Eternal Posted April 23, 2022 Share Posted April 23, 2022 (edited) I am tall (6'6), good looking, good physique (regularly workout), easily get dates from online but I have a horrible dating life & it gets deeply frustrating since most of the time my basic survival needs are not getting met. It feels worse when you know down deep inside that you could be doing so much better with women. About the last 15 online dates, I have failed all of them. I unconsciously reject myself from the opposite sex. Women easily give me signs of attraction also. The problem is not attracting women because that is incredibly easy for me, from past experience. It is interacting with them & getting the feeling of having a shit personality because I get rejected a majority of my dates. I have never really tried doing cold approach properly, I get good results with online game but at the same time it hurts my self esteem & makes me feel worthless. It has been a troubling inner battle for a long time now. Fear is so extremely strong with cold approach + having no others who are interested in this makes it even harder but I feel like this affects all aspects of my life currently. The most dominant force in my life is fear, fear of rejection. It's become so crippingly bad that it controls my entire life. I will go out to bars & clubs & not even do any approaches because I feel better about feeling bad. It's such a self fulfilling prophecy. I know these are all just negative thoughts but it is deep down, a dominating force in my life. I just want to regularly have sex with females & be good at dating, expressing myself. This has held me back so much in my life. This horrible social anxiety. I am even scared about what could happen if I do approach. I am terrified of the possibility of getting loads of women so easily, because it will completely shatter my worthless, loser identity that I have moulded for myself over the last so many years. I have even slept with about 35 women (most of whom approached me), quite a few where unattractive but I felt that was the only option I had at that given time. Coming to think of it, I have never really hit on girls. The fear is terrifying because I have never even really done it. I want to improve this situation so badly. I crave a loving, conscious relationship but I need to get good at attracting women first. I want to learn how to screen women out, how to find the 'right' partner for me. I know there is no right partner but I still want one that has as little issues as possible. What's worse is when I go out, I actively go out of my own way to not approach so I can feel better about my constructed identity. I am terrified of change. Even on dates, I won't try to push them. It's just boring interview/platonic talk for a few hours & we hug goodbye. My conscious side of me wants to change but my subconscious has its own plan... How do I change ? ughhhhh How do I get such bad inner thoughts but yet look so different externally, I don't get it? realistically I should have so much more confidence than I currently do. I don't even know if I should do inner work first or not. It gets so frustrating, because this consumes so much of my mind.... it even gets to the point where I am starting to repress my own male sexuality & feel worse for doing so. I need to change... Edited April 23, 2022 by Eternal Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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