_1000 love letters to my lover Benton

[Reena]

_1000 love letters to my lover Benton 

[Reena]

I love him wholeheartedly. 

 

[Reena]

The first time I saw you 

Was it love at first sight 

I really don't know 

I just knew my heart felt something 

It wasn't going to take too long 

For you to make that impact on me

That you have now. 

 

[Reena]

You are the only one who makes me happy. 

Truly and evermore. 

 

The best part would be to get a tactile feel of your skin.

I wanna breathe through your skin.

I want to feel like I'm coming home to you. Just collapsing into your arms.

My love for you should rejuvenate.. 

I remember your red shirt. 

You are in my heart and you are not going away no matter what. 

I belong to you and only you. 

You have my heart. 

[Reena]

It's no secret that I think about you everyday. 

You are my heart. 

Why am I filled with so much love for you? 

I love you to death. Literally. 

Wish I could smell you. 

I love you infinitely and more.

 

[Reena]

I can't explain this. I can't explain my feelings. If only you knew. Maybe some day you understand. It wasn't for nothing. I felt strong for you. You're the only man I truly love. You are the only one I gave my heart to. 

Sometimes everything just passes by like a blur. I cannot understand. In your eyes I see an ocean of my own love. 

I don't think I can live without you Jim. 

This is so ridiculous that I want to say so many things to you but I never will be. These messages might never reach you. Maybe after my death. I never know. I feel weak. I might die suddenly. But I want you to know. That you're the only man I loved truly madly deeply. 

Till then my heart will always be waiting for you.

Its hard for me. 

My heart is an ocean. I never knew that I would fall in love with a man so badly. 

It's baffling. 

It will always be a mystery. 

 

Maybe I'm delusional. Maybe this is love

 

[Reena]

Maybe we never be one. 

But one day you see the love I have for you. 

And maybe it fulfills you in some way. 

I don't know what to do. 

[Reena]

Your emerald eyes. Your Alabaster skin. Your beautiful blonde hair. Your peach lips. 

I'm drowned in you. 

My dreamy eyes want you. If anything is beautiful, it's your heart.. 

[Reena]

Here is a person I'm absolutely riveted around, impossible to escape. 

I never met a man like you. I don't want it to be a different flavor. I'm absolutely besotted. And yes, peace would have been in being your wife. It's just this enormous peace that washes over me when I think of you. Everything negative escapes. 

I giggle like a child. I feel like a woman. 

Anything and everything you do to me. 

 

I so wish things were different. 

I so wish I was open about my feelings for you. 

I have no idea my passion could reach those heights. 

I have never felt this before. 

I have been vilified to no end for my desire and my manipulation. But there was nothing I could do. Nothing I could do. 

You can call me anything you want. But you drove me mad. Mad with passion. My mind is not like yours. My mind is passionate. 

Who did I fell in love with? 

You are the object of my desire. 

Not the imaginary lovers. Imaginary lovers can only support the mind so long. 

What we had was beautiful beyond belief and cursed at the same time. 

Do you feel my heart beat? 

Do you ever feel how I felt? 

 

It's one thing to materialize dreams but it's another to have faith in them.

Alas you remained a beautiful dream I dream over and over. 

 

 

I always wanted a man like you. Opinionated, headstrong, true to his core, commanding, respectful of my opinion, challenging me without fear, owning me, wanting me to be better and deeply connecting to my heart, mind and body. You were so intimate sexually. You were so caring mentally. You were so perfect intellectually. 

 

I was in a whirlwind. A whirlwind love. 

 

There were so many things I couldn't say. You helped me get rid of the curse of Joseph. 

You helped me forget M.

[Reena]

I am happy for you if you are doing well in your life. 

Anyone would have advised me to stay away from you. Because you were being ruthless. 

I don't know why we are always attracted to things that are intense, things that are not normal. Maybe it's the bent of the mind. 

I don't want to be the stereotypical lifer who covers all the bases carefully and creates an enviable life plan, lives by a formula, does everything right and perfect, carefully creates the best life, yes it all looks fine and dandy but that's not what my heart wants. 

I wouldn't have been happy with a perfect life without an element of mystery. Just a mundane everyday unromantic existence with someone being my partner who I really lose feelings for over time. 

 

You have to remember I'm a woman. A man needs stimulation, a woman needs purpose. 

Men find women entertaining, engrossing, women want men who will be an anchor. 

I'm not a typical feminine. I'm an intense feminine. 

A typical feminine might be docile. I'm not. I like to be who I am without shame. 

[Reena]

I simply cannot live without you. Everything you do is sexual to me. Everything you do is deeply romantic and attractive. If you call this obsessesion then call it that. It's my passion for you. You make me crazy. You make me want you. If you wanna stalk me then stalk me,, I don't care. I have never wanted someone as much as I want you. Even you stalking me would turn into a delightful game, because in my book, you can never be wrong no matter what. I didn't know I would be so heady in love. 

[Reena]

I want to destroy myself in your love. 

 

I am nothing without you. In loving you lies my happiness. 

[Reena]

I just love you like crazy. The moment I saw you, I felt like you're the one. You took my heart away. 

Take me somewhere, where I can forget the world and it's just me and you. 

[Reena]

Maybe I stayed a virgin for you my love. 

Sweetheart, on days like this I need you. 

Love me, give me attention.

[Reena]

I had the most turbulent relationship with you so far, Benton. 

I don't know what to say to you. I feel like If I begin to talk to you, it will never end. It will go into this never ending vastness of just talking to you. You have that impact on me. 

My only crime is that I desire you very deeply and immensely and till my dying breath I won't be able to prove to you how much I love you. Truly. And it's sad. You had a profound impact on me. I just don't know how to put it all in words. I'm deeply introverted. I'm also deeply in love with you to the point it hurts me like a knife cutting through me. You want everything to be public and I detest that a lot. I simply cannot have that because I'm just not ok with it. Not everything has to be public. They are not an arbiter of right or wrong. 

The only thing I know for certain is that I love you. 

[Reena]

I love you so much. When I think of you, the only word that comes to my mind is love. You are the best my love. 

[Reena]

What you did recently was hurtful. I understand why you did that. You have something with me. I don't like to attack you. I don't want to. Because I'm filled with immense guilt and sorrow if I do that. You're everything I ever wanted. And yet you are an elusive dream I keep chasing. A dream that will never come true. All you ever do is push me away. I don't know what you gain from it. You call me a psycho. 

You call me insane. 

Maybe I'm insanely in love with you. 

[Reena]

I think I need a different kind of a man. A man who deeply respects me. A man who is committed to me. And a man who also equally disrespects me. The disrespect is for creating sexual tension, like push pull thing.

I'm looking for purity of emotion.

[Reena]

Happy Birthday. 

Edited September 3, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

Nothing is more sexy than commitment.