Erasing Nahm

[Joseph Maynor]

6 hours ago, Rose said:

Can you please explain this? 

 

@Rose @Mandy I think this means to know Infinity is always going to be a stretch or a gloss, until it isn't.  You get a glimpse of the ox tail.  

[Mandy]

7 hours ago, Rose said:

Can you please explain this? 

To start with, there's nothing wrong with this, there's no judgement in this. Everyone who is anyone wants someone to get them, to really see them, to really hear them, to understand them. If I believe that I'm a separate thing, and I believe understanding is "it" and I sense that something is missing, the most logical place to look is in someone else getting me. I know that my own judgements and ideas about myself are flighty and fickle, and that I can't really see myself. So this only makes me feel more insecure, and it seems logical to look in another for my security and value, to look for it in someone who sees my face directly, not just a reflection of it. I know that not everyone will get me, but if I can find ONE PERSON who gets me, I'll be ok. 

 

But because I believe that I'm a separate thing, I can't get anyone else, in that I am too busy thinking about what they are, what I believe they are, what I believe I'm seeing and hearing from them, what I'm expecting or needing from them, what I'm projecting on them, that I don't see or hear them at all. Maybe I haven't even considered the question of whether I really "get" anyone else, or CAN expect myself to get anyone else, because I've been to busy searching for someone just to get me. 

 

So the belief in separate selves is what promises to resolve this longing, this dissatisfaction in interactions and is also the very creation of it. We don't interact or commune because we're at a standoff waiting for other to get us first. 

 

What happens if I meet someone who never took on most of the beliefs others I interact with have, or someone who let go of those beliefs somewhere along the way? What if I come across someone who has no need to be gotten by me? I feel seen and heard in a way I never have. They have insights into my life, my desires and my beliefs that I don't have, that I don't see. There's a sense of shared being and acceptance that was missing with all the people who interacted as distracted self centered selves. This might have even been my own family most of the time. They were too distracted to see me. 

 

Yet this person that I have found, that I might think is conscious, awake, my soulmate, my twin flame, or endless other explanations, doesn't get me at all. The reason they see and hear me like no one else is exactly because I am NOTHING to them, not that they don't love me but that they have no preconceived notions about me and want nothing from me. 

 

What I really want in the desire for someone to get me is to not longer demand that people understand me and for me to finally stop trying to get other people.

 

To a self that has only interacted in a world with other selves that only want from them or disregard them, this attention that wants nothing can seem either like getting what it has always wanted more deeply than anything or it can seem deeply unsettling. Or it can go back and forth. Disappointment is inevitable and freeing. 

 

Again, there's nothing wrong with this, there's no judgement in this. 

 

 

 

 

[ivankiss]

Here's some ultra advanced shit that will fly right over your head again, because you're too blinded by spiritual nonsense...

 

To forgive is to suffer

Once or twice is kind

Three or four is blind

 

It is not the end

Yet a way to begin
The power of words

Both good and bad

The easy way to say ok
Twist your knife a little deeper
Words so sharp actions dark
Hide the blade of the deceiver

 

 

[ivankiss]

You see, Nahm... I don't have to forgive you shit, actually. It is incredibly liberating when that realization dawns.

 

God will forgive you, instead of me. And not even.

 

Remember SoonHei? I do.

 

I think about him very often. I think about the incident often.

 

You really fucked that one up, huh? Can't get much worse than that. Talk about shit backfiring right in your face...

 

You handled that one so terribly bad. So immature, you were. Like a spiritual infant.

 

You also traumatized the fuck out of me and many others with that one. Bravo!

 

I bear some guilt in that story too, as many others do, I'm sure. Yes, I also filled SoonHei's head with spiritual garbage, on more than one occasion.

 

But you... brother... you really took it to another level. You went all the way.

 

You couldn't be any further from Truth.

 

Shame on you, Nahm. You should allow yourself to feel it sometimes. It could benefit you greatly.

 

Also... while we're at it... You handled the whole Leo/actualized jazz awfully, too. Just so messy.

 

I can see your hurting bad over it. You're still coping by making fun of it here, among your fellow clowns. What is it, 2 years now...?

 

I'm doing the same, Nahm. I learn from the best.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[ivankiss]

It fucking could have been me. Easily.

 

If not for music. If not for love.

 

True love. Not the bullshit you're selling.

[ivankiss]

I could have jumped off of that bridge to my death. And in a way, I did.

 

 

If that's the highest non - truth, the highest non - teaching you do not have to offer, I want no part in it.

Edited May 29 by ivankiss

[ivankiss]

You're not invisible. 

 

None of you are.

 

You are me, fools! Of course I see you clearly.

[ivankiss]

Don't forget to laugh folks 😄

 

Take note 😉

[ivankiss]

Absolutely demolished you are.

 

I left you with nothing.

 

And I could go on forever.

[ivankiss]

Feel that. Own it. It is you.

 

I love you, Nahm. I love you all, so very, very much. You have no idea. Not a clue.

 

Thank you for holding space. Thank you for not being here at all.

[Joseph Maynor]

16 hours ago, Reena said:

What is the true nature of the shadow? Is it a literal darkness  or a metaphor for the unknown or something else entirely?

 

The shadow is what the ego wants to distance itself from, what it is ashamed of, from what is part of the self but not acknowledged and often repressed and projected onto others who are shamed and scapegoated as a result.  People with very judgmental egos who are always in self-protection mode often have a huge shadow.  They're full of repressed self-shame, but lash outward instead of integrate inward.  They truly hate themselves but it comes off as hating others, hating outward, or taking a didactic moral tone directed outward.  They try to come off really clean in persona and lecture others about how flawed they all are.

Edited May 29 by Joseph Maynor

[Reena]

2 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

 

The shadow is what the ego wants to distance itself from, what it is ashamed of, from what is part of the self but not acknowledged and often repressed and projected onto others who are shamed and scapegoated as a result.  People with very judgmental egos who are always in self-protection mode often have a huge shadow.  They're full of repressed self-shame, but lash outward instead of integrate inward.  They truly hate themselves but it comes off as hating others, hating outward, or taking a didactic moral tone directed outward.  They try to come off really clean in persona and lecture others about how flawed they all are.

I do not wish to speak to you. Thanks. Stop being obsessed with me and my posts. I want nothing to do with you. Keep distance please. 

 

Edited May 29 by Reena

[Reena]

Just now, Joseph Maynor said:

 

Then don't.  I'm still free to post on here.  You're free to block me.

How many times do I have to say that I don't want to be triggered by you. What's so hard about it. Yes you can talk to people. You don't always obsessively have to respond to my posts. All of your posts are mildly triggering and an attempt to passive aggressively instigate and attack my character. It's not cool to do that. I'm very frustrated by your obsessive behavior. I will stop posting on the forum until you leave me alone. I do not wish to be bothered by you. How many times does a person have to say. At this point it's just harassment. 

 

[Joseph Maynor]

1 minute ago, Reena said:

How many times do I have to say that I don't want to be triggered by you. What's so hard about it. Yes you can talk to people. You don't always obsessively have to respond to my posts. All of your posts are mildly triggering and an attempt to passive aggressively instigate and attack my character. It's not cool to do that. I'm very frustrated by your obsessive behavior. I will stop posting on the forum until you leave me alone. I do not wish to be bothered by you. How many times does a person have to say. At this point it's just harassment. 

Stop spreading lies.

[Reena]

Just now, Joseph Maynor said:

Stop spreading lies.

Stop bullying me please. 

[ivankiss]

It is like you love it and you hate it at the same time. You want to avoid it, you know you are going to burn if you touch, but you are also so damn attracted to it that you simply cannot help yourself but run straight towards it. 

 

Shame is not something you have or carry around. It is something that can be felt, at any given moment.

Spiritual clowns... like to pretend like it does not exist. Or like it is not God too.

 

You spend too much time at level 9000, and all that joy and bliss makes you go a bit coo - coo.

[Joseph Maynor]

@ivankiss Some people are allergic to shadow and deny they even have ego.  Anyway we went through this on here about 6 months ago.  It was really weird. And I'm not talking about anyone in particular here just to be clear.

[ivankiss]

@Joseph Maynor Just keep rocking your jam.

 

You're cool Joseph. I remember playing spiritual clown in front of you too, trying to sell you garbage, years ago. Sorry for that, but also not. I trust you understand how it all has it place and it had to happen exactly the way it did.

[ivankiss]

@Joseph Maynor Awesome!

 

Going for a nice little walk now. It's lovely outside.

 

Will check the vid when I'm back. Thanks.

[Mandy]

Please feel free to use the Emptying section of this forum to clear up confusion around anything specific that a teacher has said and make the intention of your discussion less about the right or wrongness of the teacher themselves. We aim to do our very best to apply the principles in the guidelines of this forum to everyone, regardless of whether they are present on the forum or not. If we are talking about any one specific, teacher, politician, member, etc, the focus should be questioning the specific comment, viewpoint, action or policy, not the person themselves.