Starlight

Today was a good day. I slept more than 6 hours and I was quite chilled. I feela bit disappointed because I watched shit on the internet that feels bad and sucks. It is annoying to feel the negativity from that and I feel impatience because I want to let that go. I feel frustrated from doing this again and deteriorating my mood. I also feel frustrated from being tired and doing things that don't feel good. I feel pessimistic about my sleep and doing negative things. I feel bored from this moment. I feel content from this moment. This gives rise to hope. I feel hopeful about my future, that it can change and that I can go to university and learn what is helpful and what isn't. This gives rise to optimism. I feel optimistic about my relationships. I switch to enthusiasm. I feel enthisiastic about the weekend and the visit tomorrow. I feel passionate about meditation and painting and want to paint a picture this weekend. I appreciate the people here and the opportunities here, I appreciate my friends and the visit at a garden today.

Today started with the feeling of despair because I hadn't slept the last few nights and I felt pissed off because of that and what a doctor said. But in the afternoon it was quite nice. I was outside with a wheelchair and did some activities and met with a friend and also my therapist went on a walk with me and pushed me around a bit. It was a nice day overall and I got some normality. I felt normal and had some fun and that felt really refreshing. I feel quite annoyed from the tiredness though. I can't wait to sleep again. I feel frustrated from not being able to sleep. I also feel frustrated from not getting what I want and not being able to walk around. I feel pessimistic about my future and my health condition and the sleep deprivation. I feel pessimistic about the time here in the clinic and that they can't help me. I feel pessimistic about my relationships and life in general. I feel bored by all of this pessimism and focussing on those thoughts. I feel content because I noticed it is the one thing I don't need anything to do to feel it and now I feel hopeful again and see that there is a way out and hope for the future and my health. There is better feeling available. That gives rise to the feeling of optimism, that the things are handlble. I can do things and have a normal life. That makes me feel happy. I feel happy to have such nice friends who come to visit me and have a nice talk. I feel happy about having time to meditate and nice company. I feel also happy that I met here a nice woman and she has good vibes. I feel happy that people are so nice and push me around in the wheel chair, especially my therapist. I feel eager to spent more time with this woman. I feel passionate for self inquirery and being in nature. I feel love for this day and I love this good friend who visited me today. I feel appreciation towards the people here around and the great work the people working here do, especially my therapist. I appreciate the nice weather, that I'm capable to feeling good. I appreciate the food here. I also appreciate nature and my painting skills.

I'm greatful for the nice people and the help I get. I appreciate that another patient pushed me in a wheelchair through half the town and that I did some ordinary care free activities. I appreciate the singing and the caring attitudes. I appreciate the company and the unterstanding I get and the openess of the people working here.

I haven't slept I've stopped taking the sleeping pills. So let's see how this night is going to be. The day itself was good though. I learnt a lot about stress and got a hot mat treatment for my back. In the afternoon we did a little trip to the botanical garden and after that a patient played songs on his guitar and we sang some songs. It was very nice. Now my knees hurt from the day. I hope it will improve more. I feel worried about it and I feel doubt wether it's gonna be alright till start of the new semester. I'm also uncertain if I'm will be mentally fit until then. I feel a bit disappointed about my state and how things are going. But there was also a moment where I could enjoy the moment and let it be alright. It feels frustrating to feel stuck and trying to change things and trying to get rest and clarity. I feel impatient because I want to feel better and enjoy my live more. It's annoying to be in a unclear state and forgetting things and feeling stressed out. I feel pessimistic when I look forward to the next few weeks and my life. I feel bored from doing and thinking all day the same stuff.

that's from friday. I understand today a bit more about the law of attraction. Today is feel ok. Stressed though and exhausted. I feel worried whether I should go home over the weekend or not and where I will be able to sleep better. At home or in hospital. I feel doubt about it is a good idea to sleep at home and take the long way through the cold and wether it's too late. I feel a bit disappointed from staying here all day long. I feel disappointed that I often don't do what I really want and that I don't give myself so rarely the love I want and peaceful attitude. I often feel annoyed by the way my mind works and it feels frustrating to fight myself to death. It feels frustrating that I don't make peace and forgive myself and others and let things be. I eel the inner urge to feel better and I think that by understanding and changing my attitude and stopping repressing my needs and concerns I will be able to feel better and sleep better. I have most time very discordant thoughts and so many of them that I don't even recognise it anymore as discordant. By changing my attitude in small ways I'm able to see it better. I feel slightly bored now. There is a slight bit of feeling contentment and I realise tat it feels unpleasent to focus on discordant thoughts and its acting on those what creates trouble. This gives rise to the feeling of hope that my situation is changable even though I have to deal with my injured knees for some time. I notice a slowly breaking out of this and it's imporant to give myself and others some kindness. I'm loking forward to tomorrow because I decided I will go home next morning and enjoy the day and learn more and practice more. I apreciate my friends and this place here and my family and our health care system.

Today was just boring and I spent most of the time watching different things on youtube and reading articles. I feel confused and tired and acted that way today. It's quite anoying and it makes me angry. I slept only 4 hours or so. I feel angry because I don't like this state and wasting my time. I want to enjoy life but am impaired. I also feel worried wether I'll be able to sleep this night. I avoided a lot today and now I see that it wasn't a good idea. I feel a bit helpless because now I have to face what I've been avoiding. There is a lot of disliking and I feel stressed out. Being in this situation feels really discouraging. I feel discouraged from having to face this every day. I blame the lack of sleep and the confusion for my suffering. I feel worried that this will ruin my life and I'll waste too much time. I feel also worried about my knees and that it takes such a long time to heal. I doubt that I'll be able to study this semester and that threatens many things and I doubt that I'll come out of this soon. I feel disappointed from life and myself. It's so damn overwhelming to have to go through all this stuff. It's frustrating to go through this day after day and not seeing any end. This unclarity is so annoying. I feel impatient to getting better. I feel very pessimistic right now. I notice the feeling of boredom.I feel bored from thinking this way. Ok I notice that I was focusing on those thoughts. I can't get to contentment though.

This day was mixed. I slept almost 6 hours and was for the most part of the day confused. In the evening I had a good talk and I watched the GoT prequel. I feel a bit angry because my knees hurt and they seem to make more trouble today. I feel worried about them and I doubt that they wil be fit again till start of university. The thought that thsi could happen makes me feel disappointed. It feels annoying to sit all day long with extended legs. I want it get better faster. I feel pesimistic about it. I feel bored by it. I come to this moment and feel content. That makes me feel hopeful for the future and my knees. I see again hope for my sleep and university and can do things. I appreciate the nice talks today and being here and this forum and that I started looking for therapists which I postponed a few weeks. Doing this give me the feeling of empowerment.

This day was mostly ok. I learnt a bit about acceptence and procrastination. I had some physical therapy but I think it made my knees worse. I feel totally tired. I noticed in interaction that I often don't do what I want and it makes me angry. Right now there is fear because of my knee and general situation. I have also some thoughts which I fear. I don't like them and feel powerless from them. There is also some dispair because I don't want my disability and now the knee prolems. It sucks and I hate it. I also hate it when I'm forcing myself to interact with others when I need time for myself. But I hate it when I'm alone with myself when I need company. I hate that I often don't comunicate things to other people and over burden myself. I hate it when I let myself be treated in ways I don't want to be treated and put up a lot of false smiles. I hate it to hide the anger but I see I as necessary for some harmony but I hate that, too. I hate pretending false interest in subjects I don't like or being troublesome for me. I hate my forced false niceness. I hate it when people are nice to me and I don't appreciate that. I feel angry because a friend made a bad joke about me. I feel angry because I can't walk around and have to sit the whole day. I wish I hadn't injured my knees. I feel angry because I don't want to have this situation, my disability and my emotional bagage. This makes me feel discouraged. I often feel discouraged from the fighting. I feel discouraged because it's so much effort and I feel so tired from the lack of sleep. I feel discouraged from having so many problems and fears and these bodily issues. I feel discouraged from the big quest of setting my life right. I also feel discouraged from my unmet expectations and that this down takes so long. It also feels discouraging seeing all these chaos in my mind and this state. I blame myself for not setting boundaries and doing things for short term relieve though harming in the long run. I blame myself for being falsely nice. I also blame myself for being too strict on myself. I blame my fellow patients here for being rude and being careless. I blame my injury for making me anxious and panicy. I blame the war and the polititians for fucking up the economy. I also blame the current economic system. I blame others for burden me. I blame myself for not taking better care of me. I worry about my future and my health. I am afraid that this knee situation has robbed me of my ways to cope and that it will take months to heal. I worry that I'm too fucked up for university and that I won't be able to concentrate nor learn. I feel worried that I won't be able to make my way to university and the stairs with the knee injury. I worry that I will make will make it worse when I try to get out of this situation. I feel worried that I don't get off of the sleeping pills. I feel worried about the economy and inflation. I worry what other people think of me. I doubt myself a lot. I doubt that I will get better. I doubt that I will be happy. I also doubt that I'll make friends here. I doubt my ability to set boundaries. I also doubt that I can endure the knee injury. I doubt that I will be fit for studying next months and well prepared. I also doubt that I will sleep well this night. I doubt that I will be able to relax. I feel disappointed from myself for not standing up for myself. I feel disappointed for not being mindful. I slao feel disappointed from this summer and life. I feel disappointed from the orhter patients here. I feel disappointed because I behave this way. I feel overwhelmed from all this negativity and pain. I feel overwhelmed from my feelings, the anger and anxiety. It frustrates me not getting rest I need and the acceptence I want. It irritates me that life doesn't go more accourding to my plans. I want to feel better and I feel impatient. It irritates me having to rest so much and not being able to do hobbies I like, I feel pessimistic about life in general and my future. I feel pessimistic about my knees and my disability and having to sit here. I also feel pessimistic about the clarity of my mind. I feel pessmistic about my goals and relationsships. I acknowloedge that I often have pessimistic thoughts and that I focus on them without even knowing. I feel bored from this moment. It bores me to repeat these negative thoughts. I come to this moment and feel alright again and there is some contentment with what is. I feel hope that I can get better. I feel hopeful that I my situation is gonna improve slowly and that I can handle this. Now I can look at it as a chance to grow and I realise that happiness is not a thought. I think I'll be able to make some friends here and connect to people and that my sleep will improve eventually. I feel eager to relax a bit and sleep. I'm eaer to sing tomoroow with some other patients. Live seems beautiful again. I enjoy the moment right now and feel happy. So I feel empowered to do things right now. I appreciate that another patient brought me some groceries from the store. That was really kind of him. I also appreciate the singing today. I appreciate this moment and the support system. I appreciate the general niceness of most people. I appreciate the help from other people. I feel freeer now to do things I want. I love music and playing instruments, I also love myself. I love my parents and friends. It's strange how the perspective can change so swift.

This day was mostly boring. But in the evening the underlying tension came up and I noticed that I suppress a lot and I'm in mental pai so it's time for emptying. So here we go. I feel powerless due to my situation. I fear that I'm going crazy from the lack of sleep and my hurt knees. I can't bend them and can only little walk. That makes me feel desperate and I see how much I suffer. It's almost unbearable. I feel trapped in this and that there is no way out. I also feel guilty because I unintentionally took some fruits from another patient and I'm afraid that she will hate me for it. I will settle this later but I feel very insecure because of this. and when I talk here with other people. I want them to like me. I feel also jealous of healthy people and my room mate who seems to connect with the others easily. I struggle with that because I'm too exhausted. I also envy the other patients for being able to go outside and doing activities I'd love to do too. I hate having to sit and rest my knees all day long. I hate this mental state and myself for doing mistakes. I hate life for being so hard on me. There is also a patient I hate as well. I hate my bad health and that I put the needs of other people before mine. But I hate most that other people might dislike or hate me. But on the other hand I hate putting so much effort into keeping myself in a good light. I hate it. I hate this whole thing. It makes me angry. I feel angry because this approach seems only to avoid conflicts but I still don't get what I want. I also feel angry because I take sleeping pills and they don't work and I'm not stable enough to drop them. I feel angry because I made my situation worse. I feel angry because I don't get the connection with other people which I want. I feel angry that I took that fruit and make a fuss about it. I also feel angry because I have these thoughts and know that they don't make sense but that's how I feel. I feel angry because I can't do activities with the rest of the group. It feels good to let the thoughts play out. I feel like wanting to get some revenge. There is so much more anger, but I'll move on to discouragement. I feel discouraged from all the fighting and set backs. I feel discouraged from how life turns out. It discourages me not being able to sleep and having to rely on sleeping pills. I feel discouraged from not being able to walk around. I feel discouraged from my inabilities and the challenges of life. it's so tiring to fight and keeping all that going. I'll blame life for that and my fellow patients for how I feel. I'll blame the nurse for being blunt. I blame this state. I worry about the opinions of my fellow patients and other people. I worry what tey might think and that they might dislike me. I feel worried because of the lack of sleep and I am afraid that it will destroy my future and carrer. I'm afraid that I won't be able to concentrate when university begins and also because I should start to learn but I can neither concentrate nor remember well right now and I feel like the time is running out. So I feel doubt that I can make it and live a happy and fullfilling life. I doubt myself and my decisions and that I take the right way. I also doubt that I can be liked when I' don't please people. I also doubt that my situation will be improved here. When I please people I often feel disappointed from myself and that it often doesn't work. I feel disapointed from live in general and myself. I feel disappointed because I can't do what I want and from all the supressing I often feel overwhelmed so I push it away. I feel super overwahelmed by this negativity and I feel frustrated from not getting what I want from live and not doing the things I like. It frustrates me to please other people because I put their feelings first and making my happiness dependend on them. It irritates me to focus on what others want and not what I do want. I feel negative from al this worrying and pessmistic thinking. I feel bored from this moment and I feel so tired. I notice that its negative thoughts I hold on to and they feel how they feel and now contentment arises. That gives rise to some hope that I can improve at least how I feel aaand it becomes obvious that I can always feel better. I feel optimistic about the future. That I will make friends. I also notice that it's nice coincident that my room mate is a former friend and it would be nice to be friends again. I will learn something here for sure and it will help one way or another. It's positive that I don't have some company and people to talk to here. I also have time to paint and play instruments. I feel happy to be here and be alive. I feel happy to be aware. So I feel empowered again to do things. I feel empowered to talk about issues. I appreciate this place here and the people around. I appreciate this day and that I learnt something. I also appreciate my roommate.

Oh sit. I went into extreme tension and anxiety this evening. I became mindful and saw that this level of stress geht interpreted trhough thoughts into feelings accourding to its intensity. I have also seen for a few minutes that this projection is keeping the stress up and when I see it it becomes less. I also saw that it doesn't make a difference if this a a positive thing or a negative in some way because it really depends on the level of thrill and it gets colored by the feeling and therefore there is no problem but thinking makes it so. So sit there for half an hour and disbelieved the thoughts and I started to relax a bit. It also seems that almost all of thinking is dependent of this thrill level and it is often just there in an implicit way. I also saw that the good depends of the bad. Even talking about it recreates the problem. The thing is just that I'm unaware of this most of the time, especially with this little sleep. I also notice that wanting to talk about this is believing in it and therefore keeping it alive.

Today I feel quite ok. I was in fear for a few hours because of my knee injury because it got irritated. therapies were good and I got good advice. I also got good news from my dentist, that an inflamation in a tooth root is healing. I'm also starting to notice that I put my happiness and especially my well being behind others and that sucks. I also put my wellbeing certain goals and I haven't seen the greater connection of it. It's like standing up for ones needs against the needs of other parts in me and others or expectation in general and general not so much taking care of my well being. I feel a bit angry realizing that I 've been constantly doing it. I feel angry about this and often when my knee hurts I first get fear up to panic and this turns easily into anger. All this fighting makes me feel discouraged and I want so rest from it. I blame partly me for this and that I didn't see it. I also blame people fr exploiting this and being the reason I'm in projects often overworked. I blame this charakteristik for holding me back in life. My health situation worries me very much and I lose precious time. I also worries me that I didn't get a better social network. I doubt to be physically be able to go to university in mid oktober. I feel disappointed from my beheaviour and I rest too little. I feel disappointed from not being able to sleep long and good.I also feel annoyed by my negativity. I feel irritated from my injury and want it to get better as fast as possible. I also feel sometimes annoyed from persons and I don't tell that or that I'd rather do something else. I notice that I feel pessimistic about my view on life. I also feel bored. Now the feeling of contentment arises. I feel content right ni´ow, sitting here and typing these words. This gives rise to hope, as the better feeling is seen. I hope that I will tho this exercise more often. I feel hope for the fututre and feel that change is possible. I feel optimistic that things can and will be better eventually. I feel happy to be here and eagerness for doing someting here with people and connecting a bit. I also looking forward to go to a ice garden around the corner and meditations tomorrow. It feels empowering to change your mood and seeing what I want, namely happiness, wellbeing, health. I appreciate the tea in front of me, all the people here, my family, my best friend and her baby, Today it was good to see that even though me knees are worse tody that I was able to go to the docotre and that I saw these traits in me.

I also saw a lot of hidden self pity which I project outwards. Right now I'm in a hospital because of my sleeping problems and I've also injured my knees at the monastry and it's hard to even walk and I can't bend my legs. That really sucks and I have no idea how I did that or I know. I have crossed my own limits and inert boundaries. I feel ashamed that I got into this situation and that deep. I feel guilty for letting this happen. Here the people treat me very benevolent and I mistake this for pity. I also feel unworthy of this nice treatment and I feel insecure. I feel jealous of other people who have it easier in live and have it made. I also envy people for their health. When I think about my physical state I feel rage and I hate it. I hate how I treat myself and I hate being afraid of all the shit. I hate that I get panic from my knee. I hate the threat it poses to my future and that it will take months or to get better and even a year. I hate the insecurity I'm in. I also feel hate towards this whole situation and the sleep deprivation which makes me act stupidly. I hate my current perspective. I also hate my false accomodating smiles and the disability. It makes me angry not being able to do things I like and want and not being able to walk. I feel angry that all the training I've done is undone within am few weeks rest. I feel angry about my disability and having to put up with it and comparing myself to others which puts me under pressure. I feel angry because I stand in my own way too much and can't let go of it. This whole situation feels so darn discouraging. It feels like fihting against wind mills and I blame myself for not being honest enough to myself and others. I also blame myself for not being assertive enough. I blame this situation and the long corridors in this hospital. I blame god and this guy who snorted last night. I blame the doctor who treated my knee when it got hurt the time before. My body worries me. I feel worried about my knees and feet and my whole body. I feel worried about my carrer and that I won't get out of this sh.t. I feel doubt wheter I will get out soon. I also feel doubt because I will look stupid for sharing this. I feel doubt that I will attain my goals and regain my mobility. I feel doubt wheter I can be with this fear. I feel really disappointed of this summer and myself. I feel disappointed because I got in this situation. I feel disappointed from live and the buddhist nun who meant me way out was through suffering. This situation feels quite overwhelming. I feel overwhelmed from it and it feels like too much. I'm running out of patience to get better and ok again. It feels so very frustrating to go through all that and not living and enjoying live. I want to enjoy live and let go of all this. I aknowledge that my perspective is very pessimistic. I have a very pessimistic outlook on live in general. But I don't know what to do about it. I feel a bit boredom. I come nto the now slowly and notice that it's about a future that doesn't exist. That gives rise to hope. I feel hope that it will change. I feel hopeful to sleep better this night. I expect to change for the better slowly. Even though it will be tough. I feel eger to socialise a bit here. I appreciate the help I get and the people around me. I also appreciate this forum here. Thx Nahm.

hey, it's been a long time since I last wrote an entry here. I'm planning to journal again regularly, starting today. The sleep problems kept coming and because of that I'm stationary right now, but on a therapeutical station, not the crisis intervention station. On the retreat a month ago I hurt me knees badly so I can barely walk and bend my knees. This will take quite some time to heal and after that happened I lost it a bit because I couldn't get sufficent food home so I had to ask friends to brings stuff around. At the monastry it became obvious how much I try to please others and project my expectations on them and then suffer from overwork or boundary-wise, I also saw how I cross my limits and then anger comes up. I also saw how in denial I'm of how bad my injuries are and that I don't acknowdledge it. more tomorrow...

I haven't written anything here for a while. Today the day itself was a good day. But right now I feel like shit. Today I met with a girl I was dating for a time and friends before that. I feel this deep love for her and to hold her in my arms felt so amazing and calming. But at the end of the day I told her my feelings and she changed and distanced herself from myself slightly. An hour ago she rejected me. I feel so sad, it breaks my heart and whats worse is that she is the type who won't reply or talk about it. It felt so good to hold her thought and to be myself. I'm in such a negative state right now and I feel so stressed out. I have slept so little this week and the exam wasn't that good. There is the possibility that I have messed it up. It's devastating how sad I feel. I hope that we will remain friends at least. I'm in this negative state and I attract these shitty results and I hate it and I don't know how to get out of this. When I get better I get into a cycle of bad beheaviors and get more sleep prolems and that leads me straight back to this. I've scheduled to spend the next week completely in a buddhist monastry near the mountains and hope to come down a bit at this positive place. I'm also looking for another orthopedist for second opinion. I feel super powerless because I feel stuck in this negativity and sleeplesnes. I feel very insecure that other people notice how I really feel and I'm trying o hide it. At the moment I feel insecure in general with my live and being with other people and I even feel hostile. I feel jealous about people who feel happy about their live and who have something going and aren't afraid and feel well. I envy people who have a loving relationship with a partner and this closeness, physical and emotional. I hate it. I feel hate towards people who see my state in public. I feel hate towards myself for being this way. I also hate the world for being this way and having so many grave obstacles and these mental and physical impairments. There is so much hate in my mind I think about destroying things and rage (only in thoughts). In my mind the whole world burns in revenge and I acknowledge revenge. I feel hurt by this girl today and I feel the urge to hurt her feelings for hurting mine. I feel angry about her for not talking about emotions and problems. I notice that I misinterpreted her beheavior today and that lead me into thinking that there would be a chance. I still feel angry about it and I feel angry about my state and that I have all these problems and can't sleep. I feel angry because I feel angry and can't think straight and I feel so restless. Being stuck feels extremely discouraging. I feel discouraged from the fighting and pain and feeling of alienation, I see so much to be fixed and this feels painful to think that way. I blame this girl today, the lack of sleep and my friends. I also blame the world, my doctor, my former therapist, the economy, and all my addictions and high expectations, I blame trhe lack of selflove and the negativity itself for this. I blame my upbringing, genetics. I also blame the upbringing of my parents and their's back to adam and eve and the big bang. I also blame this f. fish for coming on shore a few hundred million years ago. I blame all the wrong ideas I've acquired and civilization and this cartoon I watched when I was five and it said that doing a lot of healthy things was boring and there is a reason to resist that stuff. I blame the years of bullying in school and the people who told me I was stupid. I grab worrying and I feel worried because I have been writing here for an hour and it's time to sleep but I'm not done yet. I feel worried about the next week and that I get all the things done before I depart the day after tomorrow morning. I feel worried about my health and that I might not be able to sustain my live if I don't get enough rest. I feel worried about the economy and my carrier and that I won't be accepted if I showed my suffering to someone. I suffer a lot right now. I feel worried that Ieat enough because I simply forget. I feel doubt that I wont get out and waste more months and can't enjoy life. I feel doubt that I will sleep better this night. I feel doubt that I will be happy and live freely. I feel doubt that I will relax. I doubt that I can be so loving to myself as I was to her. It felt great to be loving. I feel disapppointed about myself and life. I feel disappointed because about being rejected and my expectations being shettered. I feel disappointed from this summer and being still stuck. Being that disappointed is extremely painful, it's almost overwhelming. I feel overwhelmed from the pain and sorrow. It's too much. It feels frustrating not getting what I want and to fight and to focus on the negative things. I feel frustrated from the discordent thoughts and not seeing anything else. I feel irritated from this and my day. I feel irritated from the thoughts. I want to feel betterand I'm getting a bit impatient. I acknowledge that I focus on discordent thoughts and nothing positive can come from them. I feel the pessimism and that is exactly how it feels like. I'm getting slowly back to the moment and I notice the feeling of boredom. I relax a bit and resist the impulse to disctract myself and notive, this is the key. Oh yeah, I remember it was just a thought construct and the feeling of contentment comes up. Right now I feel contentment with life and how it unfolds, that's so strange. I feel better and thus hopeful. I feel about my future and confident that this tool can help me out if I do it more consistently. I feel hope that with time I'll find the right relationship. I'd also had forgotten all the good stuff that happened like meeting new nice people, approaching a girl, becoming godfather and seeing this sweet boy. So I feel optimistic. I feel optimistic about the future and my path. I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I feel happy that I have such good friends who help me and I enjoy the time. I feel happy doing social activities and I feel eager to get more of this and develope intimate relationships of all kind, I feel eager to practice some music tomorrow to express myself. This feels empowering. It feels empwering to change how I feel and looking at live from another pov. I appreciate the time I've got, my friends and family, that I do activities, this day and water melone I got. I appreciate that I know better what I want. I feel better after writing this.

I appreciate this day, the kindness of others that makes me want to share, too. The good things of today were: University went quite well, studying better than expected, I chilled with my fellow students, I worled out, went to the temple, a gift from the monk, I got netflix, had a chat with my mom. I'm llooking forward for the next day