bardh

Figure out how to switch to direct experience. The direct experience is like the attention that you practiced in meditation. Its a very natural capacity people have so don't overthink it too much. Test it here you should react the exact moment you see the color change if you react after you see the color then you are not reacting from attention or direct experience(these are just pointers there is not a name for it). https://humanbenchmark.com/tests/reactiontime Then you can choose to believe that what you really are is this thing but it is not mandatory for you to use this capacity. After you figure out how this thing (which i believe you should know already) is still the same mindful things.

What does spiritual bypassing for you?

@Anniecool post!

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I didn't know what to do with my time, so I checked out Leo Gura video. I watched only from these time stamps 1 hr 46 m to 1 hr 58 min. For my opinion he is speaking basic common knowledge bundled up with completely irrational thoughts. When I see the positive comments - it is actually weird how in 21 century people are this fucking stupid. Its 12 minutes go and watch it. He says and I try to quote him here: we are entangled in language and this presents an enormous epistemic challenge and then he says even metaphysical ones because metaphysic is tied with epistemology. Then he continue to say the problem with language it is that it is relative, even his notion of Jesus is different than everybody else. Literally every people in the planet has a different idea of what every word means...Then he ends up talking about how we can condition children to call everything energy and why do we think that wanting to fuck a goat is bad. He even says: your idea of the chicken is not the same as my idea of the chicken then the interviewer replies, man I really thought what a chicken is but i had no idea what you thought a chicken is. A chicken is 🐔pok pok, hellooo? He does not make any sense at all, and if I focus on the ideas that he is trying to get across some of them make sense to some degree. Still most of them super cheap epistemology. They interviewer said we need a new word for what Leo Gura calls love(infinite consciousness) but Leo Gura insist in calling everything love. This in itself is the fcking end of epistemology. What even worse is that I believe he truly beliefs he is on to something(w/e the saying is).

allahu akbar

@Phil @OrbUnderstanding directing experience as a pointing term is a big clarity thing for me. It makes a lot of sense! @orb I think this is what you mean with what is real and the "getting rid" of subject is still a reality represented in thought?(i butchered your comment a little bit sry :)) For me it boiled down to this clear understanding that direct experience is just a pointer which makes thought just thought. Thank you, thank you! @PhilThank you for the tip on being sincere and not serious. It was a big relief when I first read it. Also, I can see how emotion's change - not sure I still don't really know how to refer my emotions to the board. I should get better in time. This is hard to understand at first but I am noticing for example what I thought as numbness is just thought getting rid of the subject! I except not all my belief's to come out what I thought them to be.

To say what conscious is to me i would have to know what is conscious . Since no one knows what is conscious i dont really know what conscious is to me. What i thought it was is that: conscious is the knowing of things. This is close to the psychology definitions but actually is still a very incomplete and unused definition by conscious scientists. I am noticing that i dont know shit. However, your tip to focus on direct experience i think is legit. @Phil@Orbis direct experience, i am having this experience or this experience is happening? How can one get rid of the subject if the subject cannot be defined from direct experience.

@phil thank you for clarification. I am still am confused, overwhelmed, anxious, numb, unmotivated and depressed. I will not complain much longer and try to better understand you. I have couple more questions: Is direct experience a consistent phenomena? (Will the direct experience of reality be the same all the time upon transcending) How can I know what is me (doesn't this mean that i am not me?)? How does one get to situation were there is only direct experience but beliefs about it are not made? How can i disbelieve or believe (i feel this happens on its own for me)?

@orb Direct experience(consciousness) doesn't flicker?

Thank you for your response. I understand that I have not a full understanding of this idea and in discussing for sure I will be butchering some definitions. Also, obviously English is not my first language, but I will try my best to clarify myself. You are saying that there is just conscious and that's it. Not one person could be experienced without there being conscious thus they wouldn't exist? Not only conscious is the common denominator in all human experience but it is actually the totality of what they are? Just being conscious is a super casual experience and I agree when you mention the positive aspect's of life that are felt. To me this experience it also gives a super intact ownership to the ego and it makes it much more flexible and it does not feel defeated even if it loses something. This all, is just a recent experience that happened to me (2 days ago), I noticed that I was constantly putting a self into a bubble, then I would let go of that bubble and feel conscious of the bubble and sometimes I would be full immersed within this bubble(this gave me a certain control and precision). The problem with this was that I would do this when I felt anxious, afraid, triggered(this is what I mean with "dying") and so on, but what I failed to notice was that in present another self was being produced out of this anxiety triggers. Can i say there was a discord between self's? What I did is that I let go of the bubble and try to handle things from this self was constantly produced in real time. I got super happy because the world felt more alive and definitely a different aliveness not one that I can ever explain by a third person preceptive. And secondly, I think because it has become easier to handle the world. It affected my sleep but also I was super excited to wake up in the morning. I am of course speaking here some places from a direct experience, and others from a first person or a third person experiences(from this understanding a first person and third person experience is not the direct experience, is this right?). Is this experience smth similar to transcendence? This allowed me to perform also while I felt anxiety. Also, to get back on what I said earlier the victories and the loses empowered me similarly. I was able to remember what happened and I what I did so learning took place which in turn has increased my confidence. I feel I don't have to create a second identity to sort of cover my feeling's, only when I feel like doing it. This is not to say that bubbles have stopped to be produced but they are much less relevant. What about the reality outside of human experience? I went through the meditation, I have done smth similar before but i tried it again today, there is still in the start of the mediation a bubble that moves to the body part's to relax them or notice tension, and eventually this bubble is lost, I can feel the entire body simultaneously(directly) and have the experience that I mentioned above but less dramatically because of the relaxation, but then when I try to direct attention a bubble is formed. Also, very worth mentioning is that in my experience attention is never lost it just shifts. I have not checked the path overview but I will do it later.

I think that people who have a “higher amount”(or a stable amount:)) conscious can maintain focus for longer time and “die” less often. As a result they have a stronger sense of self, are less prone to manipulation or gas lighting and are much more effective in life. Additionally, a better understanding of reality(the relative reality) because of a better memory and for sure form higher “brain” capacity in time.

How do you expect to find the I? Because you said you cant find it. Other questions that popped up. I dont imagine the I. I can feel it - it is like part of my exp experience? For example, if I am feeling tired and there is a experience of the I being tired and it might come in different shapes or forms to you or others. Can I change the experience of I? Mby I think I can by shifting into oneness or allowing oneness inside the I but mby it changes by itself. The only thing i can do is to switch into oneness. But does that actually change the I? How do i get a complete understanding of the I? Why is there a division between the I the dream character the oneness in our exp? Can we maintain this devision or can we maintain the lack of division? Why is this relevant for the topic? To what extend is our introspective knowledge creating a system of beliefs? How consistent or true is this knowledge? If the I is appearing by itself and the oneness can appear on your own will. What is part of what? What is a dream character dreaming others? To me it seems just your normal self when you are not oneness. Unless you define it as dream character. Actually i would go further and say that my exp was that i was much more happy to be a dream character fussed with oneness so to say than to just be oneness. Things had much more personal meaning and exp was much personal.

Separation of mind or disassociation can happen regardless if you are being conscious or not. I notice that if i let go any idea or belief about myself, after couple of minutes, i get this feeling of my separate self moving on its own and feeling as a whole human being living in a alive world, and i feel more grounded on my physical body and connected to other people. Also, my voice is neither wrapped in robotic sounds nor wrapped into a mellow(feeling sound). Its much more natural so to say. Its a good spot to be but its hard to maintain. If i get trigger the separate self immediately separates into smaller parts and then start solving the situation from the smaller parts. I am still conscious of course - the amount that i can be which in both cases of feeling as a whole seperete self or a smaller separate self is the same. To better describe this feeling is like focus is more in my head versus the other which i feel my focus is resting and myself is moving by itself. In the case of getting triggered, i would start to compensate (but now in a conscious way :d), seek for help, try hard to control the situation or want to get overly attached emotionally. How it happens that i get trigger: someone says you are bullshit. Now the word bullshit triggers a part of me which i dont believe in but still runs and my conscious runs on it so to say. I get like frozen on a part for couple of minutes. My focus shifts from being around my self to a smaller part and it computes the things inside it. Why i mention this is because the conscious is still on but doesnt help anything - is indifferent to the separate self. This change makes me look wierd in other people and also my goals changes pretty quick. I believe i will figure it out - just sharing to past time.

@Newbie dude “Realizing” that you can be conscious of your self, others and your action can push you forward in the beginning. But over analyzing this experience is not so useful. Also, from my perspective this capacity varies between people but with practice you can get better at returning at staying conscious. (For sure you have friends or family who are more conscious and less conscious) Unconscious in this context means when you are not experiencing intentionality or deliberateness. This is being conscious of yourself. Conscious is “hooked”differently in different person and for most of the people they already know how to do it. Dont try to find it in experience, most probably you will just mess up yourself. For example, if you have played race cars games then you have noticed you tend to move the body similarly as you are moving the car, although you are using only your hands. Or if you are reading images, sounds , association pop up in present moment inside of you while you are reading. Being conscious of yourself happens similarly. (if you are looking to do some self improv and so on) You can also hook to the experience of yourself being conscious of itself and become mega conscious lul, or, experiencing conscious and so on. Many ways this can go wrong. Also, from the prespective of consciousness you are always unconscious or to say automatic. Because experience conscious doesnt feel like any other experience and so on and so on. The rest, is a hobby. I would say leave and never comeback to this topic :d. Or at least, you will do yourself a favor if you first understand why you are chasing such topic. I am stuck in this topic but i realize its useless. Respect, for the rest of the conscious community, afterall i will stick around.

Relationships are meant to be resolved by themselves(otherwise we would not reproduce) dont try too hard. Stay persistent and don't think too much when socializing.

What i would try to do is to notice when i am not conscious of loneliness. Meaning when i am not directly conscious of being alone or feeling loneliness. I can’t say that i am always conscious. For example, cravings can make me lose the direct conscious or my Self. But knowing that i am always conscious makes it easier to just be conscious again. Smth like this. :d I have not had the same experience so far, just sharing an idea.

Actually, i dont know when or how i started to believe that Self should be unconscious or not in the surface of consciousness. Well it turns out that the actual surface of consciousness Is the yes. The yes, Yes. The being conscious is what Self is. Experientially. Is a very unique feeling. I tell you.

@MandyEverything is utterly allowed and nothing is happening. Is this like a thought exercise? Or like a pointing ? I can understand it as both. @all The night i wrote this i felt that i didnt do smth right at the situation, in the morning i felt that it was just how it was suppose to happen. Pushing was not so much needed from me. I just disliked the outcome at the time. Anyhow, ty for your replies.

I will take an example to illustrate what I mean: If you are aware to the bubble that is forming when you try to let go of the bubble or be aware of the bubble or try to change the bubble or start believing the real you is outside of the bubble or that you can close the bubble or open the bubble. All are futile for feeling like yourself or feeling whole. Bubbles are constantly forming - when you try to pay attention, or trying to let go something, or directing your thought somewhere, or if a imagination comes(the bubble opens and the imagination comes), to put it generally the experience is wrapped in a bubble. But the thing is that this is futile because the bubble is created by itself and also dissolved by itself. This is like the mechanism of experience so to say. If we are aware on HOW WE EXPERIENCE(to put it generally, because i am only experienced my self this bubble mechanism ) then we create duality. We lose the completeness of our self. Things like going in circle happens or being stuck in karma and so on.

I notice that when i am not myself or focused i tend to “die” or shut down. This mostly happens if other friends use word to trigger me and then they take advantage. They might look like interested or loving but instead they are just trying to get to another person through you. Then they learn about you and shut you down when it is needed. From the perspective of non duality this type of personality that likes to shut down other people arises spontaneously when in high stakes situation. Actually at those situation, I become very good at it. Its like i am focused only one surviving. But many people are like this the entire time. What is your exp with this? Personally i have to remember every time to get back to myself or to focus in order to get back at them or just to survive. I feel i lose alot of power if i fully allow everything to happen. Mby its just because people are wired differently. I am not sure. Let me know what you think.

Yes, you are yourself. The "feeling" of being myself - just that. Solipsism or w/e disconnect exp will not feel good if lasts for a long time. You cannot create awareness, though we have an ability to create illusions and make them part of who we are. Like when you get tired you can feel the seperate self more strongly and it can comes in different shapes or w/e. With our practice we than try to make smth out of that and so on. But there is a way to get back: for me the best way to connect back is this "feeling" of being myself. Its not a feeling its just your Self.

@Faith I edited abit abit 🙂. I think it is more clear now. If I could stay myself all time I wouldn't have made so many mistakes. I am of course talking about the Self, which is <sensed> as being myself. There is a sense of ownership also mine-ness. To add just this and i wont write anymore 😄: the ego self can be <sensed> as Self also. We don't have to get rid of the ego self in order to feel as our Self.

Do you have the same experience? Just be yourself. The easiest way to notice that you are not yourself is when you <sense> in real time that you are the separate self. If it feels wrong, than you are not being yourself. If you are not <sensing> yourself, or more accurately just being yourself, (not sure which one is more accurate) then you are <disconnected>. Being yourself it is like learning a skill. All the separate self's are a <hyper conscious of yourself>. The mic has been dropped! 🙂