Inno

@Blessed2I've been seeing a psychoanalyst for the past few months and it's really difficult to open up. The same issue arises in my meetings with her as well, a lot of times I spend intellectualizing how I feel instead of directly expressing it. One of the main things is that all of how I feel really feels big and undifferentiated and I have hard time pointing as to which emotion I feel or how exactly. Sitting with the feeling though kind of "cracks" it I think and helps me digest it. Not much of a singer though, but it might be an interesting experiment. Hope my neighbors dont sleep lightly:) Thank you. @FaithThat is exactly what is happening imho. I spend more time thinking about how I feel and conceptualizing, rather than getting closer to the feeling. I still want to understand why I feel this way and as you say to recieve the messages they bring, however sometimes instead of actually feeling what I'm feeling I'm trying to rationalize feeling. For example with the example I gave, I've caught myself thinking stuff like "There is no one to have been left by her" or "My true nature is Love, so whatever happens I should be okay with it" or stuff in that nature, which clearly is not something I've yet realized and am just using spiritual ideas to escape the feeling. Very kind of you with the facebook post, it made me smile:) @Loop I kind of feel the same way. Sometimes it's easy to write about or talk about how I feel, however at times like when I wrote this post I feel like the emotions are too big and is really hard to find a thread and unwind this gigantic ball I feel. So in this case all I can do, at least what I've come to so far is to simply be present, focus on breathing and feeling and kind of transmute this energy without engaging in thought activity. Maybe my idea of understanding as to why I feel a certain way or what made me feel certain emotions is another hijacking of the thinking mind that results in intellectual endeavors instead of feeling directly. Guys, thank you all for your replies, I really appreciate it. Overall I'm feeling better. I've spend a few hours yesterday laying in my bed, focusing only on how I feel, mainly in the stomach and breathing from the belly. I've noticed how much my mind "sticks" to those emotions I feel and how much I believe them. It took me some effort to continually return my focus to feeling and breathing, but after a while I felt as feeling really is the "flow" of life and the only thing that gets me "out" of it is thought attachment and beliving those stories. I feel like focusing on Feeling is the right thing to do and really is the way, however I felt really overwhelmed as I've spent a lot of hours "feeling" and there is just so much in there. Today was a bit different as well, as I've noticed just how used I am to believing those thoughts and had to constantly remind myself to stay "afloat" and focus on breathing, not drowning in the emotions by believing the thoughts.

Hey, fellow people. Finally decided to create an account and actively participate in a community like this, so lets get this going:) The first things I would like to communicate and hear perspectives on is with regards to feeling, emotional suppression and difficulties expressing what's inside. I do understand that whatever is so to speak on the inside should be given voice, should be expressed, however I find it pretty difficult to do so. Long story short, I've been struggling with how I feel for the past at least 6 months, where I had very difficult days and I would say that almost every day since then has been quite heavy, where I feel absolutely terrible, and at the same time have no idea why. It's like a constant emotional baggage that I carry with me and it doesn't allow me to enjoy anything in life, regardless of what it is. I feel like I need to feel good, in order to enjoy anything, sort of making it another condition. I find it very difficult to understand what exactly am I feeling. I've been trying to journal using the emotional scale, however its almost impossible to pinpoint an emotion on the scale and express what comes to mind, as everything feels like one giant ball of heavy emotions and I cannot differentiate anything out of it. I think I have created some sort of intellectual space between what exactly I feel in the moment, the perspectives that come with the feeling and how I think I should be, behave, react, feel etc. I judge what I feel and every perspective that doesnt feel good as just that, perspective and kind of dismiss it, and I feel that I should be doing exactly the opposite- give it space and voice. I often feel bad, heavy, contracted and clogged and dont really know what to do. And I feel that these discordant perspectives and thoughts are coming up and I'm supposed to let them come out, but can't. Like I want to purge or vomit a bad meal, but it gets stuck. What comes to mind is the following: I've recently parted ways with a girl I was in relationship with, and at the beginning I was trying to look at the situation from the "higher" perspective i.e. neglect how I truly felt in the situation. And a couple of days ago I finally admitted that I actually miss her. I cried a bunch and felt as I've really struck a chord there and was able to let those perspectives and feelings out and the day after I felt amazing. However thats not the case now and literally a day or two later I still feel stuck and when I sit down to write I struggle to express how I feel. Strange situation to be in and I don't really know how to go about it. Perspectives on that would be highly appreciated. Thanks:)