MazE Posted June 16, 2022 Share Posted June 16, 2022 I just can't anymore. I mean i can but my apathy grows every day. I am becoming numb. It's not my desire to bring my baggage in here or in any community. But i'm fucking tired. I'm very angry and very apathetic at the same time. It's like i am receiving an uppercut every single day and all i can ever do is to be patient and push through. It's unfair. Actually i am proud of how good i managed to stay sane and well relatively to what i went through. I am in a cage. I try to escape only to find another cage. I don't accept this. 10 years of my life in the 🗑️ just because i was born poor. It's not that i didn't do my best. I accomplished stuff. A good paycheck is what i accomplished. The cost is my life. Believe me i can become rich. But of course i have a 1000 obstacles in front of me. For 1-2 years i need to stay concentrated while receiving uppercuts, learn and work on stuff, stay healthy, do stuff that are emotionally difficult and balance many things. I have family to worry about. Not my own family lol. 2022. If i was born 20 years earlier i would probably have this. People don't understand how good they have it. They have no idea what i went through. At the same time this is true for me too if i compare it with much worse situations. Honestly i don't know why i wrote this here. All i ever do is man up and be patient. For how long will i be able to continue doing this? I will either do what it takes which will be extremely difficult or i will accept the fate of a work slave. Better thoughts and living in the now are good. I understand. My reality is that i work to exhaustion every day. That i don't have a social life. That everyone around me is depressed. That i hate governments and how much they control my freedom. How can i stay focused in my vision with all that going on? Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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