Alcohol, karma?

[Blessed2]

I was writing about my day and stuff and came across how I felt about alcohol and my drinking habits. I wrote:

 

" I feel anxious about drinking and am annoyed because I just don't feel good without it. It's so boring and uncomfortable to just spend this day and weekend without drinking. I want to drink, I have that desire, and it is hard to try not follow it, even though I know how bad I might feel tomorrow and how there might be anxiety. I would like to not want it, and I would like to feel good without it. Because everyone is saying that it's not good to drink and it's unhealthy, and it hurts your energies and spiritual growth etc. So that if I do it, it means that I'm still far off from wakin up and true happiness. That I'll need to do this many many times until it's 'out if my system'. "

 

I don't like the fact that these things just need to be burned through. I don't want the hungovers anymore. Would like to just feel good or even better without drinking already. I feel ashamed that I have this problem... No-one would take me seriously when I'm such a drinker. It's obviously an unhealthy habit, ego-stuff. And it obviously hurts my mental health and general mood etc. The effect on the next day's mood and mindset has become pretty clear lately.

 

All this, yet I'll probably go buy some wine soon. The thought of not drinking tonight, fighting the desire and compulsion, being bored and uninspired and stuck in these beliefs and thoughts feels quite horrible. Would be fun to have some way to cut it short right here and now and have an even better evening sober, but really can't believe that could happen. And really being quite stubborn about it too. Not being very open to try anything...

 

Really interested to hear your thoughts 🙂

[Mandy]

 

3 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

I don't like the fact that these things just need to be burned through.

You "don't like the fact" or you've found a belief that doesn't resonate? 

[Blessed2]

13 minutes ago, Mandy said:

 

You "don't like the fact" or you've found a belief that doesn't resonate? 

 

But it really seems like it is a fact.

 

It was the same with cannabis. I smoked almost every day for over a year until there was a really bad shroom trip, anxiety attacks, psych ward, antipsychotics. And then I quit, because had no more guts to smoke. Still don't, even though I want to do it every now and then.

From what I've gathered, all the saints and mystics kinda say that alcohol isn't good... That addictions are not good... That compulsions and looking good feeling from outside / substances isn't good. And eventually it will end... When the change is desired enough. You know? When the karma is burnt through. All the greatest saints and mystics I place my hopes and authority onto seem to say the same thing.

 

It's like the classic vice. You do it, it becomes a habit, and then karma bites you, and you're done with it. Movies and books and myths tell the same story.

[Mandy]

@Blessed2 No, that's more commonly reffered to as hitting rock bottom, it is not neccesary nor is it desirable, however even then, Grace is a matter of fact. 

[Lotus]

33 minutes ago, Mandy said:

Grace is a matter of fact

What does that mean?

[Phil]

The drinking is conditioning (total innocence), not karma. The karma of drinking is the hangover (cause & effect, that you kinda caused). It really is that simple & self evident.

 

It’s the conceptualizing and believing your concept is factual which unnecessarily complicates. It’s conceptualizing and then justifying & rationalizing the drinking. But there is no one you need to justify or rationalize to or for. Every saint is a sinner, and ever mystic is just some dude. 

 

The way to cut through the concepts and stories is always ‘returning to’ direct experience. 

You’re fine right now and you aren’t drinking. The anxiety & annoyance therefore isn’t from drinking. It’s from the conceptualizing, justifying & rationalizing. That’s what feels discordant. You don’t have to do or try anything to have fun, it’s a letting go of the concepts & beliefs as “facts”.  Letting go is really seeing the simplicity, that you made it up. Lightening up. 
 

What is it you want to be doing but won’t if you’re hungover? 

[Mandy]

@Lotus Basically, just that love is unconditional, Source never gives up on you. 

[Mandy]

The reason that we use the emotional scale, journal, meditate, eat healthy, exercise, is all to "get out ahead of it" as Abraham says so often. That you do not have to wait until emotional discord is too loud to ignore, but can begin to catch it as soon as something feels off, is such an amazing and empowering thing to realize. Hitting rock bottom/burning karma is not at all a necessity to feeling better. That's the good news. You only do so, drop the discordant thought, always and only right this instant. 

[Lotus]

@Mandy

 

Why then does it sometimes seem like that source has given up on you? Source proved me wrong many times, but still.

 

It probably comes down to beliefs. Only believing thoughts makes it seem like source has given up on you.

 

Why then does source allow us to believe thoughts in the first place?! I‘m probably selfish af to say this, but why not just the good stuff, source? 😂

[Mandy]

6 minutes ago, Lotus said:

Why then does source allow us to believe thoughts in the first place?!

You are unfettered and unconditional, as you are Source. 

7 minutes ago, Lotus said:

I‘m probably selfish af to say this, but why not just the good stuff, source? 😂

Are there two Sources, one of good and one of bad? 

[Lotus]

2 hours ago, Mandy said:

Are there two Sources, one of good and one of bad? 

There can only be one. One existence, one creation, one source. It would be a spiritually learned answer to say that One = Good. To stay truthful and honest, I gotta say that I don‘t know whether source is good or bad. I also don‘t know source. I only ‚know‘ that this is it, and that this is one, and that it‘s always now. 

[Blessed2]

@DMT Elf Really appreciate your answer. Thank you. 🙂

 

 

[Blessed2]

23 hours ago, Phil said:

The drinking is conditioning (total innocence)

 

What do you mean by 'conditioning'?

 

23 hours ago, Phil said:

The karma of drinking is the hangover (cause & effect, that you kinda caused). It really is that simple & self evident.

 

Yeah, sure, but what I have thought and believed is that the drinking, hangover, anxiety etc. is all the karma. It's not just the hangover that feels bad, it's also the desire and kinda knowing it's bad, but still drinking. I feel ashamed and anxious about it. I still do it, even though I believe it's not good for me. It's like a prison, a sickness, addiction, guilt, shame, fear. It feels horrible and would not wish it even upon the worst enemy. So why am I going through this?

 

23 hours ago, Phil said:

Every saint is a sinner, and ever mystic is just some dude. 

 

This gave me a good laugh but it's a bit hard to believe. I do place authority onto certain people. Not sure why. Maybe it gives a certain sense of security to believe there are 'perfect people', someone who can save me and make everything alright.

 

23 hours ago, Phil said:

What is it you want to be doing but won’t if you’re hungover? 

 

The thing is that there isn't anything really. 😕 There is not a lot of things I like to do. Maybe one or two come to mind, but they are things that doesn't happen every day or week. Most days are just boring.

 

[Phil]

50 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

What do you mean by 'conditioning'?

Unrelated to anything you’ve done. Discord felt of the inherited materialist’s paradigm. 

 

50 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

Yeah, sure, but what I have thought and believed is that the drinking, hangover, anxiety etc. is all the karma. It's not just the hangover that feels bad, it's also the desire and kinda knowing it's bad, but still drinking. I feel ashamed and anxious about it. I still do it, even though I believe it's not good for me. It's like a prison, a sickness, addiction, guilt, shame, fear. It feels horrible and would not wish it even upon the worst enemy.

So why am I going through this?

In mistaking conditioning for karma you’re essentially (mentally) isolating yourself,  and then guilting yourself, while in truth you’re absolutely innocent. 

 

50 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

This gave me a good laugh but it's a bit hard to believe. I do place authority onto certain people. Not sure why. Maybe it gives a certain sense of security to believe there are 'perfect people', someone who can save me and make everything alright.

That’s part of the conditioning. It’s essentially a convincing ‘Trust me’ (not how you feel about what I’m saying). 

Also completely innocent. People are very convincing about paradigms because they are very convinced by idealism.

 

1 hour ago, Blessed2 said:

The thing is that there isn't anything really. 😕 There is not a lot of things I like to do. Maybe one or two come to mind, but they are things that doesn't happen every day or week. Most days are just boring.

There is. What you don’t want is just getting the air time. That’ll change soon.