WhiteOwl Posted August 2 Share Posted August 2 How do you guys feel about eye contact? Is it enjoyable, do you think about it? I notice i focus a lot on it, as i might assume that not having firm eye contact is weak. I also don't want to stare people down, but that causes blinks that are thoughts about instead of natural. That eye contact shows strenght or weakness is probably not a prefered assumption to walk around with. What else could be in the way. What do you people experience? Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted August 3 Share Posted August 3 I have autism so eye contact is difficult for me. Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted August 3 Share Posted August 3 Is there a feeling of eye contact? Are the discomfort or comfort experienced actually seen, as in of or about perception, or more related to honesty (sincerity, authenticity, integrity, presence)? Strength or weakness as well. Are these actually seen? Which resonates, judgement or connection? Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteOwl Posted August 4 Author Share Posted August 4 21 hours ago, Phil said: Is there a feeling of eye contact? Not really. Is a wierd framing. More what comes up during eye contact. 21 hours ago, Phil said: Are the discomfort or comfort experienced actually seen, as in of or about perception, or more related to honesty (sincerity, authenticity, integrity, presence)? Not sure what you mean related to honesty, could you elaborate? Discomfort is felt. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 @WhiteOwl What’s coming up? Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 What’s coming up might be the catalyst of the discomfort mentioned, and honesty might reveal the untruth of that which is the discomfort. There is the potential for confusion and further discomfort of a framing of there being someone who is being honest or dishonest. It could be confusing in that the framing also doesn’t resonate. It reminds me of the analogy of how sledding from the top of a hill, the tendency is for the sled to go into the same old tracks, and that might be along the lines of the concept of shame & the inherent discord of the concept, vs new tracks in accordance with the clarity of direct experience. If I believe I have something which I don’t, and feeling tells me so, I might be concerned with whether this truth felt is seen or not by others. It could be triggering of beliefs along the lines of shame, and habits along the lines of self criticism. Whatcha think? Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 Different cultures have different ideas about eye contact. I think that we have a lot of ways of expression and communication and it's just one aspect. One way you might want to reframe it is to really listen to what others are saying, take in thier body language and make your intention more about good listening, awareness and communication rather than focusing too much on just the eye contact piece. That allows it to be natural and evolving as the moment calls for. Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted August 6 Share Posted August 6 If you wanna get radical with this… next time you take mushrooms set a timer for 15 minutes & just look in a mirror, and love. (Along the lines of…) ‘I love me’. ‘I love being me exactly as I am’. ‘I love this, and this and this, and every single detail - every seeming imperfection - I love’. ‘I love every ‘mistake’ I ever made’. ‘I love me even when I feel doubt or insecurity - I love me’. ‘I love my dreams, my ideas, my insights and my epiphanies’. ‘I love ‘where I’m at’, and I love that I love where I’m at’. ‘This is the feeling of eye contact, and I love it’. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteOwl Posted August 6 Author Share Posted August 6 4 hours ago, Phil said: If you wanna get radical with this… next time you take mushrooms set a timer for 15 minutes & just look in a mirror, and love. I love to get radical. I will try it out next time 🙂 Also got a question regarding doing shrooms with a women i recently met. I will write in my journal Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteOwl Posted August 6 Author Share Posted August 6 On 8/4/2024 at 6:36 PM, Mandy said: Different cultures have different ideas about eye contact. I think that we have a lot of ways of expression and communication and it's just one aspect. One way you might want to reframe it is to really listen to what others are saying, take in thier body language and make your intention more about good listening, awareness and communication rather than focusing too much on just the eye contact piece. That allows it to be natural and evolving as the moment calls for. I like that reframing. Would like to practice being a good listener more also Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteOwl Posted August 6 Author Share Posted August 6 On 8/3/2024 at 2:58 PM, Reena said: I have autism so eye contact is difficult for me. I work with people with autism, most of them don't mind eye contact at all. They seem like everyone else on that matter. I've never seen you question your beliefs, only continuously argue for your own limitation. Do you realize that believing such a statement makes it so in your experience? Its a victim role you are choosing Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted August 7 Share Posted August 7 3 hours ago, WhiteOwl said: I work with people with autism, most of them don't mind eye contact at all. They seem like everyone else on that matter. I've never seen you question your beliefs, only continuously argue for your own limitation. Do you realize that believing such a statement makes it so in your experience? Its a victim role you are choosing Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcel Posted August 7 Share Posted August 7 Depends on the person I speak / listen to. I tend to hold eye contact the whole time. It’s my way of showing that I am genuinely paying attention. But there are also people that I can barely hold eye contact with, which usually happens with someone who has more authority then me or higher ups, maybe that’s just insecurity on my part. I have never had someone tell me that they feel uncomfortable or stared at. Also the body language of people I talk to hints that they are comfortable with my eye contact. I guess people can pick up the intention you are looking at them with. It is out of respect and a desire to listen / understand in my case after all. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted August 7 Share Posted August 7 44 minutes ago, Marcel said: But there are also people that I can barely hold eye contact with, which usually happens with someone who has more authority then me or higher ups, maybe that’s just insecurity on my part This happens a lot with me too. Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteOwl Posted August 7 Author Share Posted August 7 9 hours ago, Reena said: Why are you using time on a self-realization forum? There must be tons of other places more aligned with what you want Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted August 7 Share Posted August 7 (edited) 24 minutes ago, WhiteOwl said: Why are you using time on a self-realization forum? There must be tons of other places more aligned with what you want I'm doing just fine. I'll stop answering your posts, no problem. Edited August 7 by Reena Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteOwl Posted August 7 Author Share Posted August 7 1 minute ago, Reena said: I don't know why you have a problem with me. I'm perfectly aligned with this forum. If I wasnt I would've been kicked out. No need to discourage me. I dont have a problem with you. I was asking why you are using a self-realization forum when you are clearly not interested in that at all? If you are on a forum for car mechanics and you keep talking about things that has nothing to do with cars, how would you think you are contributing to the forum? Believing you are an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues whos wierd and idiosyncratic, and using it as an excuse for behaviours like in this thread, has nothing to do with self-realization. Anyways, not my forum. Do as you please Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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