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Commenting and evaluating everything i do?


WhiteOwl
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7 hours ago, WhiteOwl said:

There is a voice in a my "head" constantly commenting or evaluating whatever i do. If i speak to myself, or speak to someone. How to get rid of that and just stand with whatever happens without judging it? 

Hearing a voice in the narrator sense with texts is similar.  Like when we get a text from someone we don’t know, it read’s like just a text. But when it’s from someone we know well, their voice reads the text ‘in your head’. The voice is heard in a narrating sense. 

 

The focus here seems to be on the voice, getting rid of it, and being without judgement. But the focus is on and probably has been on for sometime, the voice. Perhaps  due to familiarity, thoughts are heard as a voice, like with the texts.  What about focusing instead on the “I” of ‘whatever I do’, and the “myself” of ‘I speak to myself’, instead of the voice & getting rid of it?

 

Often wanting to get rid of something is thinking it came from somewhere. But the separate ‘self’ of thought doesn’t come from anywhere, because it is only thoughts about. There isn’t the implied ‘second self’, so there’s nowhere ‘it’ came from. 

 

Creator-Creating-Creation can not focus on something and get rid of it at the same time. Like giving a stray cat milk, the attention keeps it alive so to speak.  

 

But as awareness stands as awareness of the thoughts, and not a ‘self’ the thoughts are about… it is no longer possible to judge. It is also no longer possible to be judged. It is also no longer possible to feel the discord of judgement. It is recognized to be, thoughts, wether the thoughts arise for you or someone else, they’re still thoughts.  Thoughts can’t be about awareness, as awareness is already aware of the thoughts. Awareness which in truth never ‘does’, never speaks to someone, can never be gotten rid of, and eternally stands without judgement. 

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@Eothasian Yep indeed. It sounds like a big category you mention, but some good points thank you.

 

@MandyNot sure i understand what you mean. Maybe the same as Phil as to put more attention on the I instead of the content of thought?

 

@PhilYes good way to put it. The small judgements and commentating feels like the closest "me" probably due to familiarity and belief, when it's just another thought. I just fall in the same trap over and over due to my ego being more sneaky than me, hijacking my attention. Something i also noticed is that whenever i feel really great due to not having attention on thoughts, they (thoughts) will sneak in again with more positive scenes which is actually still the same. I get equally caught in it, i just forget to pay attention to it since its pleasant, but at some point it will turn. Better to also notice even the "positive" ego driven thoughts as well. 

 

I read something from Ram Dass as i was searching yesterday evening around this topic of breaking identification with the mind. 

 

This was a good read:

 

"See, you just keep doing it all day. You notice as your mind goes “Blip, Blip, Blip.” You could be sitting here listening to a word and then you feel your butt going to sleep and you think, “What time is it?”

So, all the thoughts are trying to just do their thing and just presenting themselves. You know, it’s like a lot of pretty girls going by, offering themselves to you; they’re each a thought that comes up and says “Think of me.” The next one says, “No, think of me, think of your body,” and still another one says, “Think of your responsibility to mankind. Think of your assignments, your belly, me, me, me.”

Total advertising push all day. Most people still function under the code, “I think, therefore, I am.” They still identify that’s who they are. “What do you mean all those thoughts? …That’s who I am!” But, of course, it isn’t because “I” is behind all that. It only really gets interesting when you start to break your attachment or identification with your own thoughts and your own thinking. You keep collecting experiences.

 

- Ram Dass"

 

Thank you peeps

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29 minutes ago, WhiteOwl said:

 

@MandyNot sure i understand what you mean. Maybe the same as Phil as to put more attention on the I instead of the content of thought?

No, it was a dumb joke, I was pointing out that you didn't capitalize the letter i in your post, as if i were someone who was constantly commenting or evaluating everything you do. 

 

If you had (or do) find it funny, it might possibly point out that criticism only feels bad based on how we interpret it, and who we interpret it for, little i or big I. 

 

You expected my comment to be spiritual and helpful. It wasn't. 😂 What do you expect from yourself? 

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@WhiteOwl

If you did personal development / self-actualization stuff: Personal development can have the side effect of building up an additional layer of a separate self, which constantly has to grind, be more productive and be a better version of itself. Whenever I get caught up in such thoughts, I remind myself to ground myself in the present moment through the senses. Listening to someone, feeling the sense of touch as I'm typing this message, breathing in the air; whatever it is, which helps me to anchor myself in the present moment and just be. Feels like dropping weight to see the thoughts as guests which come and go.

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Posted (edited)

@MandyAh sneaky. I'm not certain enough of the correct way of english to get a joke like that hehe. But it's true that criticism feels bad depending on the interpretation. A lot of the time i see a thought and get annoyed/sad that i react emotionally to it, since i know intellectually it's not true. Trying to ask myself why the hell i care, or why that is so bad. I want to get above that see it from big I perspective.

I expect a lot from myself i think, always been very perfectionist, and to reply @Lotusalso, i think it only got worse after doing a lot of PD/Self-actualization. Perfection is endless, and it's easy to not be perfect in all areas. 

@LotusSounds good with grounding, i'm doing my best but i am still bothered by perspectives and thoughts too much i think. Like for example i know i might be too perfectionist, but knowing that doesn't make it less of a problem, and it's hard to eradicate things like that. (Just more thoughts, i know, writing it anywys)

 

I think things were easier at one point where i was focusing a lot on affirming i was confident, happy etc etc. After a while it helped to actually feel really good until eventually got out of it and slided back. Now something in me doesn't like that way since i see clearly that there are no "confident" people. Now its like i have to get beyond all that. If that makes sense.

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7 hours ago, WhiteOwl said:

@MandyA lot of the time i see a thought and get annoyed/sad that i react emotionally to it, since i know intellectually it's not true. 

Yes, but it's funny that we are willing to believe the thought that we SHOULD not react emotionally, and then feel the emotion of that thought... annoyed/sad.

 

I noticed this pattern where I'd wake up in the night fixated on something I hadn't done right during the day, usually something really mundane, like not watering a plant or something dumb like that, but it feels like a big deal. Then I'd notice the pattern, and think about what was happening and then think "I really shouldn't think this, I know better" but then I realized that that's just ONE MORE thought of what I'm not doing right. 😂The subject changed from the neglected houseplant to my neglected emotions, yet I STILL neglected feeling and loving myself. Sometimes just putting your hand on your heart, or belly breathing is a much better "plan" than evaluating your own evaluating.  ❤️

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