Hurt °°° Silence°°°stolen°°° Valley Girl

[Reena]

This significant trauma in my life was spazzing out as rape fantasy 

[Reena]

These rape dreams are a form of trauma release. Don't feel upset by them. It will be ok.

[Reena]

10 hours ago, Reena said:

These rape dreams are a form of trauma release. Don't feel upset by them. It will be ok.

I have received significant amount of information on what's happening to me. I feel a bit more empowered than before. The more I negotiate this with myself. 

 

[Reena]

I have spent days not eating and putting all the hard work into understanding my mental problems. 

 

[Reena]

10 hours ago, Reena said:

These rape dreams are a form of trauma release. Don't feel upset by them. It will be ok.

I  am my own power. 

 

[Reena]

10 hours ago, Reena said:

These rape dreams are a form of trauma release. Don't feel upset by them. It will be ok.

It's natural that I'll have behavioral issues given the amount of trauma I suffered.. 

[Reena]

11 hours ago, Reena said:

These rape dreams are a form of trauma release. Don't feel upset by them. It will be ok.

Aspects Tribal - 

 

I think when someone suffers extreme level of trauma in their childhood and the world doesn't have a cure for it, it's like it's the tribalistic aspects that handle it better. 

These rape dreams could be an offshoot of those tribalistic aspects. 

They give relief by playing out the reptilian mind 

 

It's like when you traumatize a mind, the mind goes berserk and then the reptilian mind is triggered in the process. This is a bold move. A move toward survival. 

 

Again survival is not love. Remember that rapists program your mind to believe that survival is love. If they feed you, they love you. This is a false illusion. Realize that this is equivalent to someone pushing you off the stairs and then taking you to the hospital. Just because they take you to the hospital does not make them angels. 

But this exact recipe or method is used by rapists and hostage situations or captors who first take you hostage and then feed you and act like they did a service to you. It's like they did a favor to you. This is not a true friend. This is not a true helper. Can you see this? Can you see through this deception? Can you see the Devil? The devil is always in the details. In order to know the Devil, you have to know each and every detail of what's happening to you. Because there lies your freedom and the GOLD KEY that you needed to set yourself free. 

 

The rape dreams could also be a signal that you are struggling and trying to set yourself free or a caution that you should do so. 

 

 

[Reena]

11 hours ago, Reena said:

These rape dreams are a form of trauma release. Don't feel upset by them. It will be ok.

You aren't surrounded by pure people. And that's your biggest problem. 

Remember "pure people." 

 

[Reena]

3 minutes ago, Reena said:

You aren't surrounded by pure people. And that's your biggest problem. 

Remember "pure people." 

 

Now what are pure people? 

Pure people are those who genuinely want to help you. That is they aren't playing games with your head. They will not make conditions to help you. They will not blackmail you. 

They will not challenge your survival. 

They will not rape you and then tell you that they are going to feed you. This is a tactic. This is to control you the way animals are abused. 

It's vile. 

It's the enemy or the wolf in sheep's clothing. 

It's like how my mother was forced to marry for survival. How she was told that this was in her own good. She was pushed off the stairs in the marriage. 

[Reena]

It's like if her family wanted to help her, they would have helped her. They wouldn't have forced her into a marriage she didn't want 

 

 

 

Long ago my mother said to me - 

I won't let you be forced to marry a man who you don't want to marry. I won't let you suffer the way I did. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THIS IS GENERATIONAL TRAUMA 

 

 

 

 

[Reena]

9 minutes ago, Reena said:

You aren't surrounded by pure people. And that's your biggest problem. 

Remember "pure people." 

 

When a pure person comes to you, they listen to you deeply deeply deeply. Because after all they claim they want to help you. 

 

 

My last boyfriend was like that. At least somewhat. He gave me a glimpse into what pure love can look like but he quickly abandoned me after that because he thought trying to help me was overwhelming. I don't blame him because I was dealing with serious trauma. 

 

 

[Reena]

11 hours ago, Reena said:

These rape dreams are a form of trauma release. Don't feel upset by them. It will be ok.

You will realize that fraud is a part of evil. 

Fraud is what the enemy does. 

 

They are frauding you. This is the first sign of NOT LOVE. 

 

 

[Reena]

11 hours ago, Reena said:

These rape dreams are a form of trauma release. Don't feel upset by them. It will be ok.

If someone wants to truly love you, they will set you free. 

They won't lock you up and then feed you breadcrumbs. 

And then act like they are loving you. That's not Love my love. 

 

[Reena]

1 minute ago, Reena said:

If someone wants to truly love you, they will set you free. 

They won't lock you up and then feed you breadcrumbs. 

And then act like they are loving you. That's not Love my love. 

 

You have been frauded. 

 

[Reena]

11 hours ago, Reena said:

These rape dreams are a form of trauma release. Don't feel upset by them. It will be ok.

Who are rapists? 

 

Rapists are power hungry people. 

They want absolute power. Absolute tyranny. 

They will do anything for it. 

 

Everything is power, at least for the rapist. 

 

Power is survival. PURE STAGE RED. 

 

Now why do you think you rely on the rapist. Why do you think you are submitting to him? 

 

That's because in some ways this power is your shadow. 

(I have always been against authority) 

In some ways the rape dreams are showing up my shadow aspects regarding power. 

The rapist has to be a police officer. Why? 

Because a police officer is powerful? The uniform represents power over people. 

 

Why are women attracted to power? 

 

The power is your SHADOW. 

 

You are trying to run away from the shadow. But you are trying to run away from your own shadow. Can you see this? 

 

Now ask yourself.. Can you really run away from your own shadow? 

The answer is No. 

 

So you're running away from something that you can never truly run away from. 

What's the point then? 

 

It's like a dog chasing it's tail. 

 

 

[Reena]

12 hours ago, Reena said:

These rape dreams are a form of trauma release. Don't feel upset by them. It will be ok.

In my dream, the rapist says to me - 

You're taking a lot of risk by offending me. 

 

 

 

 

 

Has anyone ever made you (Reena) feel like this way in your life? 

 

 

That's a veiled threat. 

 

 

[Reena]

Just now, Reena said:

In my dream, the rapist says to me - 

You're taking a lot of risk by offending me. 

 

 

 

 

 

Has anyone ever made you (Reena) feel like this way in your life? 

 

 

That's a veiled threat. 

 

 

When a rapist says that to you, he is once again asserting his power over you. 

 

He sees you as helpless. This Dialogue was a power move from the rapist. He was trying to weaken you, to make you feel like the better way ahead is by you pleasing him or else things are not going to be well for you. It's an indirect blackmail. 

 

 

He is trying to control you 

 

 

 

[Reena]

12 hours ago, Reena said:

These rape dreams are a form of trauma release. Don't feel upset by them. It will be ok.

 

There's a part of my rape dream where I tend to gain more power over the rapist. Like I get financially more successful and get ahead in life. I become a very influential person and enjoy fame, success and money. The rapist is a homeless pauper living paycheck to paycheck. 

 

Then one day he comes at my door and the dialogues in the dream are as follows - 

 

"Reena, now you're rich, so you forgot me?" 

 

I'm like, what do you want nasty pig. 

 

As I'm doing my makeup in the mirror, he stands behind me lecturing me about how the world is so fake and that I'm a doll stuck in this brutal world. 

 

 

The Rapist -

"all this is temporary nonsense. You'll soon come to me. You silly girl. They give you all these luxuries and you forget me. you forget me. I was like a father to you. I cared for you. Fed you. Saved you from savages who wanted to kill you. And you, you Sit there and ignore me. I know you aren't heartless. "

 

Me (in front of the mirror adjusting my necklace) 

-

" so you're dirt poor now. What do you want? By the way how are you doing? "

 

The Rapist - 

" I'm not doing good. "

 

Me - 

" I think you want money. And that's why you come to me now. "

I pull out a drawer and grab my purse and take a wad of cash out of it and throw it at him. 

" take this money. That's what you wanted right. Now leave me alone. "

 

 

The Rapist - 

He stands really close to me and then whispers into my ears - " I wanted you." 

 

 

Then I soften a bit. I thought he is just a superficial person who wants to use me for his needs. 

But then I see some genuineness in him. He probably really wants me. He probably does care about me. It's just that his love could not be as pure as I wanted it to be. His love is warped. His love is dysfunctional. Yet it's still love. My heart is not big enough to accept such love. 

 

 

[Reena]

1 minute ago, Reena said:

 

There's a part of my rape dream where I tend to gain more power over the rapist. Like I get financially more successful and get ahead in life. I become a very influential person and enjoy fame, success and money. The rapist is a homeless pauper living paycheck to paycheck. 

 

Then one day he comes at my door and the dialogues in the dream are as follows - 

 

"Reena, now you're rich, so you forgot me?" 

 

I'm like, what do you want nasty pig. 

 

As I'm doing my makeup in the mirror, he stands behind me lecturing me about how the world is so fake and that I'm a doll stuck in this brutal world. 

 

 

The Rapist -

"all this is temporary nonsense. You'll soon come to me. You silly girl. They give you all these luxuries and you forget me. you forget me. I was like a father to you. I cared for you. Fed you. Saved you from savages who wanted to kill you. And you, you Sit there and ignore me. I know you aren't heartless. "

 

Me (in front of the mirror adjusting my necklace) 

-

" so you're dirt poor now. What do you want? By the way how are you doing? "

 

The Rapist - 

" I'm not doing good. "

 

Me - 

" I think you want money. And that's why you come to me now. "

I pull out a drawer and grab my purse and take a wad of cash out of it and throw it at him. 

" take this money. That's what you wanted right. Now leave me alone. "

 

 

The Rapist - 

He stands really close to me and then whispers into my ears - " I wanted you." 

 

 

Then I soften a bit. I thought he is just a superficial person who wants to use me for his needs. 

But then I see some genuineness in him. He probably really wants me. He probably does care about me. It's just that his love could not be as pure as I wanted it to be. His love is warped. His love is dysfunctional. Yet it's still love. My heart is not big enough to accept such love. 

 

 

This is Eros love or Erotic love, sexual love, manipulative love. Abusive love. Dysfunctional codependent love. 

I don't know to what extent this is true love or if it is something I should positively be receptive to. 

 

[Reena]

2 minutes ago, Reena said:

This is Eros love or Erotic love, sexual love, manipulative love. Abusive love. Dysfunctional codependent love. 

I don't know to what extent this is true love or if it is something I should positively be receptive to. 

 

The Rapist can also be a hypocrite. 

 

 

He might tell you that he wants only you. Yet he might be frauding you 

 

 

As a result your trust meter is completely out of whack. 

You simply can never trust anyone. Trust them that they will really love you, never abandon you