How do I stop internal dialogue ?

[almond]

Hey,

How do I stop internal dialogue? Unlike actively shut down thoughts, the stoicism of it.. could be a bit like suppressing so I don't do that. I would like to mention about the 'grip' also; how the mind holds on or 'bites onto' words that are read or at a glance of a word; how it's pronounced in mind instead of just seeing.. I want the grip to begone. In retrospect, I'm tired of hearing my thoughts. When they are actively quietened, it crops up in an observing way. That too, I want gone. 

 

Mantras are useful but they've been on and off, as since I have to find a place where I can chant. .

gate gate

 

 

Edited November 8, 2023 by almond

[Phil]

Why do you want to stop internal dialogue?

[almond]

It's neither a friend or foe, just taking up space at this point. Befriending the voice in my head works but it's tiresome to hear myself unhappily. Maybe, it's a case of this this too shall pass for now.

[Phil]

But why do you want to stop thoughts?

[almond]

My thoughts are scattered like leaves on the the surface of a pond. It's like I want to gather them all and put in a delegated place, neatly or at least remove it from the still reflection of the pond . 

 

 

[almond]

3 hours ago, Phil said:

But why do you want to stop thoughts?

so I can be vacant, there is spaciousness. There is less of that grip, the bite of words at a distance. To let go, to be free of random grief that's just floating about. 

Edited November 8, 2023 by almond

[Phil]

Grief is an emotion.

Something wrong with it?

[almond]

i'm tired of emotion, I guess.

I'll get some rest.

Edited November 8, 2023 by almond

[Blessed2]

28 minutes ago, almond said:

Mantras are useful but they've been on and off, as since I have to find a place where I can chant. .

 

You don't need to chant them out loud. You can just do it silently, in thought.

[Phil]

When is emotion experienced, other than now?

 

What is it about grief you’re tired of?

 

What is the discordant thought about grief?

 

It’s you fault?

 

It shouldn’t have happened?

 

It isn’t fair?

[Joseph Maynor]

Daily meditation.  You'll have a different problem; namely, how to get used to having a blank mind a lot of the time.  

[Orb]

1 hour ago, almond said:

Hey,

How do I stop internal dialogue? Unlike actively shut down thoughts, the stoicism of it.. could be a bit like suppressing so I don't do that. I would like to mention about the 'grip' also; how the mind holds on or 'bites onto' words that are read or at a glance of a word; how it's pronounced in mind instead of just seeing.. I want the grip to begone. In retrospect, I'm tired of hearing my thoughts. When they are actively quietened, it crops up in an observing way. That too, I want gone. 

 

Mantras are useful but they've been on and off, as since I have to find a place where I can chant. .

gate gate

 

 

The dialogue isn't a problem when it isn't identified with. 

 

You are not inside the thoughts.

 

Then the thoughts aren't as interesting and they kinda fade more into the background.

[almond]

4 hours ago, Phil said:

When is emotion experienced, other than now?

 

Emotion experienced since a month ago

 

4 hours ago, Phil said:

What is it about grief you’re tired of?

 

What I'm tired about grief is the way it continues, when I ardently want to make amends and find resolve but I can't directly so I'm finding other ways to appease the grief, by expressing more and sharing and all these things. So, once grief simmers down and practically isn't there anymore, regret surfaces that it could have been and I could of done better, none of this would of happened yadayada. 

 

4 hours ago, Phil said:

What is the discordant thought about grief?

For hoping that my friend will return, the grief felt in hope if it's in vain and, if I don't hope there is despair. So, I don't allow or choose neither to be felt, therefore

sadness ensues.

 

4 hours ago, Phil said:

It’s you fault?

 

No. Although more I dwelt on this whole grief thing, I wonder if I could have handled it better instead of share about it or try to find some kind of resolve.. In lieu with my previous mention about findig ways to appease it. 

 

4 hours ago, Phil said:

It shouldn’t have happened?

 

Yes and no.. If none of what happened meant I would still maintain friendship, but then this is regret so.. and I regret nothing, to be fair.. Just that it would be nice if things didn't leve abruptly.

 

4 hours ago, Phil said:

It isn’t fair?

 

It''s fair. I regret not realizing this would all happeen. I had a dream about a rose 2 yrs ago and found the log again, which made me sad that it had happened even to that level. Like..

I'm tired ofo being tired.

I'm gong to rest for now

[almond]

4 hours ago, Orb said:

The dialogue isn't a problem when it isn't identified with. 

 

You are not inside the thoughts.

 

Then the thoughts aren't as interesting and they kinda fade more into the background.

thanks

[nonduallogic]

Meditative awareness of where you are. Simply accept where you, what your current thought and feeling is, and simply relax into it, in a sense. 

 

 

[Phil]

12 minutes ago, almond said:

Emotion experienced since a month ago

Thought can be very sneaky, making it seem as if emotion is experienced ‘in time’. Allowing emotion to be felt is being present with emotion, as awareness, presence. The former feels discordant, and the latter feels aligned & the discordant emotion dissolves into the presence of awareness, via non-aversion (allowing the emotion to be felt). 

 

12 minutes ago, almond said:

What I'm tired about grief is the way it continues, when I ardently want to make amends and find resolve but I can't directly so I'm finding other ways to appease the grief, by expressing more and sharing and all these things. So, once grief simmers down and practically isn't there anymore, regret surfaces that it could have been and I could of done better, none of this would of happened yadayada. 

 

As the emotion is allowed to be felt & dissolves, and there is alignment, insight arises as to just how the interpretation was discordant, or ‘off’ in a hindsight manor. The more emotion is acknowledged as present, and allowed to be felt, and interpretations change, the more there is foresight clarity rather than hindsight clarity. It’s worthwhile and is in & of itself an unfettering of awareness. 

 

Is an aspect of current experience, that you should have known more or been more aware in the past, as it relates?

In truth, should or could you have been? 

Maybe you are being hard on yourself illogically, and feeling the discord of doing so.

If so, and this is open-mindedly considered, the truth of your innocence tends to ‘shine through’. 

Forgiving yourself would be relieving and aligning. But - the emphasis has to be put on open-mindedness and caring more about how you feel that what you think. That could be said to be allowing, rather than asserting. 

 

23 minutes ago, almond said:

For hoping that my friend will return, the grief felt in hope if it's in vain and, if I don't hope there is despair. So, I don't allow or choose neither to be felt, therefore

sadness ensues.

How does it feel to accept that your friend is absolutely free, and to with them well?

More so, how does the recognition that you are already absolutely free in this regard as well feel?

(It can seem as if this freedom is not the case when / while ‘holding’ a discordant interpretation in spite of the guidance unmistakably felt).

 

25 minutes ago, almond said:

No. Although more I dwelt on this whole grief thing, I wonder if I could have handled it better instead of share about it or try to find some kind of resolve.. In lieu with my previous mention about findig ways to appease it. 

That resonates here. What would you do differently if you had it to do over again, knowing what you know now from having experienced this?

Do the dots connect with whatever that is, you didn’t know it then, and therein you are truly innocent?

 

26 minutes ago, almond said:

Yes and no.. If none of what happened meant I would still maintain friendship, but then this is regret so.. and I regret nothing, to be fair.. Just that it would be nice if things didn't leve abruptly.

Maybe there’s a little resentment towards them for how they handled it? Can you put yourself in there shoes so to speak? Maybe if you were them, having the experiences and frame of reference they have, listening to the guidance to the extent they are… maybe you would have done the exact same thing…?

 

28 minutes ago, almond said:

It''s fair. I regret not realizing this would all happeen. I had a dream about a rose 2 yrs ago and found the log again, which made me sad that it had happened even to that level. Like..

I'm tired ofo being tired.

I'm gong to rest for now

Maybe you’re tired of regret, resentment, and going alone as in, without the guidance…? 

[almond]

23 hours ago, Phil said:

Thought can be very sneaky, making it seem as if emotion is experienced ‘in time’. Allowing emotion to be felt is being present with emotion, as awareness, presence. The former feels discordant, and the latter feels aligned & the discordant emotion dissolves into the presence of awareness, via non-aversion (allowing the emotion to be felt). 

 

As the emotion is allowed to be felt & dissolves, and there is alignment, insight arises as to just how the interpretation was discordant, or ‘off’ in a hindsight manor. The more emotion is acknowledged as present, and allowed to be felt, and interpretations change, the more there is foresight clarity rather than hindsight clarity. It’s worthwhile and is in & of itself an unfettering of awareness.  

 

So, if I undrstood clearly to allow emotion to arise and be felt, present with it.. and the more of it- the better, to feel that until dissolves. I do hope it's dissolved then, and wouldn't resurface < but this statement might be like a subtle resistance . . So, I can't warrant what will be, only what is.   

?

 

23 hours ago, Phil said:

Maybe you are being hard on yourself illogically, and feeling the discord of doing so.

If so, and this is open-mindedly considered, the truth of your innocence tends to ‘shine through’. 

Forgiving yourself would be relieving and aligning. But - the emphasis has to be put on open-mindedness and caring more about how you feel that what you think. That could be said to be allowing, rather than asserting. 

 

yes, I do recognize I'm very hard on myself and I don't really harbour a lot of mercy. I do feel sorry for when I couldn't foresee the outcome, and it's fair to say that it is not my fault for not knowing thereof. I realized today that if it's hard to be soft to myself then allowing just softness, is possible. Also, I didn't understand what you mean by allowance, maybe to be gracious or gracefully gentle is what's meant. . 

23 hours ago, Phil said:

That resonates here. What would you do differently if you had it to do over again, knowing what you know now from having experienced this?

Do the dots connect with whatever that is, you didn’t know it then, and therein you are truly innocent?

 

so, I was offered long-term friendship, but was told, ''i hope you can agree.. if not, I understand'' graciously.. I didn't see it was a chance given,.. couldn't have foreseen what that would mean for me. It means a lot, now. I appreciate nonetheless despite regret, that. The dots do connect somehow .

23 hours ago, Phil said:

 

Maybe there’s a little resentment towards them for how they handled it? Can you put yourself in there shoes so to speak? Maybe if you were them, having the experiences and frame of reference they have, listening to the guidance to the extent they are… maybe you would have done the exact same thing…?

 

 

yes. the resentment of free-will to drop friendsip like a hot or lukewarm potato  < that's my perspective though. In foresight everything is as it is and there is good rhyme and reason for the way life plays out. It's a divine, seemingly practical joke!  And I want to half laugh and cry about it sincerely. As you mentioned about allowing I'm reminded of the term surrender, I don't know if it's like a waving a white flag in the air. When emotions are up in the air and finally is felt, cared about and simmers down (dissolves) >?   I'm worry it will resurface but by now I've pretty much gone through the thick of it. I miss. my friend. That may just be a thing after all, like missing most favourite happy place / to create more happy places in my world is possible. . in a way reconstruction. Like taking the remains/good memories and reinvent it instead of souvenir or disregard them. > ? 

 

Surprisingly today I was able to properly laugh at a random joke I read, there was some grief visiting after but it wasn't unbearable.

 

23 hours ago, Phil said:

Maybe you’re tired of regret, resentment, and going alone as in, without the guidance…? 

 

Yes. 

[Phil]

4 hours ago, almond said:

So, if I undrstood clearly to allow emotion to arise and be felt, present with it.. and the more of it- the better, to feel that until dissolves.

Yes.

4 hours ago, almond said:

I do hope it's dissolved then, and wouldn't resurface < but this statement might be like a subtle resistance . .

Yes. Exactly.

4 hours ago, almond said:

So, I can't warrant what will be, only what is.   

?

Yes exactly! There isn’t even an I, separate of what is, which could warrant or be warranted.

4 hours ago, almond said:

yes, I do recognize I'm very hard on myself and I don't really harbour a lot of mercy. I do feel sorry for when I couldn't foresee the outcome, and it's fair to say that it is not my fault for not knowing thereof. I realized today that if it's hard to be soft to myself then allowing just softness, is possible. Also, I didn't understand what you mean by allowance, maybe to be gracious or gracefully gentle is what's meant. . 

Allowance might look like allowing that it’s all entirely unwarranted. There isn’t a self which is very hard on a second self, does or doesn’t harbour mercy on a second self, feels sorry for or doesn’t feel sorry for a second self, could or can’t see an outcome. 

 

Not only is it absolutely no one’s fault for not knowing… not knowing is reality. Knowing is appearance of Not Knowing, and a knower is illusory. Knowing could be referred to as ignorance, but the illusion of ignorance seems more accurate. 

 

Softness, gentleness, grace, yes, absolutely. Kindness simply means in kind, alike, likeness. ‘Character’ indicative of, the true nature. ‘Kind’ is literally the word used for the Eucharist. ‘Eating in kind’, as compared to ‘from the tree of the knowledge of good & evil’. (‘Eating’ as in ‘the daily bread’.) Or simply, plugging in and then vacuuming.

 

4 hours ago, almond said:

yes. the resentment of free-will to drop friendsip like a hot or lukewarm potato  < that's my perspective though. In foresight everything is as it is and there is good rhyme and reason for the way life plays out. It's a divine, seemingly practical joke!  And I want to half laugh and cry about it sincerely. As you mentioned about allowing I'm reminded of the term surrender, I don't know if it's like a waving a white flag in the air. When emotions are up in the air and finally is felt, cared about and simmers down (dissolves) >?   I'm worry it will resurface but by now I've pretty much gone through the thick of it. I miss. my friend. That may just be a thing after all, like missing most favourite happy place / to create more happy places in my world is possible. . in a way reconstruction. Like taking the remains/good memories and reinvent it instead of souvenir or disregard them. > ? 

👇🏼

4 hours ago, almond said:

 

Surprisingly today I was able to properly laugh at a random joke I read, there was some grief visiting after but it wasn't unbearable.

👌🏼

 

4 hours ago, almond said:

Yes. 

Phil was too. Fuck that. ♥️✊🏼

 

Reality’s just so much more amazing. Last night there was a nighttime dream of someone to meet for something ‘important’. The dream included their first & last name, and the city they live in. This morning I searched it and it was exactly accurate. 

[almond]

incredible.. 

[Phil]

You really are. 🙂