I'm not a real human being

[howisitsoactivehere]

Every say is the same. Wake up, avoid my parents, eat peanut butter on toast at 12, go for a jog, drink orange juice, spend all day on my phone or staring at the ceiling, go for a walk, watch TV have dinner bedtime.

 

Now that I found out other people don't have their own consciousness and are characters in my dream I've lost the ambition to do anything. All my ambition before came from impressing my friends, making them laugh. I suffered for decades for others and now I find out it was all for nothing.

 

I'm not a real human being. The only people I feel love for in my life is my parents. And it's only because they look after me and help maintain my sanity, and add a little drama to my life. 

 

I recorded 2 videos yesterday and all I could think to talk about was how much I despise the non-dual community. I have no positive message to share with anyone. I respect Phil and Mandy because atleast their message has a light at the end of the tunnel, and they also give me good albeit confusing advice 😘

 

Idk what to do with myself

 

 

[Phil]

6 hours ago, howisitsoactivehere said:

Every say is the same. Wake up, avoid my parents, eat peanut butter on toast at 12, go for a jog, drink orange juice, spend all day on my phone or staring at the ceiling, go for a walk, watch TV have dinner bedtime.

Lot of beliefs happening here. There’s a very high probability there is also the belief anger isn’t experienced. Might sound like “I don’t really get angry”, or “I’m not really an angry person”.  But this is the experience of anger. Any creator which avoids love, doesn’t create a dreamboard, and doesn’t watch Groundhog’s day would feel the same. 

6 hours ago, howisitsoactivehere said:

 

Now that I found out other people don't have their own consciousness and are characters in my dream I've lost the ambition to do anything. All my ambition before came from impressing my friends, making them laugh. I suffered for decades for others and now I find out it was all for nothing.

That’s blame. (Other people). Ambition isn’t quite inspiration. 

6 hours ago, howisitsoactivehere said:

 

I'm not a real human being. The only people I feel love for in my life is my parents. And it's only because they look after me and help maintain my sanity, and add a little drama to my life. 

Notice you love them and avoid them. Write about that, allow clarity, inspiration will arise. 

6 hours ago, howisitsoactivehere said:

 

I recorded 2 videos yesterday and all I could think to talk about was how much I despise the non-dual community.

The emotional scale is clarifying. With just thinkin, not expressing, conflicts go unnoticed, like “other people don’t have their own consciousness and are characters in my dream… and I despise the nondual community”. Despise is a concept, like nondual community… not an emotion. Concepts suppress, emotions express. 

6 hours ago, howisitsoactivehere said:

I have no positive message to share with anyone. I respect Phil and Mandy because atleast their message has a light at the end of the tunnel, and they also give me good albeit confusing advice 😘

Use the scale. Not confusing at all. 😘 

6 hours ago, howisitsoactivehere said:

 

Idk what to do with myself

No one does. Create a dreamboard… and see. 

 

When you watch Groundhog’s day, pay close attention to how the first half is integral to the second. 

[howisitsoactivehere]

@Phil

Yeah I never show my anger, I internalize it. I hate showing it, I see it as a sign of weakness. Also my parents treat me like a little kid if I get angry.

 

Can I create a dreamboard on my phone? I find it so cringe that my parents will come in my room and see what's on my dreamboard

[Phil]

 

13 minutes ago, howisitsoactivehere said:

@Phil

Yeah I never show my anger, I internalize it. I hate showing it, I see it as a sign of weakness. Also my parents treat me like a little kid if I get angry.

Hate is an emotion you experience, you don’t actually hate. Anger is an emotion you experience, and thus isn’t yours and isn’t about you at all.  

 

13 minutes ago, howisitsoactivehere said:

 

Can I create a dreamboard on my phone? I find it so cringe that my parents will come in my room and see what's on my dreamboard

Worry is also an emotion, and worry for what other people think is unjustifiable, because you don’t know actually if anyone is thinking or experiencing thoughts. The belief that you do might be what feels off. 
 

🙂

[Mandy]

9 hours ago, howisitsoactivehere said:

I recorded 2 videos yesterday and all I could think to talk about was how much I despise the non-dual community. I have no positive message to share with anyone. I respect Phil and Mandy because atleast their message has a light at the end of the tunnel, and they also give me good albeit confusing advice 😘

Look at the picture on this video, the album art. What do you see?

 

You could see that it is a sun, creating the duality of color, the rainbow. The sun is the source of the color, the source of the light, the beginning of it. Or it could seem like the rainbow part is a road leading to the light at the end of the tunnel. Nonduality is basically saying both of these perspectives are because neither is the case. YOU are literally the source, and the destination. Nonduality (not two). Someone can say "there is no hope. There is no light at the end of the tunnel" to point you to the realization that YOU are the Light, you are the Source. here, now.  And because you are the light WITHIN the tunnel, there is light at the end of the tunnel, seen with the light of your own Awareness. 

 

The videos could be about anything you want. Talk to me for 5 minutes about how amazing peanut butter on toast is. I don't eat peanut butter or toast. Convince me. Talk to me about whatever you are passionate about, and if that's nothing take something mundane and make that hilarious, outrageous, interesting. For an example of how this sorta thing is done, give this blog a look through. http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/03/awkward-situation-survival-guide.html    http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html   http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/ The author uses sloppy paint program drawings to hilariously illustrate everyday stories or childhood stories. Her drawings are expressive and hilarious in spite of being so simple and sloppy. 

 

If this still seems uninspiring talk to me about how you have nothing to talk about, about how cringe and awkward it is. Turn the cringe and awkward into the charm and brilliance of those sloppy paint program illustrations in that blog. This is naturally done as we express ourselves, and expression becomes creative expression. 

 

Another example, this song... 

 

 

The illusion is that he is no longer lazy as soon as he expresses it, he WROTE and is SINGING a song about being lazy, doing nothing even the embarrassingly detailed "throw my hand in my pants" and this song is a wild success. 

 

When you no longer own cringe it fails to be cringe and becomes just awesome, refreshing, and funny AF. 

 

Now I dare you to be so ok with what you want and how you are that you put up a dreamboard and write "Boobs" on your dreamboard and put nipples in the center of the o's. Make this place your art. Draw on the walls. 

 

 

[howisitsoactivehere]

11 hours ago, Mandy said:

Now I dare you to be so ok with what you want and how you are that you put up a dreamboard and write "Boobs" on your dreamboard and put nipples in the center of the o's. Make this place your art. Draw on the walls. 

Hahaha. I dare you to make a non-duality video in a crowded subway 

[Mandy]

@howisitsoactivehere 😐😂 That could be really fun.

[Joseph Maynor]

On 6/19/2022 at 5:11 AM, howisitsoactivehere said:

Now that I found out other people don't have their own consciousness and are characters in my dream I've lost the ambition to do anything.

 

Who told you this?  Somebody sold you a bill of goods lol.

Edited February 16 by Joseph Maynor