Someone here
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2 minutes ago, Orb said:
If you look around you'll see that nothing actually ends or dies, everything is recycled no matter what.
Yeah so after my corpse decay..it will get recycled in nature .turn into nutrients of the soil. Into plants and animals bodies. Then a sperm and an egg will meet ..and I will be born again?
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7 minutes ago, Indisguise said:
Death doesn't happen, dude.
What do you mean? Are you denying that some day in the future your body will stop functioning in the way we call death ?
5 minutes ago, Indisguise said:Why aren't you afraid of falling asleep at night? What's so bad about sleeping? And besides, does sleep even happen?
Sleep is not death .I'm not afraid of sleep because I know what sleep is and I know that I'm gonna wake up eventually. While death is completely unknown to me .so there's that.
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No matter how much I try to accept my own mortality. I can't. Even if death is a portal to a different dimension. I'm still funding inside of me tons of fear from the smell of death .
death is the ultimate fear of the finite mind. I know that Spiritual awakening is the solution, there's no another way around it.
The kicker is of course.. You have not the first clue what's going to happen after death.. The body seems to die. What goes on after that?.?? Nobody knows.
it depends of course on how does one die. Suffocating to death doesn't sound like a pleasant experience. Although you can die without any melodrama (like dying while sleeping).
But the moment of death..that one final moment is when the levels of fear reach infinity. This moment is what I'm terrified from to an unimaginable degree .
Appreciate any thoughts or perspectives on the subject .
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28 minutes ago, Phil said:
I would put meditation, expressive journaling, using the dreamboard and using the emotional scale first.
I would put the following things second:
-A relationship.
-Marriage.
-Family.
-Degree.
-Career.
-Well-being.
So I should focus on the foundations first before I let my mind wander into far lofty goals? I think yes ,I need some kind of basic daily routine that builds momentum and adds up after few years with great results. It's not a one night deal .its a life long investment and doing the right thing and living the right life .
My life rarely follows one straight road .it winds and twists and turns. Do i know where I'm headed? It's hard to be on the right path when im moving in different directions
Being open and honest about this from the beginning can help me avoid a lot of frustration down the road.
34 minutes ago, Phil said:Also, if I were in your shoes (now I can say this cause I’m talkin about myself here 🙂 ) I’d literally splash cold water on my face, do some jumping jacks, slap my own face a couple times - and do everything I possibly can to be wide open and receiving to hear what @Mandy is saying about focus. If you listen to the videos and do re-read this thread you might see just how much focus is going to un-wanted. If you see that, and that is frustrating - take pause - don’t ‘go there’ / ‘beat up on yourself’ - recognize that would be more of the same, more focus on un-wanted… because and only because - it doesn’t feel good, doesn’t resonate. If you see and realize that - you’ve struck gold. Real change has begun, because that acknowledgment is that of putting how you feeling, or simply - feeling - first. That is a game changer / life changing event. Not “big”, not “difficult”, but a major, major turning point, a change in orientation - the recognition of the truth of suffering. I’m sure you’re as busy as I am, but when you have some time, consider watching my previous videos. Not trying to pat myself on the back here, but there is a lot on that. It’s more or less the overall theme. Focus, ending suffering, healing & well being, and consciously
Got it .focus on what you do want and give zero importance to what I don't want . Simple but powerful and effective. Thanks phil😇
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@Orb personally I think it is damaging to every aspect of life. This is only coming from my own perspective, because it depends what you are living for and what motivates you to do it and the life style you want.
For me, it is caused me so much suffering in my teenage years. The Ego Indulgence, Selfishness, Shallowness, Negativity, Negative relationships with people, Un natural behavior, all the trickery, feminizing effects on me. Though, I heavily miss-used porn throughout my teenage years and masturbated to it 99% of days for like 5 years. I don't even think it's worth it to do it once.
It will seem great, everything your Ego wants. But the price to pay is not worth it, in my opinion, for matters of the heart and soul. -
8 minutes ago, Orb said:
@Someone here can agree with this, I'm jumping on the porn bandwagon bc I feel bad rn.
For a decade I've watched pornography since I was a kid, I think most guys had.
After 1 year of watching porn one day in school I had a breakdown where social anxiety began and I could feel like everyone was looking at my every move.
Before watching porn sure I had some hang ups here and there, but I was confident and felt decent most of the time.
My highschool/middleschool years were ruined bc of porn, I had extreme anxiety around girls because of it, the thought of having a girlfriend was so overwhelming I'd nearly vomit, I actually broke things off with a girl who was into me in high-school because it seemed impossible to cope with the anxiety.
A lot of grown ups who talk well about porn miss the fact that by the time internet porn came out, their brains were fully developed.
Us young guys watched porn when our brains were jello basically, that has a huge effect on us.
Some middle aged guy like Joe rogan can say porn is just fine because his brain was more than fully developed when he watched it.
I mean, are we seriously gonna ignore the potential brain trauma of seeing 100s of sexual encounters before your balls dropped?
It just isn't normal, you wouldn't show a kid 100s of real life sex scenarios, they just aren't wired for that yet it's unhealthy, what's the difference with videos?
Yeah man..
I watched it regularly for most of my life, because my friends did and everyone said it is normal.
Recently I began to notice how much it influences my thoughts for days after.
It is said that 'men think about sex every 7 seconds' or some bullshit like that. There's probably some truth to that, but actually they don't think about sex: they think about porn.
I noticed that if I didn't have this porn habit, I wouldn't have intrusive thoughts about sex either. And my dick worked fine when I needed it anyway. And what is the point of having sexual thoughts when no one's around and you're trying to get work done?
So for mental hygiene and to have better focus, I decided it's best to avoid regular porn use.
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11 minutes ago, Mandy said:
Have you decided to avoid them... (in favor of some more fulfilling use of your time), or are you addicted to them? I'm confused. Which is the focus on?
I don't eat eggs. I can give you all kinds of reasons for why eggs are horrible, inhumane, unhealthy, fifthly, disgusting, morally wrong, and can back up a lot of these arguments with science, but that doesn't change the fact that down the road are lots of happy people raising happy chickens, eating eggs and feeling good. Do I care about this? Do I feel like I'm missing out? Do I feel like I have an addiction to eggs? No. I enjoy the foods I do choose to eat.
In just three days you can clear your system of dependence on just about any habit or substance. Thoughts are another thing.
Yes I'm addicted to them .but I recently hit rock bottom. I decided to quit for good and never coming back to watching porn and masturbating . And yes it's in favor of getting good with dating real women and actually succeeding in my sexual life . I view watching porn as a failed sexual life .only real sex should be the goal . Like I said to @Phil my plan is to graduate university,get a job and marrying someone.
But back to porn ..Many young people see porn as a how-to manual, a source of ideas about the world of sex. Sadly porn sites do not come with warnings about risk or harm. They promote themselves as an endless supply of pleasure and entertainment. Like all potentially addictive substances and behaviours, porn can cause serious changes to the brain over time and encourage behaviours that harm other parts of the body. It can also lead to erectile dysfunction In men. That's just one such example that is becoming increasingly common today.
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33 minutes ago, Phil said:
What is it you do want? If you take into account all of what you just said, which is a lot of what you don’t want… what does the rephrasing look like when it is only of what you do want
39 minutes ago, Phil said:What I'm really looking for is a deep intimate connection with a woman. Im looking for love basically (conditional this time, ). I want a relationship to satisfy me Both sexually and emotionally. That's what I'm looking for in watching porn but obviously it doesn't work because porn is fake.
I'm pretty sexually hyper person .I get horny so easily . I'm kinda addicted to masturbation and watching porn. But I have decided..enough is enough . I need to get off my ass and stop doing lame ass beta lazy shit and get my life together.
I want to marry . To satisfy my sexual cravings and also my emotional craving to own a house and have a family .you know raising kids and all that. Now I'm not graduating university less than 5 years .. But I'm in fact looking for a job while completing my uni degree .
36 minutes ago, Phil said:Thanks. You’re inspiring to me. I mean that only in the best sense and hope you receive it that way.
Back at ya . I really am in love with the core of your teachings (meditation, dreamboarding, moving up the emotional scale etc). And you actually "sound " like a nice and sweet person. And it shows your desire to help others create the life they want. So thanks for everything you do 🤍
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53 minutes ago, Phil said:
What do you make of this:
The Four Noble Truths as outlined in 624 B.C. by The Buddha:
The truth of suffering.
The truth of the cause of suffering.
The truth of the end of suffering.
The truth of the path that frees us fromYeah these are the four noble truths in Buddhism . in Buddhism, desire and ignorance lie at the root of suffering. By desire, Buddhists refer to craving pleasure, material goods, and immortality, all of which are wants that can never be satisfied. As a result, desiring them can only bring suffering. But I think there is healthy desire ,genuine desire and unhealthy neurotic desire . The latter is what creates addiction. Fast food ,porn,smoking fall into this category. And I'm addicted to the three of them .
53 minutes ago, Phil said:What is it you actually do want?
Well I don't agree that one should always do what he wants. I mean look at the consequences of this mindset. What if what I want is to steal and rape and kill innocent people? Is it valid or ethical to act out those desires ?
In answering question tho..I do want to watch porn and fap off like there is no tomorrow. I do want to smoke cigarettes like there is no tomorrow. But I noticed that in the long term that these things are unhealthy. So how to reconcile that? Should you act out your desires even if they give you momentary fleeting pleasure and fuck you up in the long term ?
53 minutes ago, Phil said:Did you watch these two videos?
Nope .but I promise you will check them out .the Good thing about your videos is that they are relatively short and straight to the point .
53 minutes ago, Phil said:How are the ‘fundamentals’ suggested going?
Daily meditation. Everyday? How long? How it is going?
Expressive journaling? Everyday? How is it going?
Have you made a dreamboard? Do you look at it daily? Add to it often?
How many times a day do you pull out the emotional scale?
How is that going? What are you ‘finding’ so to speak?
I don't meditate often tbh .but I'm doing other spiritual practices. I do pray to God to show me the way every day.even though my faith in God got shaken recently due to intellectual reasons that I wont get into here .
I have a journal in the actualized forum talking about my current plan these days which is to finish my university degree ,get a job with a decent Salary and finding a girl to marry .
I don't have a dreamborad .but I type in my phone my goals and like I said to you before it helped me to achieve small goals in life like manifesting a new ipad lol but tbh I'm hesitant about the big goals in my life .
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@Mandy I'm not focusing on what I don't want . I have decided to avoid porn and masturbation for good .as they are definitely unhealthy for me . Maybe it can be healthy for other people. To each his own.
But I was sharing that scientifically there is enough data that porn is harmful .both for the producers ,the actors/actresses and especially the consumers.
I've watched interviews with a lot of retired workers in the industry reporting how it was overall a negative experience but anyways..... .. more for the consumers. The majority of the consumers of course are young males.. Young single males. And they don't know what they are getting themselves into .
The issue I see is it's so easy to become an addiction. Because it's extremely pleasant unlike video games or fast food. Especially for young boys with you know with an explosion of hormones during puberty age. the thing is.. exposure to porn results in dopamine spikes in the brains of the porn-users.. However.. after being exposed to many graphic images.. the brain becomes de-sensitised and unable to be satisfied by ordinary sexual encounters. now what is needed is sexually extreme experiences and hardcore pornography to become sexually aroused. You get how this works?
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@Blessed2 it becomes a problem when you try to have real sex with a real person. Because you are used to the hyper stimulation of porn ,you will not be able to perform well sexually and satisfy yourself and your partner.
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In the last few years there was a growing number of studies showing the "addictive" effects of porn on the male brain. It rewires the brain to be responsive to porn rather than real sex.. Lots of forums and support groups and websites (most famous YBOP) were spread on the web last five years filled with thousands of guys reporting how porn has negatively affected their sex lives and the tough addiction they are dealing with.
My own experience is I used to watch porn back in my teenage years (I guess every teen on the planet watches porn).. But I kinda outgrew it as I grew up. Nowadays I just buy quality porn from intimacy-like sex novels producing sites. Just watching here and there no big deal.
What's your experience with watching porn? Are you addicted? Do you feel it's positively influenced your sex life or negatively? Any possibile down sides ?I know you are married and have kids ..do you even use pornography?
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How would you describe a healthy sexual life ? Does it involve porn and masturbation? I'm asking because I'm noticing that my porn and masturbation habit have affected me in a rather negative way . Should you have casual sex with whoever you find available? Idk prostitutes and hookers etc or should you just commit to one partner and maybe even marry him/her to bond on a deeper level and also raising children and all that cool shit.
Let's talk about it .
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@Phil you always urge people to write down what they want out of life (their dreams, their goals ,their ambitious) on a dreamboard. I like this idea and it actually helped me to manifest micro things in my life . But I'm skeptical that this will work also for the big challenging goals like buying a house or getting married.
Also what about the stuff that i don't want in my life anymore. Should I make a list of the unwanted things in my life as well like the few things that I mentioned in OP?
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@Blessed2 but I don't have these things right now . There is a barrier of time and hard work . I can only have these things in the future, not in the now .
I believe if I let loose and just lose myself in the present moment, that I will never ever achieve something significant in my life . The problem is I misuse the present moment by engaging in short-term hits of dopamine,you know..stuff that gives you instant pleasure but fuck you up in the long term like smoking and watching porn and wasting a lot of time on online forum mentally masturbating about useless shit lol.
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So I need a fresh start in my life . I need to take shit seriously more . .basically I'm trying to get my shit together in life . Somethings need to change .
I need to quit :
Smoking.
Porn and masturbation.
Junk food .
Mental masturbation.
Procrastination.
University's new semester begins in mid June . My plan is to finish my business degree. Find a job so that I can afford myself buying a house and finding a girl to marry.
This will require time and effort and dedication. It's not a one night deal. Its a life long journey to my dream life.
One of my goals also to work out an build a strong body . I can't go to the gym for reasons I'm not going to mention here. But i have some basic equipments in the house so I can workout at home .
There isn't enough micro details to report everyday. To notice a macro significant change will require years of dedication and work towards the right thing and avoiding the bad stuff .
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6 minutes ago, Faith said:
Hey Anna what's poppin? 😁
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22 minutes ago, Phil said:
I was asked to leave & demoted for stating there aren’t separate selves (which avoid the truth) on a forum which openly promotes solipsism. Many untrue things were said about me, such as I am a neo advaita teacher, and that I contacted & recruited members, etc. I like participating in a forum, and so here we are. ‘Made up your mind’ isn’t quite accurate imo.
Yeah I saw what happened. Well it's such a shame that Leo asked you to leave .you were always trying to help people in every area in their life. While I myself did have some disagreement with you about the whole "no self" stuff .but generally speaking you are great teacher with so many valuable things to teach .
Has anyone told you lately that you’re great at what you do? Well, you are, and it’s appreciated!
It’s easy to see how much you care about the people you serve. I’m grateful to be one of them.
You go above and beyond daily. But here lately, you’ve been going above-er and beyond-er. Thank you!
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17 minutes ago, Orb said:
@Someone here I'm not sure honestly. From what I remember he banned people who were inviting forum members to this forum.
Oh I see.
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@Phil hi brother . I have few questions to begin with. Is there any chance you come back to the actualized forum as a member since you got demoted ? Or did you just make up your mind and you will not go back?
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@Orb is it true that Leo wants to ban anyone who join this forum from his forum?
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@Phil hey Phil..I'm someone here from actualized.org. I'm glad to join your forum. I wish to learn from your wisdom a lot.
God bless 🙏
I can't seem to overcome my fear of death
in The Path
Posted
Yeah it makes sense. We are eternal. We will always exist in one way or another .but as to what way exactly will we exist as after death of our current bodies is the unsettled mystery.
energy cannot be created nor destroyed. It simply changes states. The total amount of energy in an isolated system does not, cannot, change. And thanks to Einstein, we also know that matter and energy are two rungs on the same ladder.
The universe as a whole is closed. However, human bodies (and other ecosystems) are not closed .they're open systems. We exchange energy with our surroundings. We can gain energy (again, through chemical processes), and we can lose it (by expelling waste or emitting heat).
In death, the collection of atoms of which you are composed of (a universe within the universe) are repurposed. Those atoms and that energy, which originated during the Big Bang, will always be around. Therefore, your "light," that is, the essence of your energy not to be confused with your actual consciousness will continue to echo throughout space until the end of time. The only question as I said is I what form exactly?