Eothasian

Mmmmmh, I have been having it couple times since last year. My spirit is awake but my body is asleep. I can rotate, but the body doesn't turn around and I can perceive what's in the room vividly, vibrationally. I say to myself "wake up, wake up, wake up" because it can feel a bit like a trap after some time.

Feels like freedom to express yourself and learn unhindered to me. I understand intellectually it should be me who is allowing it ultimately. But some part feels like waiting for others to wake up as themselves in me. And then when I see @Phil, I just don't feel engaging at all or that this were true.

You did ok and you found something out about yourself.

What pills? May it be some precursor to akathesia a common side effect of neuroleptics?

@Phil I see

Anything that comes up for you. That you would genuinely like to experience. Whether you see something someone do it or discover in yourself.

9 years vegan

Thank you.

Sounds good, but then what to put my awareness onto. I don't know how I could be simply aware unless through awareness of awareness?

I will try once again.

😂 I cannot take psychedelics atm because of the amount of pain I am in. Last time I did, I landed somewhere amplifying it. And Meditation is what I have been doing, which feels bone hard to get through to anything. And apparently, I am not doing it right.

What do you suggest as a direction to surrender the "me"?

Right. But what keeps me from it?

Usually this is how it goes. Put feeling or emotion more into awareness, put the intention and voice that told me to into awareness, put both opposing eachother into awareness, put the awareness of them two into awareness, put awareness of them 3 into awareness, that is the highest I could do. How can I improve? Also, alot of times, there is also some tune playing in my head, often I don't notice it but it's still there. Like a separate chamber in the mind and whenever I am too stressed out that comes forth more and more into awareness. Another thing. I am highly sensitive and I keep an imprint of other peoples feelings in me, the more I have to do with them, the more their psychology is imprinted into me and many aquaintances do not feel good in me. I have also problems unifying what is an imprint of others fully with myself, so it can easily become an annoyance and disharmonious inside me. I wanna find source and heal and have a stable basis to go to and come from.

🙂

Sorry, it was actually this video.

She says it in this interview: " when you think of your dog, think about it at home or it will get the feeling that it needs to go and find this other place to meet you there"

Right now I really don't feel so good, but I will write down the fragments I know. According to a friend who took a look at him in the astral plane, the leader is like a contagious virus full of dark entities to which he feeds the pains and traumas of others and the ones he causes and in return give those enities give him some understanding and a temporary feeling of being within light and they also feed him lies about being a king to keep him in the dark. Someone who said he was a former healer of him, to whom I went after to take some of the pain from me said, he knows people who want to kill him and that he has killed and damaged dozends people this way and that he bows to some entity called belial.

I don t know how else to put this in words, because people can't empathise, since they cannot imagine this to be reality. Months a ago I encountered a some sort of cult practicing black magic 24/7. I didn't know what they were up to until I angered the leader and got put into an vibrational state of trauma and pain until I almost black out. During that pain transmission I felt the leaders mind and saw he stopped only because he was doing it to himself and it got too much for him while he was transferring it somehow empathically onto me through forcing me to identify with him to some extend. Despite that his mind was the most manipulative you could ever see, no exaggeration. I wouldn't know how you could ever communicate with him like with a normal human. That was not the only negative thing, but that was when I decided to leave. Since then I have been working on healing, because my body was energetically in trauma and was creating paranoia to avoid another experience. I isolated myself and worked on unifying it with me. When I came somewhat out of the isolation, Yesterday, because of my healing, I got striked again. They did not only attack but over the course I was communicating with them previously, they manipulated my body to be able to do this without my defense and reach me easier. When it happens it is always when I sleep and the dreams that come with it are representative of it and very vivid. During sleep today, I was put into a black rage in my dream where I destroyed something good inside me and when I woke up, I felt like some string on my heart were cut and it was foul with darkness and I felt apathic. I was also losing energy trough my legs, sacral, solar and heart areas. And sleeping was exhausting. I felt getting weaker and weaker. Anyway, I am not the only one they did this too, some have even been driven into suicide. I know this sounds like an unbelieveable dark delusion to some, but that's what is. It is not "me" in the normal sense doing it or experiencing something because of something surpressed in my subconsciousness. However, they were able to do this, because I had unattended traumas and pains beforehand.