Journal

[Kevin]

8 hours ago, Phil said:

If you’re tired of creating suffering and are looking for clarity on how it’s created, and that there is guidance for this, and how alignment resolves the suffering… 

 

Overwhelment is felt, but isn’t acknowledged. 

 

I’m feeling overwhelmed is about a second self. It’s like Jim’s feeling overwhelmed, or Jane’s feeling overwhelmed. The thought’s about someone else. 

Overwhelment is acknowledgment of an emotion which is directly felt. It’s how the thoughts feel. 

 

When there is acknowledgment of the emotions felt, there is clarity not only for the prior thoughts which led to overwhelment, but also about the forthcoming thoughts and why they feel ‘off’ too…

 

Frustration, irritation and impatience are felt, but aren’t acknowledged. 

Instead it’s believed there is another self, a knower, which knows there are things and that it is a thing, but a thing which doesn’t know some thing - how to accept and be with - things… and therefore must take Xanax. That is indeed confusing. The exhausting mental gymnastics of denial of emotions & aversion from emotions. 🫤

 

Pessimism is felt, but isn’t acknowledged. 

The separate self of thoughts is always believed to be in a past or future because it’s never present, because it’s thoughts not a second self. 

For the ‘separate self’ there are moments. 

Emotions can always be acknowledged, the clarity / guidance is always available, so there truly is no problem.

 

“Painful” is employed as not to acknowledge the emotions / guidance already felt. 

If the pessimism was acknowledged, it’d be revealed pessimism is how the thoughts feel. 

Pain is localized in the body. Suffering is not. 

The suffering is the discordant interpretations. 

 

That’s trying to bend the spoon. There aren’t two of you. 

What you are sure of, unequivocally, without any knowledge needed, is these emotions are felt…  and the guidance which dispels the suffering is ever-present, always available, what’s already felt. 

 

I feel like I. 

Not, two. 

 

Would you want to be with someone suppressing overwhelment, frustration, irritation, impatience and pessimism and blaming it on a second self?

In a relationship that translates to manipulation. That ‘second self’ would be you bruh!

Blaming how they feel on you, while overlooking what’s felt is emotions, how what they’re thinkin (so to speak) feels. 

But they would blame you for how they feel while claiming they’re “needy”. 

Neediness is emotional suppression.

People want to be wanted, not blamed for how you feel & needed to make you feel better. 

 

You’re expecting to get what you aren’t allowing yourself… and therein aren’t presently able to offer. 

 

Pinching yourself off so to speak, from ever-present guidance & emotion does feel like a splitting & conflict. It isn’t, but it feels like that. What it actually feels like is emotional guidance and reluctance to acknowledge it. 

 

The freeze is “I”m so afraid”, “I feel shame”…  these concepts are very discordant. 

 

Stop trying to get out; notice you’re already not in. 🤍

 

Hey so I wanna preface all this with that I’m trying to stop with the Xanax so I think I’m feeling withdrawals. Normally things don’t seem this bad. Last night I barely slept and when I did I had nightmares that my friends left me at a music festival and they didn’t care.

 

In response to all of what you said though, I gotta say I’m confused. I don’t know about this difference you mention between feeling and acknowledging. Cuz I sure as hell am feeling. I believe that I am feeling very intensely. The feeling is very intense and overwhelming and I want comfort but a pattern seems to be that when things get intense I become isolated.

 

It seems like your saying acknowledging the feelings is key, but I don’t know how to do that or how that is even different from simply feeling what I am feeling.

 

Also I don’t know how I am suppressing. I feel more sensitive and on edge than I have in a long time. I don’t think I am suppressing but I must be because things keep getting more intense and I want to keep taking Xanax. I guess taking Xanax is suppressing actually. Besides that though I don’t know how I am suppressing. Of course I’m not even doing it consciously. If it were clear and conscious I don’t think I would be doing it.

[Phil]

16 hours ago, Kevin said:

Hey so I wanna preface all this with that I’m trying to stop with the Xanax so I think I’m feeling withdrawals. Normally things don’t seem this bad. Last night I barely slept and when I did I had nightmares that my friends left me at a music festival and they didn’t care.

🙏🏼♥️

 

16 hours ago, Kevin said:

In response to all of what you said though, I gotta say I’m confused. I don’t know about this difference you mention between feeling and acknowledging.

The difference is acknowledging or not acknowledging emotions. 

 

16 hours ago, Kevin said:

Cuz I sure as hell am feeling.

Yes absolutely. 

 

16 hours ago, Kevin said:

I believe that I am feeling very intensely. The feeling is very intense and overwhelming and I want comfort but a pattern seems to be that when things get intense I become isolated.

Feeling is appearing as a body. In accordance with thought / belief, feeling is a separate isolated self - the body… or… a self inside of a body. It feels off to the truth, Feeling, which is infinite. 

 

One possibility is that the pattern is of thoughts about a separate finite self. One suggestion is instead acknowledging which emotion is felt. Emotions aren’t finite things. 

 

16 hours ago, Kevin said:

 

It seems like you’re saying acknowledging the feelings is key, but I don’t know how to do that or how that is even different from simply feeling what I am feeling.

There is nothing to be done with feeing, no work to do. Feeling is already perfection and never changes and can’t be changed. 

The suggestion is acknowledging emotions. 

 

16 hours ago, Kevin said:

 

Also I don’t know how I am suppressing. I feel more sensitive and on edge than I have in a long time. I don’t think I am suppressing but I must be because things keep getting more intense and I want to keep taking Xanax. I guess taking Xanax is suppressing actually. Besides that though I don’t know how I am suppressing. Of course I’m not even doing it consciously. If it were clear and conscious I don’t think I would be doing it.

Just to be really clear, I’m not suggesting there is a separate self which is thinking, doing, and therein suppressing. There is no fault whatsoever. Feeling is and always remains pure innocence. 

 

Some thoughts, when believed, seem to have a suppressive effect as it relates to Feeling. Thoughts like ‘I feel like’, ‘my feelings’, ‘how I feel’, etc, seem to claim feeling is a finite possession of a separate self. 

[Kevin]

On 8/3/2023 at 6:40 AM, Phil said:

🙏🏼♥️

 

The difference is acknowledging or not acknowledging emotions. 

 

Yes absolutely. 

 

Feeling is appearing as a body. In accordance with thought / belief, feeling is a separate isolated self - the body… or… a self inside of a body. It feels off to the truth, Feeling, which is infinite. 

 

One possibility is that the pattern is of thoughts about a separate finite self. One suggestion is instead acknowledging which emotion is felt. Emotions aren’t finite things. 

 

There is nothing to be done with feeing, no work to do. Feeling is already perfection and never changes and can’t be changed. 

The suggestion is acknowledging emotions. 

 

Just to be really clear, I’m not suggesting there is a separate self which is thinking, doing, and therein suppressing. There is no fault whatsoever. Feeling is and always remains pure innocence. 

 

Some thoughts, when believed, seem to have a suppressive effect as it relates to Feeling. Thoughts like ‘I feel like’, ‘my feelings’, ‘how I feel’, etc, seem to claim feeling is a finite possession of a separate self. 

Gotcha thanks Phil.