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Is smoking what I want or don't want?


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Smoking cigarettes is one of the greatest joys I get in life . I just adore the nicotine smell and taste in my nose and mouth. I get a high out of it . And If I should do what feels good to Me..then that means I should continue to smoke  . That's how I trick myself .of course its needless to say or cite the negative consequences of smoking and what it does to your lungs and to your whole body really ..and every smoker knows that very well. But continues to smoke regardless. 

I have a smoking addiction.  Trying to quit since 2018 but always falling.  I realized I was deluding myself. I can keep repeating the cycle of "just one more cigarette" for the rest of my  life and will still want "just one more cigarette".  It's getting to intense phases.  Nowadays I smoke 7 packs a week or so.  My uncle just had a heart attack recently because he is a heavy smoker as well.  I need to stop or I will be  following his path.  It's getting to the point I wake up at night to smoke.    

I Considered scaring the absolute shit out of myself to change my relationship and perspective on smoking. Because whatever my attitude is towards it now, clearly isn't strong enough because I keep relapsing.

When I say scare the shit out of myself I don't mean just to glance at all the warning labels and recall common tropes. I mean really immerse myself in the consequences and become truly aware of what smoking does, can do, and WILL do to me. I better be sure it WILL happen.

Of course any smoker can "know" of all those things, and most do. But they don't care because simple acknowledgment and knowledge of all those things is just a game the ego plays with the mind to distract from with the problem. Having knowledge of something is not the same as being aware. People who are aware of the dangers of something don't participate in it, or at the very least they can.

 

Thoughts ?

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8 minutes ago, Mandy said:

@Someone here Do you prefer women with tons of makeup on and lip injections, plastic surgeries, etc, and do you prefer a more natural look? 

Lol I prefer women with tons of makeup.  White teeth (Hollywood smile ) and a perfectly symmetrical face and a lean fit body (not into fat ass and big tits )

 

But what does that have to do with smoking ?😅

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@Someone here It's about appreciating subtleties rather than only seeing the most obvious elements to something. 

 

To someone who wears perfume everyday, it smells good. To someone who never wears perfume or is rarely exposed to chemicals it produces an immediate uncomfortable constricting sensation. This person cannot possibly understand why anyone would enjoy wearing perfume. You aren't in tune to how smoking really feels to your body, because you're so taken away with the flash, the surface. That's why rarely does the first cigarette feel good to someone... unless they grew up in a smoker's home. 

 

When you really pay attention to how you feel, a daily salad feels soooo much better all around as a whole than a daily Twinkie or Big Mac. But to someone who is ONLY looking at the most obvious glaring details and is cut off from sensations in the whole of their body, the Twinkie or Big Mac will feel the best. 

 

 

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12 minutes ago, Mandy said:

@Someone here It's about appreciating subtleties rather than only seeing the most obvious elements to something. 

 

To someone who wears perfume everyday, it smells good. To someone who never wears perfume or is rarely exposed to chemicals it produces an immediate uncomfortable constricting sensation. This person cannot possibly understand why anyone would enjoy wearing perfume. You aren't in tune to how smoking really feels to your body, because you're so taken away with the flash, the surface. That's why rarely does the first cigarette feel good to someone... unless they grew up in a smoker's home. 

 

When you really pay attention to how you feel, a daily salad feels soooo much better all around as a whole than a daily Twinkie or Big Mac. But to someone who is ONLY looking at the most obvious glaring details and is cut off from sensations in the whole of their body, the Twinkie or Big Mac will feel the best. 

 

 

But I've been doing it  for almost a decade now and it is becoming a big part of my psychology.  I started when I was 16 to impress girls in high school . You are right ,I didn't like it at first and coughed a lot ,but with time it became my best friend. 

I may have learned to use cigarettes as a coping mechanism for everything from excitement and happiness to boredom or even anger. How i quit for good when I've become emotionally attached to cigarettes?

The power that nicotine has over people who smoke is tremendous. I know that   nicotine is a toxic substance .only because of the many health risks of smoking, but because of the tricks nicotine plays on those who use it. I just can't stop .I can't put the damn cigarettes down no matter how much I try.

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1 minute ago, Someone here said:

 I started when I was 16 to impress girls in high school .

And they started wearing uncomfortable clothes and tons of makeup that stings their eyes to impress you. Funny how we sacrifice our own health and ignore how we really feel in favor of how we think we need to be for other people to approve of us, isn't it? 

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6 minutes ago, Someone here said:

The power that nicotine has over people who smoke is tremendous. I know that   nicotine is a toxic substance .only because of the many health risks of smoking, but because of the tricks nicotine plays on those who use it. I just can't stop .I can't put the damn cigarettes down no matter how much I try.

No it's not. Yes you can. Pay attention to how smoking really feels. Take a smoke break minus the smoke. Move your hand back and forth, breathe deeply. Then do it with the cigarette. Is there constriction in your head? What does it actually really feel like? Smoke like you've never had a cigarette before and know nothing about addiction. 

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4 minutes ago, Mandy said:

And they started wearing uncomfortable clothes and tons of makeup that stings their eyes to impress you. Funny how we sacrifice our own health and ignore how we really feel in favor of how we think we need to be for other people to approve of us, isn't it? 

 Yes you are right  .but like I said that's why I started almost 10 years ago.  That's not why I smoke today. Im no longer trying to impress anyone with smoking. Today I smoke because I MUST .its like food and water. 

We know that smoking cigarettes is bad. Cigarettes can also fascinate people and they fascinated me, so I decided to start smoking cigarettes in my youth. You are right  .. The first cigarettes were not very good, the other cigarettes were always better and today I still smoke and I don't regret it. I need to change my whole perspective. Or do I? 

 

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42 minutes ago, Mandy said:

@Someone here Smoke like you have no expectation of it bringing you pleasure. Really get curious about what a cigarette actually feels like in your body. You think you know, but you don't. 

 

Your initial reasons for smoking are far more key than you give them credit for. 

 

 

I'm beyond help.  I'm smoking right now as I'm typing to you lol.

What if I told you I'm completely at peace and  I accept myself as a smoker and that I have no problem smoking for the rest of my life. Because smoking is WONDERFUL!! There is simply no way that I will ever quit! I am very glad that I started!

What do you say to that ?

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34 minutes ago, Eothasian said:

@Someone here you arn't feeling consequences for the smoking either but think up a future where you will encounter the consequences of smoking?

Why doesn't the same happen with diet?

I eat healthy balanced clean diet . I have no problem about diet.  Every now and then I allow myself to indulge in some pizza or ice cream or whatever..but generally I eat healthy food .

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2 minutes ago, Someone here said:

I'm beyond help.  I'm smoking right now as I'm typing to you lol.

What if I told you I'm completely at peace and  I accept myself as a smoker and that I have no problem smoking for the rest of my life. Because smoking is WONDERFUL!! There is simply no way that I will ever quit! I am very glad that I started!

What do you say to that ?

Cool, why start threads about it then? 

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3 minutes ago, Mandy said:

Cool, why start threads about it then? 

Because that's not how I feel . That's half the story . In the back of my mind I'm of course anxious about the damage I'm doing to my body and health . So I'm split off into two different islands. One that doesn't give a shit and just wants to smoke like there is no tomorrow. And one that deep down knows that this is not the right thing for me to do . Which one I gonna win ? I don't know .

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@Someone here I'm in a similar boat as you.

 

But imo, nicotine withdrawal is painless physically, the real "challenge" is the psychological aspect. 

 

I think being easy on yourself, taking solace in knowing that the withdrawal is really not a big deal (compared to meth, heroin, etc.), and simply knowing that one day you'll be ready to put the cigarettes out.

🌞🌚

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