Why is it hard to be consistent with meditation?

[fopylo]

I find myself in phases many times:

A short phase of practicing meditation, and then a long break.

Sometimes the meditation phases are longer and more frequent depending on my will/desire at those times, how much I prioritize it.

But still, I am very likely to do some meditation and then quit for a few days/weeks.

I believe (or at least, want to believe) that it isn't only for me like that and that more people can find it relatable.

 

You've mentioned it in a similar way on your website, @Phil, I'll quote:

Quote

Deflection & projection, yet to be fully inspected & dispelled, persists, and the practice is adhered to, and abandoned, adhered to, and abandoned, adhered to, and abandoned.

 

The inspection of self referential thoughts is unappreciated, un-applied - and the practice is adhered to, and abandoned, adhered to, and abandoned, adhered to, and abandoned.

This is quoted from what you had to say about the 3rd ox herding picture. I believe I've already "gone through" (realized) the first 2 pictures, hence had started valuing more the practice/experience rather than believing I'm "getting there" by reading/listening.

And also, surprisingly you also started mentioning it starting from the 3rd picture and through every other following picture until you reach the 7th picture, which is after you've transcended 'other'. Seems like you've basically ended all suffering by the time you got to the 7th picture since you didn't write that you will still tend to adhere and abandon the practice, so like you finished the practice.

Anyways, this isn't even what I wanted to talk about really.

 

What I wanted to ask you is why do I keep adhering and abandoning the practice?

Look, not trying to be offensive but your advice on how to meditate (at least the way you're wording it) just isn't good/doing it for me. I've just suffered more. I still believe you're a cool guy and have a lot to share obviously.

I feel that Leo's video on how to meditate is really amazing, but I'm talking about the younger Leo, not the recent one.

 

Basically my motto/idea of meditation is just sit and do nothing/ don't do anything - which heavily stresses the not-trying, non-effort, which is still something I struggle with sometimes.

But why is it very hard sometimes? damn

Edited October 19, 2022 by fopylo

[Phil]

@fopylo

Give deflection & projection a google or youtube, and review the meditation technique. 

[fopylo]

Ok so I just did a 30 minute meditation of sitting and doing nothing and it wasn't that hard, well, because I'm tired and about to go to sleep so my mind was/is more calm.

49 minutes ago, fopylo said:

don't do anything - which heavily stresses the not-trying, non-effort

Not trying, non-effort can only occur when you're in alignment - feeling yourself, the flow. When you are Yourself there is no need for trying or effort, for anything you try and any effort you put is just effort in "pushing away" from Yourself. Being yourself is prioritizing and honing the feeling of honesty and authenticity, which are the root for moving towards feeling better/deeper into what you truly want. It is all subjective though, so to not craft ideas upon "feeling better/deeper"; relative to the moment, to the now.

[nurthur11]

27 minutes ago, fopylo said:

Ok so I just did a 30 minute meditation of sitting and doing nothing and it wasn't that hard, well, because I'm tired and about to go to sleep so my mind was/is more calm.

Not trying, non-effort can only occur when you're in alignment - feeling yourself, the flow. When you are Yourself there is no need for trying or effort, for anything you try and any effort you put is just effort in "pushing away" from Yourself. Being yourself is prioritizing and honing the feeling of honesty and authenticity, which are the root for moving towards feeling better/deeper into what you truly want. It is all subjective though, so to not craft ideas upon "feeling better/deeper"; relative to the moment, to the now.

If i go in flow - i will die in approx 15-20 min. Doesn’t matter if it is full flow or just frame to frame type of attention or energy, if you are performing it is best that you are in flow. This is like painless experience, control over what one is doing is effortless and so on - all the qualities thar we know are in awareness. Depends what activity you are doing - is much harder to flow in activities in which you dont know how to do because you will not be able awareness to take over and thus you will lose energy, forget to deal with a distraction. If you flow you will be doing one thing this doesnt mean that feel or know that your “attention is directed” over one thing in your experience it means that the you will “ deal “ the “entire experience” of what you are doing  is “inside” your “knowing” present moment. What i am trying to say is that there is no diving of attention. 
 

As much as you go into flow the easier the easier it gets even if you lose it for a short time. I have a very short attention span but once i understood the nature of attention/awareness it has become very easy to get into flow when doing some activity. I am not sure how to explain so it make sense. You have to know what awareness does. For example, the feeling awareness gives you a sense of relief, effortless, energy, presence those same people qualities will be in whatever form that attention will take. 
 

What i notice is that is it vert important once you “die” to not push yourself because you will overheat yourself. 
 

From this perspective is very hard to make the case that attention and the qualities of your thinking self or your ego are the same thing. They definitely can merge with each other. If attention or awareness energy dies your self will remain - less functional. 

[nurthur11]

30 min of flow for breathing would be a waste for energy for me.
 

Grounding(shikantaza) can be useful sometimes(definitely in the morning) and also thinking about priorities and life before reacting with emotions and sabotaging oneself. 

[fopylo]

Just had a nice 30 minute session (except back pain from the object I was leaning on).

I believe I was doing more of a self-inquiry style meditation. The purpose was 30 minutes of being me, or more like feeling I. This I that is conscious of everything, that feeling of focusing on what you want and going with that flow, of feeling in control and not excluding any feeling/thing your attention waves upon. It is about finding the You in every moment, whether I'm swallowing my saliva, whether I am thinking of plans, whether I have desires, whether I feel angry - There's always this true authentic expression that could be be-ing in every moment, a be-ing that feels like "this is Me" (the truth). This feeling is about connectedness and everything in your focus is one and whole. There are more paths to love/freedom than suffering - something I've understood in the session before that.

[fopylo]

Oh, and another cool thing I've learnt is that the feeling function is separate from the thought function, meaning they aren't really dependent one on another.

I could be basking in some emotion while having some sort of thought, still bask in that similar emotion (could be even slightly better) and then experience a world shifting thought so radically different like I just got thrown out of an airplane, but with a similar feeling. Feeling is constant while thoughts are moving worlds.