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How to express? Different ways to use the scale?


Blessed2
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I've mostly just written on my notetaking app.

 

I've also lately noticed that especially anger and frustration and blame is somehow easier and relieving to do at someone... Blame or even shout at someone. It actually feels quite good, in contrast to holding it in which I think I've been doing too much.

 

It would be quite impossible to get that kick out of writing into a notes app.

 

I'd like to find a better way to express. Writing isn't enough. It doesn't give relief, it doesn't empty.

 

Any ideas come to mind? Singing or playing music of course, but I'm not that good in it. I can't express with a guitar because I can't play it.

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Anything related with moving your body is great.

 

Btw, even if you suck at playing guitar, you can still totally express yourself on it if you want to. What counts is what you make out of what you have. Not the end result of it. It could be as minimal as just strumming one string of the guitar. Or using the guitar as a resonance body for percussions. Again, it's what you make out of what you have. The possibilities are limitless. 🙂

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Running, hitting a pillow or punching bag. Write while listening to music. Try out a totally different approach to how you typically write. Appreciate that you are already doing so anyway with the asking if this question, express your desire to express and the way will appear. 

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On 8/2/2022 at 12:59 PM, Blessed2 said:

I've mostly just written on my notetaking app.

 

I've also lately noticed that especially anger and frustration and blame is somehow easier and relieving to do at someone... Blame or even shout at someone. It actually feels quite good, in contrast to holding it in which I think I've been doing too much. It would be quite impossible to get that kick out of writing into a notes app.

Blaming, directing anger and or shouting at someone is ignore-ance. That kick comes around full circle, and will be what you’re writing about and trying to release and heal from. Do that in the writing and or a physical energetic activity like exercise, but not at someone. 

On 8/2/2022 at 12:59 PM, Blessed2 said:

I'd like to find a better way to express. Writing isn't enough. It doesn't give relief, it doesn't empty.

It does each time you finish the scale.  If I may… do what it takes.

 

If what it takes is admitting ‘to yourself’ that you’re stubborn, then just admit it. That way you move past it by the admittance in & of itself. If what it takes is admitting to yourself that acting out upon someone else is just staying in the same cycle or pattern of conditioning while what you actually want is to feel better, then just admitting that is relief and liberation already. 

 

If you are feeling anger & blame, worry actually feels better. Anger & blame involve the belief in assertion, that you aren’t in control of how you feel, and that the anger is because of someone or something, which you blame for how you feel. It’s good to express it, but upon someone is actually staying in the cycle while what you want is to feel better. Worry is slightly back in control. It’s worrying about what might happen, but it’s hanging onto the past or giving the past or someone else control of how you feel. 

 

Doubt feels better than worry because instead of worrying about what might happen - which is inherently focusing on what you don’t want to happen… there’s a pinch of focus on what you do want… and some doubt that it will or could happen. 

 

How you feel & how you interpret don’t change overnight. There’s momentum and it takes time. Disappointment will occur and can be embraced & expressed. It feels better because you’re more empowered, because you could not experience disappoint, if you weren’t in some way focused on what you want to focused on. 

 

Overwelment feels better than disappointment because change is happening. Expressing is a clearing out of the old, out of the body. It’s allowing a taking out of the ‘garbage’. It’s like you’ve been eating stuff that didn’t taste good to you and didn’t digest, when you barf it up, when it comes up and out, it doesn’t taste any better and it can be overwhelming. But it feels better to let it out than it does to keep eating it…

 

On 8/2/2022 at 12:59 PM, Blessed2 said:

 

Any ideas come to mind? Singing or playing music of course, but I'm not that good in it.

Feeling frustration, irritation, and impatience teaches you the value, harmony & worthwhileness of patience. Frustration, irritation and impatience are more bodily sensation… and feel better than overwhelment which is usually accompanied by spiraling, taking an a big discordant slice of time. “I can’t sit still” vs “F my life”. 

 

On 8/2/2022 at 12:59 PM, Blessed2 said:

I can't express with a guitar because I can't play it.

If everyone stayed in pessimism, no one would ever have learned how to play guitar. That you mention it means you like it. What if Hendrix settled at pessimism, and didn’t because of thoughts that he can’t because he hasn’t already? Google and learn three chords. A suggestion… G, D, and A. It won’t take long. Then play A, G, D. And D, A, G. 

 

The direct experience will shed more light on the pessimism, making it easier to recognize, making it easier to let go more swiftly when it arises. Momentum ensues, and it won’t be long until it doesn’t arise anymore. You’ll know from being patient that you can do anything you patiently put your mind to. It’ll change your entire outlook on life. 

 

And so on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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1 hour ago, Phil said:

Blaming, directing anger and or shouting at someone is ignore-ance. That kick comes around full circle, and will be what you’re writing about and trying to release and heal from. Do that in the writing and or a physical energetic activity like exercise, but not at someone. 

 

I have tried writing about anger and blame and frustration. I have tried punching pillows, or even kicking some beer cans or destroying a book.

 

But it just somehow feels a lot better when I finally just openly say how I feel, openly blame someone. Even though I know the things I say or blame about are ridiculous and obviously not someone elses fault. But it feels good, to at least blame, to be angry. To finally let myself to be the fool, to blame others for my problems. Maybe I've had a problem of feeling like shit and thinking it's not okay, I should do better than irrationally blaming and getting angry.

 

1 hour ago, Phil said:

It does each time you finish the scale.  If I may… do what it takes.

 

If what it takes is admitting ‘to yourself’ that you’re stubborn, then just admit it. That way you move past it by the admittance in & of itself. If what it takes is admitting to yourself that acting out upon someone else is just staying in the same cycle or pattern of conditioning while what you actually want is to feel better, then just admitting that is relief and liberation already. 

 

Not grasping what is being said here. Not feeling the message.

 

In fact, I'm feeling a bit resentful at you now. I did something differently. I haven't been angry or blamed anyone irrationally or had a fight in years. It felt good to do that. It felt refreshing. Why is feeling good a problem now? 😠

You're making me feel exactly the same soul-eating depression and worry and repression and fear and restrain and despair that is the freakin cycle and pattern I want to get out from. Getting angry is a new thing. Openly losing my shit and blaming others is a new thing for me, and it feels good. What's the problem? 😠

 

I was doing so much better and now I feel like shit again. 😡 !!?

 

And what "what it takes"...? I don't get what you mean. The admitting is not the problem. More like the fact that it takes like 5 hours to finish the scale, and probably even then I'll just be disappointed and frustrated so I'll be stuck writing the same things about feeling frustrated and disappointed.

 

1 hour ago, Phil said:

If you are feeling anger & blame, worry actually feels better. Anger & blame involve the belief in assertion, that you aren’t in control of how you feel, and that the anger is because of someone or something, which you blame for how you feel. It’s good to express it, but upon someone is actually staying in the cycle while what you want is to feel better. Worry is slightly back in control. It’s worrying about what might happen, but it’s hanging onto the past or giving the past or someone else control of how you feel. 

 

I don't know. I think worry actually feels worse. The blaming and getting angry actually feels like I am in control, that I have desires and finally I'm not keeping or taking in anything unhelpful or limiting, not holding back.

 

I'm worrying right now and it feels far worse than it felt to do the blaming and finally shouting at someone.

 

2 hours ago, Phil said:

Expressing is a clearing out of the old, out of the body. It’s allowing a taking out of the ‘garbage’. It’s like you’ve been eating stuff that didn’t taste good to you and didn’t digest, when you barf it up, when it comes up and out, it doesn’t taste any better and it can be overwhelming. But it feels better to let it out than it does to keep eating it…

 

Yes, I know what you mean and that's exactly what I'm looking for. But writing on a notepad "I feel angry" or "I feel frustrated because this scale doesn't work and my life is stuck in despair and suffering" doesn't do the trick. Having the fight though, did it. Better than a notepad, even better than a therapy session.

 

The emotional scale, at least done how I've done it up until now, hasn't been good enough. There must be a better way to do it. But really, how do you express boredom on a guitar?!? How do you express overwhelment in a poem?

 

The scale sounds good and all, and I would hope that it could be useful, but really just writing "I'm angry" and then "I'm discouraged" obviously isn't any useful... There is no emptying. Wtf should I write to empty out??

 

2 hours ago, Phil said:

If everyone stayed in pessimism, no one would ever have learned how to play guitar. That you mention it means you like it. What if Hendrix settled at pessimism, and didn’t because of thoughts that he can’t because he hasn’t already? Google and learn three chords. A suggestion… G, D, and A. It won’t take long. Then play A, G, D. And D, A, G. 

 

I kinda can play some already. I know the chords and stuff. Took classes as a kid. Funny enough, the teacher's name was Jimi.

 

But still, the problem is that playing G D A won't really empty anything... Each time I touch the instrument, I feel frustrated. Don't know how to express that. Makes me want to smash the guitar rather than play it.

 

It's just really hard to get to that barf up.

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10 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

 

I have tried writing about anger and blame and frustration. I have tried punching pillows, or even kicking some beer cans or destroying a book.

In the same way you didn’t try punching pillows or kicking beer cans or destroying a book… you actually did those things… 

You did express / write about anger, blame & frustration. 

But then did / expressed / addressed / gave attention to / shined the light of awareness on… is re-contextualized in hindsight as I tried / didn’t / not getting it. This is the separate self of thought, the discordant, untrue idea of who you are. 

So you feel a little better for the non-resistance, non-aversion of ‘looking at it’ / feeling what you’re feeling / expressing it / giving it attention… but then judge / rob yourself of keeping that good feeling going and finishing the scale. So a ‘next step’ would be to bring that very same attention / awareness to the arising thoughts / idea / the ‘separate self’. 

 

10 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

 

But it just somehow feels a lot better when I finally just openly say how I feel, openly blame someone. Even though I know the things I say or blame about are ridiculous and obviously not someone elses fault. But it feels good, to at least blame, to be angry. To finally let myself to be the fool, to blame others for my problems. Maybe I've had a problem of feeling like shit and thinking it's not okay, I should do better than irrationally blaming and getting angry.

- - It’s just a  habit you picked up (re-contextualizing yourself / aka aversion) to notice. It happens here again… good feeling thoughts; recognizing it feels good to let it go by expressing, and that it’s not actually anyone’s fault…

and then re-contextualizing what just felt good with judgment. 

 

10 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

Not grasping what is being said here. Not feeling the message.

 

In fact, I'm feeling a bit resentful at you now. I did something differently. I haven't been angry or blamed anyone irrationally or had a fight in years. It felt good to do that. It felt refreshing. Why is feeling good a problem now? 😠

You're making me feel exactly the same soul-eating depression and worry and repression and fear and restrain and despair that is the freakin cycle and pattern I want to get out from. Getting angry is a new thing. Openly losing my shit and blaming others is a new thing for me, and it feels good. What's the problem? 😠

 

I was doing so much better and now I feel like shit again. 😡 !!?

 

And what "what it takes"...? I don't get what you mean. The admitting is not the problem. More like the fact that it takes like 5 hours to finish the scale, and probably even then I'll just be disappointed and frustrated so I'll be stuck writing the same things about feeling frustrated and disappointed.

 

 

I don't know. I think worry actually feels worse. The blaming and getting angry actually feels like I am in control, that I have desires and finally I'm not keeping or taking in anything unhelpful or limiting, not holding back.

 

I'm worrying right now and it feels far worse than it felt to do the blaming and finally shouting at someone.

‘What it takes’ = Just noticing is enough. Judgement can not continue in the light of awareness, in putting how you feel first. When it is believed emotionally harming or hurting others feels good to you, when it wouldn’t feel good to you in the reverse situation, there is some denial, some not yet willing to ‘do what it takes’ (simply notice this = what it takes).  If not ready to see, that’s ok too. The best question to contemplate, what is arising here as most productive imo is why do you believe feeling good is a problem. Then if any hindsight re-contextualizing occurs as to whatever answers arise to contemplating that question… just notice the that it is happening. Then you won’t be captive to it - averting from feeling and seeing what is. Then it has no power anymore, and exactly what’s been wanted the whole time occurs… feeling-yourself. It will also then be seen much more simply & readily this is the same as not finishing the scale. The belief you don’t deserve to feel great doesn’t jive with that the person is apparent, and you are what great feeling actually is.  

 

10 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

 

 

Yes, I know what you mean and that's exactly what I'm looking for. But writing on a notepad "I feel angry" or "I feel frustrated because this scale doesn't work and my life is stuck in despair and suffering" doesn't do the trick. Having the fight though, did it. Better than a notepad, even better than a therapy session.

That would be expressing blame, blaming the scale, blaming whoever that was you scorned, blaming Phil, etc. The suggestion is not that of expressing about a separate self; I feel angry, I feel frustrated. The suggestion is expressing that these emotions are being experienced. I am experiencing anger, I am experiencing frustration.

 

There is heavy focus on separate selves. The ideal is the focus is only on expressing the experience of each emotion / that each is experienced.  The focus on separate selves instead of just expressing the emotion undermines the scale, and the relief & enlightenment along with it. The ‘I which tried’ arises, and can be noticed to be a thought. Sensation can be returned to with attention. Thoughts don’t have to be believed.  Thoughts can be, and are, experienced, like emotions.

10 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

 

The emotional scale, at least done how I've done it up until now, hasn't been good enough. There must be a better way to do it. But really, how do you express boredom on a guitar?!? How do you express overwhelment in a poem?

Not good enough is judgment. ‘What am I potentially missing here’ & asking more questions rather than blaming and judging is indicative of our true unconditional expansive nature for which judgement is not actually possible, and that is what you actually always want. 

 

10 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

The scale sounds good and all, and I would hope that it could be useful, but really just writing "I'm angry" and then "I'm discouraged" obviously isn't any useful... There is no emptying. Wtf should I write to empty out??

 

 

I kinda can play some already. I know the chords and stuff. Took classes as a kid. Funny enough, the teacher's name was Jimi.

 

But still, the problem is that playing G D A won't really empty anything... Each time I touch the instrument, I feel frustrated. Don't know how to express that. Makes me want to smash the guitar rather than play it.

 

It's just really hard to get to that barf up.

Awesome. 🙂

Let go of knowing it won’t, and it can.

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