So you don't have any income on your own but like to drink alcohol and indulge yourself into spirituality.On your spot I would leave spirituality all together and focusing on improving my life first.To be empty vessel that experiences life since there is no self is foolish way.
Are you keep drinking? Justification of non duality,never heard that before.There are meds that can help you with leaving that addiction behind.Best of luck.
Not so special there is another forum user with same illness as me.I don't find myself anything special.I discovered my Infinitude that's special for sure.
I still didn't manifested all that I want and I don't believe in manifesting at all.I believe I am God dreaming all this shit up without a meaning behind it all.So arrogant or humble doesn't matter to me.I am mostly humble but when I get stuff that I want I will be arrogant.