Starlight Posted May 28, 2022 Share Posted May 28, 2022 This is going to be my expressing journal. I'll talk about what I want and how I feel. The point where I am at is quite rough. The last 3 weeks I've slept no more than 6 hours and most of the time around 2 hours and got some nightmares. I feel pretty stressed out and frightened. But now and then I can access the present moment and get some piece. :) i hope that emptying helps me relieve my buzzing head. I use this to remind myself of trying to be nice to myself like a friend and keep that attitude. Right now it's 10 pm and I noticed a negative expactation about this night and some fearful thoughts about this night arise. I'm worrying a bit if I can keep my live together if this continues because I have to use my brains for university and I feel a lack of energy or lethagic or even powerless. I have lots of work to do. It seems strange. For my state of mind I'm in, my life goes on quite well. This week I had a date which was quite nice and from which a friendship might arise. Then, during my yoga practice in the park, I met Yoga teacher and I'm going to meet her on monday. She seemed into me, but lets see how it's going to be. I see in myself the deep need for relationships with healthy people and also intimate relationships. I'm using the scale: And some more fearful thoughts. I'm afraid of this night. That I'll have nightmares about something bad that is out there to hurt me or that my thoughts are going to hurt me. I partially see it's a projection of this state but this is how it feels like. This makes me feel quite vulnerable and and I envy people with good heslthy sleep and less trouble in this area. I also envy people who enjoy their lives and have more comfort and health. It makes me angry to bear this fate. I have ptsd and a little disability and it sucks to be taken advantage of and let other people step over my boundaries. The wish to enforce my boundaries comes up and not letting me be pushed around comes up. I'd like to tell people how I feel and yell around. I acknowledge that all this fighting is tireing and I need a rest. It feels a bit discouraging. That's it for today. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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