Inno

Frank Herbert's Dune books are quite good. I've read Dune and Dune Messiah, both books are freaking amazing. A great combination of desert landscape, ecology, religion, mysticism and politics. The second book is significantly different than the first one and weird at times, however the second half of the novel is fucking masterpiece imho. Also, if you haven't seen the movie- do yourself a favor.

Definitely a change of pace in the following seasons, however still good imho:) Although when I think about Tokyo Ghoul the first season comes to mind as the most memorable and iconic. I agree, definitely on the dark end of the spectrum:) Another anime comes to mind - Sword Art Online. For people like me, who spend a significant chunk of time in teenage years playing MMORPGs and gaming in general, this anime is pure gold.

Tokyo Ghoul is hell of an anime, highly recommend it.

@Phil Actually yes, quite a bit of insecurity arising regarding both individuality, as in finding my own way in life and being comfortable with who I am, and sexuality as well. My dating life is nonexistent for the past 6 months after a break-up. Last weekend I spent some time with a friend of mine, he was sharing his stories of the recent women he met, and I felt quite inadequate. I'm not sure what you mean by that. Do you mean allowing expression regarding my relationship with women and saying what I want to say in that respect or I'm misunderstanding? Physical activity comes to mind. I'm pushing through workouts, trying to stretch harder and it does not feel gentle at all. In general with regards to emotions and understanding myself, there is some sort of pressure as well. Not sure if that's connected though. @Mandy My diet is predominantly consisted of meat, fruit (apples, bananas, citrus, kiwis these days), dairy sometimes (yogurt in Bulgaria is quite engrained in our diet; parmesan cheese, white cheese), potatoes, roasted vegetables, bread sometimes. I work in an office and in the afternoon I snack with rice cakes and some vegan protein bar usually. I eat sweet in moderation- chocolate and honey. I'm not at all strict with my diet and I haven't introduced any changes to it recently. But again, I've been struggling with skin issues a lot of years prior to the one mentioned in OP. I'm thinking about doing an in-depth blood work to check hormones and food intolerances as well, but that would be in the next few months.

Hi everyone, I've been experiencing skin irritations and wounding in the past 2 weeks. I've seen a dermatologist, they think it's Seborrhoeic dermatitis (scalp) and some infection (face and hand). I've been prescribed corticosteroid ointments for local application. I have some irritation on my left cheek and towards the chin which has been quite persistent and noticed a small wound on my left hand which exponentially grew in the last couple of days, right above the knuckle on the pointer finger. Now I'm not sure whether there is a specific reason for the irritation and wounding to appear on the exact spots, however I have a hunch on the wounding on the hand and I feel like it has to do with "pointing out" things and the wound being above the knuckle, something related to what is "behind" the pointing. I've had a realization with my psychoanalyst quite recently that I have an issue with specifying exactly what and who made me feel a certain way and I take the somewhat easier way of generalizing how and what should be done, rather than admitting that I, specifically, felt a certain way, in a certain situation, with a certain somebody. Anyways. Any correlation coming to mind?

I've recently spoke with a high-school friend of mine, who was into lucid dreaming, astral projection etc for quite some time now and it was the first time we actually went into details about his experiences. From what he shared he was able to "leave his body" and fly to different places in the world real time. He would be conscious of his body laying in bed, fly away, go visit some place, see actual people etc and then go back to find his body and return so to speak. That was quite fascinating to listen, he even mentioned that some people are meeting their "astral" partners in this plane and then find each other in the real world. He also shared with me a lot of his experiences with lucid dreaming. He told me about numerous stuff that actually happened in his dreams, had sex with amazing women, wild experiences, he was "building" stuff in a snap, flying, basically whatever you want. I recently saw an article of Tim Ferris' podcast where he shared how in his dreams he trained with John Smith - a wrestling legend who had like 80-0 domestic freestyle record and 100-5 international freestyle record. Tim's words: "The problem was, of course, that I was in New Hampshire at boarding school and had never met John Smith. I only trained with him 45-60 minutes per night while I was lucid dreaming. I went on to have my best career season, which culminated with a more than 20-0 record before the national championships…" I immediately thought about "utilizing" my sleep and doing something productive during that time. Since the major theme in my life now is healing and integrating those scattered pieces from the past I was thinking if it's actually possible to do something in that direction while lucidly dreaming? Like speak to a therapist, or "relive" in my mind's eye different experiences from my past and feel what I felt back then. Have anyone had such an experience? Would be interesting to share. Also if so, is there a specific way to induce such a lucid dreaming state and to guide or create a certain experience?

Didn't quite grasp the first part, sorry:) Can you really be aware of yourself as a subject? Once you are aware of something this automatically makes it the object. So any subject you are aware of is really an object of the subject/awareness. In that sense you are always the subject, which can't be an object of subject. The Knower that can not be known. Didn't meant that as a intellectual endeavor, but when I try to explain it I see how easy it is to get lost in thought and make is such, lol. @Forza21That's a beautiful poem right there. Tbh it looks like the end of inquiry for me as well. It feels like both are true. Kind of reminds me of the "Transcend and include" approach of Ken Wilber. Maybe one of the perspectives is nested in the other, dunno.

@Mandy Interesting etymological reference. It's strange that Awareness is aware of an object/its' contents/itself and at the same time not separate from them. I can't seem to wrap my head around that. It sort of reminds me of the alchemical Ouroboros symbol, the snake eating its' tail. Just my thought process here: If I/Awareness is aware of an object, it implies that there is a subject (awareness) and an object (what awareness is aware of). Anything I perceive is not me in the ultimate sense, is the conclusion I arrive at. Strangely enough, when checking in with direct experience, I literally can't find any separation between subject and object. Between Perceiver, Perceiving and Perceived. Which kind of closes the strange loop and leaves it open at the same time if that makes sense :D I was not concise in my wording here. What I meant is more of an association with what I've seen Phil explain, not that I know "why" per se. @Phil I'll read the article, thank you. Maybe you've already done your share explaining this:)

Diving straight in. When using the Neti-Neti buddhist approach, one realizes that anything that you can be conscious of is ultimately not "you". I am aware of (my) body, thus I am NOT the body. I am aware of sensation, thus I am NOT sensation. I am aware of (this) though, thus I am NOT (this) thought. I am aware of *whatever*, thus I am NOT *whatever*. Following the approach, we arrive at the knower, that can not be known. To the fire that can not burn itself. To the eye that can not see itself. However, and this is where my mind can't comprehend: When checking direct experience, there is no real separation between Seer, Seeing & Seen. No separation between Consciousness and the object of Consciousness. How can Consciousness (you) be Conscious of and at the same time One with and not separate? @Phil This sort of reminds me of you explanation of why Infinite can not know finite, however still a mindfuck.

When it comes to validity of language I wouldn't argue there is more valid language to another, however speaking of translating academic or spiritual work to another language it is indeed tricky. Ancient Chinese and Tao Te Ching comes to mind. In his book Tao: The Watercourse Way Alan Watts does a good job introducing how the Chinese language actually works and displays that is is actually not linear as most Western ones, but characters play the role more of a painting I'd say, or a symbol in the Jungian sense of the word. Languages do differ, though, and although I don't necessarily agree that each language had a completely distinct reality encoded within it, I'd say that there are more complex languages in terms of structure and more simple ones, and the more complex languages have the capacity to "fragment" or "cut" reality more precisely. For example, verbs in English do not have different forms, as opposed to Bulgarian for instance. For example: 1. I feel 2. You feel 3. He/She feels 1. We feel 2. You feel 3. They feel While in Bulgarian it looks like this: 1. Аз чувствам 2. Ти чувстваш 3. Той/Тя чувства 1. Ние чувстваме 2. Вие чувствате 3. Те чувстват So as you see, the latter verbs change when a different pronoun is being used in the sentence. I'd say that when it comes to "doing the work", this "finer fragmentation" of Reality, metaphorically speaking does actually reinforce a sense of separation from "other", Me vs. You, Me vs. Her, etc. @Phil Your reply was spot on, exactly what I had in mind starting this topic. I think that life-time-related, unprocessed periods of time do need to be expressed in the language they were actually experienced. What comes to mind is the Emotional Scale and the Dreamboard . I've translated all of the emotions on the scale to Bulgarian, as I really thought that some of the emotions listed in English do have different connotations and flavors compared to my native one. Same with the dreamboard, I've been writing everything in English, and when it comes to material things or possessions or experiences doesn't make much difference, I resonate quite better with Любов instead of Love for example:) Can you elaborate on that a bit, please. I'm not sure I understand exactly what you mean by that.

I've been raised in a non-English speaking country and the majority of material I've consumed throughout my life has been in English, especially when it comes to spirituality and personal development in general. I've been speaking and learning in English for the better part of my life and a significant portion of thoughts for example do indeed appear in English. I've been wondering lately, especially when it comes to expression, does it really matter what language one is using? In psychoanalysis they find it very important, at least from my understanding, that you try to understand things and relate and express using your "mother language" as this is the language you've grown into and kind of shaped you and the majority of childhood trauma is indeed from a period before learning another language. Thoughts?

@Phil no worries at all! I've had some time to reflect and reading through my entries in this topic I have a weird aftertaste so to speak. So just wanted to thank you and everybody that took their time to respond here and give a hand:) Just finished watching Groundhog day btw, no wonder why you promote the movie. (Except the guy is too named Phil, lol)

@PhilHonestly, when I'm at my lowest I can not identify the exact thoughts that feel discordant. It simply feels like a ball of negative energy is coming up and out and literally feels like it wants to be let go, purged, puked, idk. I experience severe headaches, it just drains my energy and I find it really difficult to focus, as everything feels forced. I'd say that the majority of discord is felt when thinking about a person and when thinking self-referential thoughts. Not much is felt when considering "past" and I think that most of the "past" is related to a person, myself and this emotional problem or situation that i have, which feels really discordant at times, to the point of helplessness. Forgiveness is something I find hard considering when feeling low. I'd say it feels a tiny tiny bit better. In terms of healing I think understanding comes first, way before forgiveness. Physical is a thought or a label, pointing towards a part of reality in order to draw a contrast between or differentiate from non-physical (i.e. my phone that I hold in my hand vs. thought). In the context of physical being a belief I see the pointing, as actually in direct experience there is no real separation between anything. Considering reality might be vibrational, what comes to mind is that my vibration or emotional state would be reflected upon reality as well. So I'd experience as I feel. So the most relevant thing would be indeed how I feel. (and sometimes I feel helpless to change that) The relevance in expressing helplessness... I've tried sitting with the feeling of helplessness and imagining a little child inside of me that I hold, care for, protect and it felt a bit better. My first reaction when thinking about expressing jealousy is that I'm skipping over and not giving attention to something that has to be seen. Might be overthinking the scale too though. Thank you. 🙏

@Aware Wolf I would not say it is severe, however it is uncomfortable. Enough to make it hard to focus. I'd say I have mixed feelings when this happens. On one hand it is interesting, as I feel like I'm letting go or detaching from a "hook" so to speak, but on the other hand it is uncomfortable. When I meditate I initially perform a whole body scan, followed by focus on the breath and "inner body" so to speak. I aim to sort of feel my whole body while meditating if that makes sense. Thanks for the suggestions, I'd give one of those a try. I'm not necessarily looking for a change, I simply find it a strange phenomenon that is new to me and wonder if there might be a reason behind it or if someone has experienced something similar :)

@Phil In the physical sense past trauma/life situations etc are not to be found, as they are not physical. They would be more of a psycho-emotional phenomenon, appearing as thoughts about a past situation that have happened, accompanied with a sharp feeling in the spectrum of fear, insecurity, worthlessness, helplessness. In some occasions I'd say that the thoughts are not about a specific situation (or at least I can't seem to find the specific thought that feels off) but rather a general sense. Same with the past 5-6 years. I understand that the only thing in terms of time is the Present moment, so the past is not something directly experienced, rather some thoughts about my past, life events, traumas etc.

@Phil I think so, yes. In order to feel great all the time I feel like I need to process all of my past emotional traumas\life situations. I feel like I've been dissociating from painful feelings, hurt, fear, insecurity etc for at least 5-6 years now. I need to understand how to deal with my emotions, how I'm keeping myself in the lower end of the scale. That's what comes to mind initially.

I was referring to the last comment I made and specifically to shadow work and the overall difference in the approach mentioned, one being focusing upon better feeling thoughts when a discordant one arises, the other one being inquiring into the thought and the life situation or segment it is part of. I'm asking all this because sometimes I am even afraid to think, as I'm feeling far from great and it feels like I'm disconnected from my life in general. Some days even thinking about everyday stuff feels hard and when I try to focus on something else it is quite difficult to be productive, to function properly, do my job, etc. On one hand I do realize that thought, no matter what it contains is just that, a thought, but on the other I feel like the content of the thought is important and that is the personal touch of life and is part of me that needs to be seen, heard and integrated. It feels like if I focus upon something else when a discordant thought arises I simply flee the scene so to speak and turn my back on a situation and a, figuratively speaking, less mature version of me, when it comes to past experiences. Now on your question, honestly, it's difficult to answer. What comes to mind is I want to make peace with my past and with the present. I want to cherish and be proud of my life, understand what happened in the past, process it emotionally and "get the gold" so to speak. I want a meaningful life where I don't feel helpless and weak and enjoy the ride. I guess it all boils down to feeling great though. Or feeling great while doing all this. 🙏

I've been experiencing something strange during meditation for the past few weeks. When I sit to meditate, a few minutes in as I settle in and the following happens: I feel like my usual POV (from my eyes so to speak and above my body) starts to shift or to move. It doesn't feel static anymore and it kind of start to float around, to move. It even makes me a bit dizzy with my eyes closed and a bit difficult to focus as well. Has anyone experienced something similar?

@MandyThank you for your response 🙏 Now to the question "Who is the you who can bypass?" I honestly think that this is the bypassing itself. I still have mixed feelings about all the nondual pointers and statements like "there is no one to bypass" or "There is no other me to be snuck upon", they just don't hit home yet, and even contribute to suppressing stuff rather than liberating, at least in my case. I'll give a personal example as it might make it more relatable: When for example I happen to think about time spent with the girl I've parted ways with, even a time when we had a great time, it immediately makes me feel something I can't even describe. I feel literally a gut punch, sort of a hole in my stomach and I immediately cease to think about that. Some combination of unworthiness, fear, insecurity. I was scrolling throught LinkedIn one day and saw the logo of the company she started working in a few months back and that pushed the same reaction, although it is quite a general association, isn't it? Now one approach would be when such a discordant thought arise to simply redirect my focus and think better feeling thoughts. The other would be to stay with the thought and the feeling and explore the situation and why it spurs the reaction it does. What comes to mind is shadow work. I've listened to an audio program by Robert Augustus Masters on the Shadow and the approach is similar- He guides you to imagine a situation where you felt a certain way, invite the feeling and give it space and welcome it, "Integrate it". Stop running away from it, stop disowning it but face it and accept it. I honestly want to move on, that's what I want. And I want to make sure that all of the situations in my life have been emotionally processed. So when I think back to what happened 10 years ago or 2 years ago I've made peace with it, gained the lesson and moved on. My fear hear is sacrificing the personal for the transpersonal if that makes sense. I do understand that my personal story is just that, a story, but if I haven't processed certain aspects of it and situations, I'm simply bypassing them by not caring about my life story because it's not spiritual or whatever. A couple of quotes come to mind: "One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious." -Carl Jung "He said, "How long will you boil in the fire?" I said "until I'm pure..."" - Rumi @PhilI'd really love to hear from you as well 🙏 Thank you:)

I've been feeling totally hopeless and powerless the past few days and writing that feels like an understatement, however something interesting happened. I really wanted to simply feel better, this state of mind is absolutely no joke and I felt powerless to change my condition and how I feel. I don't really care about the Path when in such an agony, I simply want to find a way to feel better, to understand what is going on and to make sense of my life and my world. I decided to smoke a bit yesterday evening and suddenly was brought to the Present moment. I didn't feel my usual emotional gutwrench of emotions i felt the days before, was kind of detached from my thoughts. I realized that everything that has been bugging me is just a thought story that takes my attention away from the fact of the eternal Now, however is something that I think I need to deal with in one way or another, so thus the question: When it comes to feeling and thought, my interpretation from what I've read on the website is that whenever I feel a discordant thought i should focus on something else. Now my question here is isnt that bypassing? Aren't I ignoring the exact thought that spurs that feeling? For example when yesterday when I was at my lowest I felt like my whole being was one big emotional wound and everything I thought about was dark and gloomy and helpless. So for example a thought about my situation in my job or about my ex instantly made me feel a gut punch and a hole in my stomach. In that case if I focus on something else I feel that this thought association doesn't resolve itself. Instead it just gets burried. I feel like all of those thoughts that invoke an emotional reaction should be faced and seen and then *somehow* let go or understood. And some thoughts may be single, some may be more like a complex of a situation that needs to be explored, given space and understood (again, no idea how to). I feel better today, spent the day in an environment where I would've been extremely nervous and self-absorbed yesterday and had a decent time. My only caution here is that I'm not sure if I'm actually connected to feeling or simply bypassing it and thus feeling the relief of the break I'm having of thinking those thoughts etc. Perspectives are appreciated 🙂