Blessed2 Posted September 8, 2022 Share Posted September 8, 2022 I was writing about my day and stuff and came across how I felt about alcohol and my drinking habits. I wrote: " I feel anxious about drinking and am annoyed because I just don't feel good without it. It's so boring and uncomfortable to just spend this day and weekend without drinking. I want to drink, I have that desire, and it is hard to try not follow it, even though I know how bad I might feel tomorrow and how there might be anxiety. I would like to not want it, and I would like to feel good without it. Because everyone is saying that it's not good to drink and it's unhealthy, and it hurts your energies and spiritual growth etc. So that if I do it, it means that I'm still far off from wakin up and true happiness. That I'll need to do this many many times until it's 'out if my system'. " I don't like the fact that these things just need to be burned through. I don't want the hungovers anymore. Would like to just feel good or even better without drinking already. I feel ashamed that I have this problem... No-one would take me seriously when I'm such a drinker. It's obviously an unhealthy habit, ego-stuff. And it obviously hurts my mental health and general mood etc. The effect on the next day's mood and mindset has become pretty clear lately. All this, yet I'll probably go buy some wine soon. The thought of not drinking tonight, fighting the desire and compulsion, being bored and uninspired and stuck in these beliefs and thoughts feels quite horrible. Would be fun to have some way to cut it short right here and now and have an even better evening sober, but really can't believe that could happen. And really being quite stubborn about it too. Not being very open to try anything... Really interested to hear your thoughts 🙂 Quote Mention Everyone is waiting for eternity but the Shaman asks: "how about today?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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