Philosophy and getting laid

[Blessed2]

When I was a teenager, a belief formed that to attract an intimate or romantic partner requires for me to be a certain way, for me to be... Attractive. To be better than other guys.

 

A way to be better than other guys seemed to be like a philosopher. To be more intelligent, more insightful. To know and understand the most. To know what they don't know.

 

Didn't seem to work. In fact, it made me quite miserable.

 

When I see these guys constantly philosophize about everything, I can't help but wonder if they're in the same boat as I am.

 

Is this just projection?

 

Or is some (or most) philosophy really just a bunch of guys experiencing a belief that there is a shortage of intimate / romantic partners & satisfaction and trying to appear attractive enough with philosophy and intelligence?

 

What would you say to a guy experiencing something like this?

 

[Joseph Maynor]

I don’t think philosophy or philosophizing is all that attractive in a guy to most women.  Too serious and in the mind.  I wouldn’t think that philosophizing would help in that way, but I could be wrong.  The way young people philosophize is actually quite annoying.  I was there once too.  

[Phil]

Philosophy, spirituality & the scientific approach can be an inquiry into what is absolutely true, the truth of reality, the truth of self.

Fundementally, beliefs in / of the lens-sphere obscure and distort the experience of the world-sphere. 

Philosophy, spirituality and the scientific approach can be distorted through beliefs in / of the lens. 

[Mandy]

Most men that feel that way in the US just buy a bigger truck. 

 

Taylor Swift comes to mind and how she talked about how each album was a reaction to what people said about her in the last one, until she realized she could just do what she liked. As a teenager I plucked my eyebrows thin because I felt I lost the interest of the guy I liked and then I found out that he was dating a girl with the bushiest thickest eyebrows in the school. It's like I KNEW exactly what was going on so well I was aimed 180 degrees off. 😆The irony is trying to know everything so you can find someone who blows your mind is similarly hopelessly tragic, and more than that, just funny. 

 

Just do what you like. Even people who say and believe they don't find "someone like you" attractive (not my type), will because there is no physicality or the knowing of it. 

[Phil]

8 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

Is this just projection?

Yes, it is. Beliefs are only experienced directly. 

[Phil]

@Blessed2

How does the notion of focusing on genuine connection over projecting intellectual superiority for relationships resonate? If it does at all.