fopylo Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 Hi, I was planning on making this post for some time and I'm doing it very spontaneous now. I'll just get to the main point. I'm jealous of my brother that he is doing better socially, romantically, has a richer life experience, has good family relationships, has a clean and tidy room (very stylish), gets dress nicely, and is constantly learning new skills and open about them. The only thing I have better is that I have a good body and strength, and that I read books and understand history better, and that I am better at learning stuff like languages. I'm not trying to be above him. I just don't want to be far off from him. He is my younger brother of 2 years apart. It's a little humiliating for me as the older brother. I've recently came to the conclusion that in order to be successful in life it is VITAL to harness those SOCIAL SKILLS, since we are social creatures and create big changes with the help of others. My social skills are so terrible that it makes me worry. I really feel like I'm stuck behind in this aspect. No wonder I'm not living a great life. I've pushed social interaction aside for quite some time, and instead I've been focusing on completing to watch a series of reaction videos to anime of a YouTuber, which takes pretty much most of my time and don't do anything interesting on the weekend - staying static. I am not living the best life I could. I won't go through natural selection of life. I don't even know if I'd ever have/want a girlfriend, or kids, or to get married. Those things seem like a myth. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceejay Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 On 2/24/2024 at 9:04 PM, fopylo said: My social skills are so terrible that it makes me worry. This belief should be questioned. You don't have to socialize the way your brother socializes or do everything like he does. You have your own unique identity and you need to find out your own exclusive method of socialization and style. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robed Mystic Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 (edited) On 2/24/2024 at 9:34 AM, fopylo said: Hi, I was planning on making this post for some time and I'm doing it very spontaneous now. I'll just get to the main point. I'm jealous of my brother that he is doing better socially, romantically, has a richer life experience, has good family relationships, has a clean and tidy room (very stylish), gets dress nicely, and is constantly learning new skills and open about them. The only thing I have better is that I have a good body and strength, and that I read books and understand history better, and that I am better at learning stuff like languages. I'm not trying to be above him. I just don't want to be far off from him. He is my younger brother of 2 years apart. It's a little humiliating for me as the older brother. I've recently came to the conclusion that in order to be successful in life it is VITAL to harness those SOCIAL SKILLS, since we are social creatures and create big changes with the help of others. My social skills are so terrible that it makes me worry. I really feel like I'm stuck behind in this aspect. No wonder I'm not living a great life. I've pushed social interaction aside for quite some time, and instead I've been focusing on completing to watch a series of reaction videos to anime of a YouTuber, which takes pretty much most of my time and don't do anything interesting on the weekend - staying static. I am not living the best life I could. I won't go through natural selection of life. I don't even know if I'd ever have/want a girlfriend, or kids, or to get married. Those things seem like a myth. Stop comparing yourself to him. It has become an obsession so find a new one. You will realize that this just a trick of the mind. The mind plays many tricks. It tries to find your flaws and then it exploits them. It is devilry. But honestly you have to have your own way here. Once you do that everything else will fall into place. Edited February 25 by Robed Mystic Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 Experience -> preference -> belief loop -> alignment-> manifestation. Experience ✔️ Preference(s) ✔️ Belief loop Alignment Receiving Mode Manifestation Feeling jealousy is the end of the belief loop ‘I’m jealous’. Alignment is that of thought with feeling. ‘I’m jealous’ as a thought will never feel aligned, because it’s about someone else, a second self. That isn’t known about yourself. It’s a belief. You might say “Phil is jealous”, and that makes sense as it’s a reference to someone else. You would never say “Phil is jealousy”. It doesn’t make sense because it’s a reference to an emotion. The thought, “I’m jealous” doesn’t make sense because it’s reference to… yourself, which you already are. “I’m feeling jealousy” makes sense as there’s only one you involved. Experience ✔️ Preference(s) ✔️ Belief loop ✔️ Alignment Receiving Mode Manifestation But don’t stop there, finish the scale. Experience ✔️ Preference(s) ✔️ Belief loop ✔️ Alignment ✔️ Receiving Mode 🥰 Manifestation Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fopylo Posted February 25 Author Share Posted February 25 @Ceejay 2 hours ago, Ceejay said: This belief should be questioned. You don't have to socialize the way your brother socializes or do everything like he does. You have your own unique identity and you need to find out your own exclusive method of socialization and style. Thanks for your kind words. You are right. I would probably have my own style of socializing. I'm probably more introverted than him, and prefer meeting in smaller groups of people. I believe it's about being comfortable in your own style, and I am not very comfortable with people, even with small groups. I believe you need to have social skills in order to survive in society, whether it's working in small groups, talking to a group of people, or even 1-1 talks. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fopylo Posted February 25 Author Share Posted February 25 @Phil 35 minutes ago, Phil said: Feeling jealousy is the end of the belief loop ‘I’m jealous’. I like that sentence. Really. 36 minutes ago, Phil said: because it’s about someone else, a second self. The narrative self vs the experiential self. Like in meditation... Reminds me of the difference between actually feeling the breath vs focusing on the thought that there's a me who is currently doing the breathing. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 @fopylo Exactly! Nice. Same with ‘makes me worry’. If a preference for learning social more skills arises, great, enjoy it. No need to compare or disparage. 🤍 Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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