Inno Posted March 17, 2022 Share Posted March 17, 2022 Hey, fellow people. Finally decided to create an account and actively participate in a community like this, so lets get this going:) The first things I would like to communicate and hear perspectives on is with regards to feeling, emotional suppression and difficulties expressing what's inside. I do understand that whatever is so to speak on the inside should be given voice, should be expressed, however I find it pretty difficult to do so. Long story short, I've been struggling with how I feel for the past at least 6 months, where I had very difficult days and I would say that almost every day since then has been quite heavy, where I feel absolutely terrible, and at the same time have no idea why. It's like a constant emotional baggage that I carry with me and it doesn't allow me to enjoy anything in life, regardless of what it is. I feel like I need to feel good, in order to enjoy anything, sort of making it another condition. I find it very difficult to understand what exactly am I feeling. I've been trying to journal using the emotional scale, however its almost impossible to pinpoint an emotion on the scale and express what comes to mind, as everything feels like one giant ball of heavy emotions and I cannot differentiate anything out of it. I think I have created some sort of intellectual space between what exactly I feel in the moment, the perspectives that come with the feeling and how I think I should be, behave, react, feel etc. I judge what I feel and every perspective that doesnt feel good as just that, perspective and kind of dismiss it, and I feel that I should be doing exactly the opposite- give it space and voice. I often feel bad, heavy, contracted and clogged and dont really know what to do. And I feel that these discordant perspectives and thoughts are coming up and I'm supposed to let them come out, but can't. Like I want to purge or vomit a bad meal, but it gets stuck. What comes to mind is the following: I've recently parted ways with a girl I was in relationship with, and at the beginning I was trying to look at the situation from the "higher" perspective i.e. neglect how I truly felt in the situation. And a couple of days ago I finally admitted that I actually miss her. I cried a bunch and felt as I've really struck a chord there and was able to let those perspectives and feelings out and the day after I felt amazing. However thats not the case now and literally a day or two later I still feel stuck and when I sit down to write I struggle to express how I feel. Strange situation to be in and I don't really know how to go about it. Perspectives on that would be highly appreciated. Thanks:) Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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