Kevin Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 (edited) So I went to Jiu Jitsu today. I went against a brown belt. For frame of reference the belt system goes white to blue to purple to brown to black. Basically I almost submitted the brown belt. He got pissed and ripped a knee bar submission so hard that I didn’t have time to tap. A knee bar is basically hyper extending the knee further than it’s supposed to go. My knee really hurts now and it feels weak when I put weight on it. Normal submission etiquette during training is that you hold the submission and then slowly apply pressure to give your opponent time to tap. I’m pretty fucking angry because he ripped it really hard and really quickly. I didn’t have time to tap at all. Now my knee hurts. I’m mostly very angry because I believe he only did it because he probably got angry that I kept almost submitting him. I’m a blue belt so there’s a big rank disparity. He’s supposed to be much more skilled. Basically I’m furious about it Edited July 23 by Kevin Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 Is that what he did considered mistreatment? Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted July 23 Author Share Posted July 23 2 minutes ago, Reena said: Is that what he did considered mistreatment? Yes most definitely mistreatment. I’ve been training over 3 years and I’ve never ripped a submission that hard or hurt anyone. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 Just now, Kevin said: Yes most definitely mistreatment. I’ve been training over 3 years and I’ve never ripped a submission that hard or hurt anyone. Then it should be reported to authority. Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted July 23 Author Share Posted July 23 52 minutes ago, Reena said: Then it should be reported to authority. Eh maybe but my mentality was just to be better than the guy so it doesn’t happen again. I’m already really close so it shouldn’t be to hard. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 https://www.etsy.com/listing/1083078663/the-roby-chart-11x17-poster-showing Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted July 24 Author Share Posted July 24 1 hour ago, Mandy said: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1083078663/the-roby-chart-11x17-poster-showing I’ve seen this before. Are you pointing towards the knee being a pride and ego thing like it says in the chart? Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted July 24 Share Posted July 24 @Kevin "Changing self image" The main theme with how it happened and the location of the knee is hierarchy. Are there beliefs about levels and standings that are disabling you? Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted July 24 Author Share Posted July 24 2 hours ago, Mandy said: @Kevin "Changing self image" The main theme with how it happened and the location of the knee is hierarchy. Are there beliefs about levels and standings that are disabling you? I’m not sure what you mean. I will say there is huge competitiveness in Jiu Jitsu. I’m always trying to win but idk if it’s bad because I don’t feel shitty about losing. I believe there are levels in terms of some people are better at Jiu Jitsu. But that motivates me to get better. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted July 24 Share Posted July 24 @Kevin I'm not familiar with the sport, can you explain more about why would your continually almost submitting to him would make him angry enough to go against his training and hurt you? Competition is fun, it adds a charge and a focus, a comradery and respect for others, is that your experience? Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted July 24 Author Share Posted July 24 6 hours ago, Mandy said: @Kevin I'm not familiar with the sport, can you explain more about why would your continually almost submitting to him would make him angry enough to go against his training and hurt you? Competition is fun, it adds a charge and a focus, a comradery and respect for others, is that your experience? I like competition and so against people that are better than me or close in skill I go 100%. In terms of why he would do that. I kept almost getting him in submission holds but I believe he was frustrated by that since he is a much higher belt level than I am. I shouldn’t be catching him. I believe this frustrated him. I can’t think of any other reason why he would rip the submission without giving me time to tap. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted July 24 Share Posted July 24 Exactly. Frustrated isn’t quite the same as frustration. Just sayin. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted July 24 Author Share Posted July 24 1 hour ago, Phil said: Exactly. Frustrated isn’t quite the same as frustration. Just sayin. What do you mean? Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted July 24 Share Posted July 24 @Kevin It’s like the universe is portraying a distinction you’re wanting to see. The experience denotes the difference between frustrated and frustration. On his behalf, if the interpretation of the emotion is ‘I’m frustrated’, the frustration plays out in actions & behaviors. If he interpreted the emotion as frustration, which isn’t really an interpretation at all and is an acknowledgement of an emotion, it wouldn’t have played out in his actions & behaviors. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted July 24 Author Share Posted July 24 (edited) 12 minutes ago, Phil said: @Kevin It’s like the universe is portraying a distinction you’re wanting to see. The experience denotes the difference between frustrated and frustration. On his behalf, if the interpretation of the emotion is ‘I’m frustrated’, the frustration plays out in actions & behaviors. If he interpreted the emotion as frustration, which isn’t really an interpretation at all and is an acknowledgement of an emotion, it wouldn’t have played out in his actions & behaviors. Ah this is very clear. And on my part, not acknowledging the guidance of anger and revenge turns into obsessive training and potentially turns into me rolling like an asshole with him and more potential injuries on both sides. Kind of a Jiu Jitsu arms race to get better and it could spiral. Edited July 24 by Kevin Clarity Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted July 24 Share Posted July 24 7 minutes ago, Kevin said: Ah this is very clear. And on my part, feeling anger and wanting revenge turns into obsessive training and potentially turns into me rolling like an asshole with him and more potential injuries on both sides. Kind of a Jiu Jitsu arms race to get better and it could spiral. 🎯 Absolutely. An experience of the emotions anger, frustration & revenge is different than being angry, frustrated and wanting revenge. Emotions felt presently, vs a thought story about a sep self in time. The freedom & liberation in the difference is the inclusion of or the absence of the ever-elusive separate self (of thoughts). The “one who’s angry, frustrated, wanting or seeking revenge”. No second / separate self, no belief loop… no perpetuated anger, frustration or revenge… is ‘more’ un-obscured happiness, love & peace. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted July 24 Author Share Posted July 24 3 hours ago, Phil said: 🎯 Absolutely. An experience of the emotions anger, frustration & revenge is different than being angry, frustrated and wanting revenge. Emotions felt presently, vs a thought story about a sep self in time. The freedom & liberation in the difference is the inclusion of or the absence of the ever-elusive separate self (of thoughts). The “one who’s angry, frustrated, wanting or seeking revenge”. No second / separate self, no belief loop… no perpetuated anger, frustration or revenge… is ‘more’ un-obscured happiness, love & peace. Ah I think I’m smelling what your putting down Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted July 25 Share Posted July 25 @Kevin If you’re smellin people is a belief, while love is reality, then indeed. That’s what she said works as well. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted July 25 Share Posted July 25 On emotional guidance… What is it you do want? That is unfolding. Why is the guidance of anger, frustration and perhaps unacknowledged doubt even experienced? Because what’s wanted is actually unfolding. Allow. Trust the guidance. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted July 25 Author Share Posted July 25 2 hours ago, Phil said: On emotional guidance… What is it you do want? That is unfolding. Why is the guidance of anger, frustration and perhaps unacknowledged doubt even experienced? Because what’s wanted is actually unfolding. Allow. Trust the guidance. I would say why these emotions are being experienced is because they haven’t been previously. Or they have somehow been rejected and not allowed. It seems like some times it’s been done so long that I even forget what the emotions are about or why I’m feeling it. For example, the topic I discussed on the last call we had about the resentment towards my mom. I didn’t even remember any of that or why there was always that tension felt around her until it came up during the call. The emotion was present whenever I thought of her or was around her but I’d completely forgotten why or what it was about. I believe that there are other topics where something similar is going on but I’m just not aware of what it is. 3 hours ago, Phil said: @Kevin If you’re smellin people is a belief, while love is reality, then indeed. That’s what she said works as well. lol this one is classic cryptic Phil. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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