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How to make big decision?


Forza21
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How to make big decision like leaving your partner after many years, changing job, move to other side of the world etc? Mind always has a million different scenarios.

 

For example, sometimes i really feel like i need to leave my current partner, after many, many years.

  I think this relation is over, i don't love her anymore. The other time, i want her to stay, and i think i might still love her, and our partnership might still workout. 

It's same with changing place, career etc. I feel like i need to change something, but after some time, there are thousand different thoughts, that it might all work out here, and i don't need to change anything, because it's all "inside me" anyway, and "outside"  circumstances doesn't matter.

 


i try to listen to emotions, but those changes too, according to different thoughts... 

 

i tried also to make a dream board, but I don't really know what I want.  There are time that i want something, but it might be just one day, and i don't really want it anymore... it's constantly changing, and i feel like bi-polar sometimes, lol.

So:
How to make big decisions?
How do you know, what you really want?

Any advice please? 

 

Edited by Forza21
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Move toward what you want, do not try to leave or rid yourself of what you do not want. If you are unhappy with your relationship, it's very likely that the discord of the thoughts themselves is getting projected upon the partner (that's the way she/he IS) , so you want to really listen to that before you try to escape it. If we do that we only attract more of the same from someone/somewhere else. 

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On 6/11/2022 at 9:32 PM, Forza21 said:

How do you know, what you really want?

 

Just start writing. Write authentically and honestly. You don't need to share your writing with anyone. It can be your personal honest + free expression.

 

Write about what you want, even if it's impossible. Write about what you want, even if it's immoral. You don't need to act on it. Just... Write. Allow what is inside to come to light. There will be clarity.

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Indecision & confusion transpires in thoughts, and certainty is found in feeling. What’s already been said is wonderful and clarifying. Expression, emptying, is the way. 

Clarity, peacefulness, certainty & feeling aren’t found in thoughts, but remains when unobscured by thoughts. Meditation is the way.

On 6/11/2022 at 2:32 PM, Forza21 said:

i tried also to make a dream board, but I don't really know what I want.  There are time that i want something, but it might be just one day, and i don't really want it anymore... it's constantly changing, and i feel like bi-polar sometimes, lol.

Allow it to be seen… the shift from ‘what I want’, to thoughts about “my self”, and tend to the healing. The emotional scale is the way. 

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On 6/11/2022 at 2:32 PM, Forza21 said:

sometimes i really feel like i need to leave my current partner, after many, many years.

  I think this relation is over, i don't love her anymore. The other time, i want her to stay, and i think i might still love her, and our partnership might still workout. 

 

Sounds like you're conflicted.

You can write out the pros and cons of leaving the relationship.

 

Imagine you are alone. What would that look like? Would you miss her?

 

Love changes over time, so is it "I love her, but I'm not in love with her" business?

 

The last thing I'd say is that counseling is an option. Prior to letting a relationship go that your not sure about. 

 

💙

 

You're a thought. Do you think a thought is going to occupy 'no thought'.

The 'changeless' can be realized only when the 
ever-changing thought-flow stops.

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On 6/11/2022 at 7:32 PM, Forza21 said:

How to make big decisions?
How do you know, what you really want?

Any advice please? 

 

When I get a big decision knocking on my door and I need to get in touch with my deep feelings, I find I need to get out of my normal routine and spend time by myself, going for a long walk in nature and letting my mind expand into the landscape and sky. It frees me from the everyday petty activities and their conditioned, narrow thought patterns and the feelings can come up into consciousness. It's as if the decisions are already taken, deep down, but I need to open up the choppy surface layers to see what's really going on for me. 

 

One time when I was stuck in a difficult situation with an ex, I took off for a fortnight to Wales, walking, hostelling and journalling, going through my whole life, giving myself permission to allow all the feelings to come up, and deciding how to come into alignment with them. It was a pivotal moment, my life changed direction from then, being in alignment with my feelings gave me the strength to go through with some big changes. I've always been a walker, but ever since then I've really appreciated the value of connecting with nature to find my own nature. 

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