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Manic Highs After Unveilings


Orb
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Why are there manic highs after unveilings/awakenings? 

 

I go crazy with positivity and try to help out so many people after these experiences. 

 

Kinda like being spiritually drunk for a few days, then feeling embarrassed for all the stuff you did in the blissful haze 😬.

🌞🌚

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When my fat spiritual ego gets out of control, I get the "awakening roller-coaster" effect.

First) Woohoo! I understand everything! I'm so f'ing awake! Do other people have this? Look at all those unawakened noobs over there! Look how far above them I am.

Second) Damn, life sure does have a way of putting me in my place. I ain't awake, I just got really high, and I don't understand shit. Other people are probably laughing at me for being so foolish.

Third) Maybe I need another spiritual experience so I can be just like all the super cool "awakened people", who "get it".

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My first non drug induced experience totally blew me away. I had a hard time referring to myself for a few days, and both my wife and parents thought I went crazy. Then I became really depressed for a few days. I guess I had a short delusional period, but about a week after the experience I was mostly myself again.

Subsequent experiences did give me a high for a day or two, but I was more prepared and both the high and come down were shorter and more gentle.

I don't claim any truth. I just share my personal experience.

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I think it's all related to the ego's innate need for significance. After said ego is beaten to a pulp, it feels the need to reestablish it's dominance. It does this by reaching for the most disgustingly grandiose identity it can find. Thus it thinks itself enlightened. 😁

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@Orb

Do you think it's possible to see through all concepts/beliefs all at once and see in pure Truth? To see reality exactly as it is?

Because for me, even when I have an "experience" call it spiritual or whatever, there is still conceptualization happening even if it transcends previously held beliefs/concepts.

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@DMT Elf

37 minutes ago, DMT Elf said:

@Orb

Do you think it's possible to see through all concepts/beliefs all at once and see in pure Truth? To see reality exactly as it is?

Yes I think so, that also includes beliefs about what is being some extraordinarily pleasurable sensations. 

 

So what I mean is sure, you can come to rest and bask in peacefulness, but it will not always be a blissful spiritual experience. A bit of a paradox, feeling always peaceful yet allowing sensation to arise naturally in its own rhythms (highs and lows). 

 

39 minutes ago, DMT Elf said:

@Orb

Because for me, even when I have an "experience" call it spiritual or whatever, there is still conceptualization happening even if it transcends previously held beliefs/concepts.

The mental noise is fine and not bothersome at all, I'd let it flow naturally. When I mention beliefs/conceptualization I mean those "blockages" felt when holding onto something that doesn't feel good & self referential thinking.

🌞🌚

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6 hours ago, DMT Elf said:

@Tarak Interesting. How did it happen if not through a substance?

I was at a turning point in my life, had started meditating (not at all regularly) a few months earlier, was initiated by an Indian guru not long before. Was any of this the reason it happened? I don't know, it just did. One moment I was working on a client's application and the next I was riding the fractal of existance 😁 I would have a 3 month autistic shut- and breakdown a couple of months later what lead to my assessment and a complete re-ordering of my life.

5 hours ago, Orb said:

@DMT Elf what happens is an experience occurs, then out of cockiness one stops the meditative practice and the weeds of conceptualization grow. 

 

As always, meditation was the answer to this.

4 hours ago, DMT Elf said:

@Orb

Do you think it's possible to see through all concepts/beliefs all at once and see in pure Truth? To see reality exactly as it is?

Because for me, even when I have an "experience" call it spiritual or whatever, there is still conceptualization happening even if it transcends previously held beliefs/concepts.

Searching for a meaning and conceptualization works counterproductive. That might've been the reason why I was so stuck the first time. I couldn't let go, I had "seen the light" and wanted to keep it. Off course that was enough to lose it, hah! But we're a couple of years later now, and I learned to just enjoy the ride when it happens and not search too much for meaning.

I don't claim any truth. I just share my personal experience.

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On 4/21/2022 at 10:34 PM, Orb said:

Why are there manic highs after unveilings/awakenings? 

Besides it being awesome, I think there's the factor of contrast.

 

Unveilings/awakenings make me feel super light. Light is relative, as opposed to heavy.

 

There's a lot of stuff that we carry around all day every day, and even to sleep (which makes us feel heavy, mentally foggy, drained or not refreshed after waking up from the goodnight sleep). 'Seeings' show just how ridiculous it is to carry so much weight - and woosh, you drop the weight in an instant (=letting go). That contrast you feel while letting go feels really fucking good, and one reason for it feeling so good I think, besides you being the very goodness, is the contrast between holding onto and letting go, carrying weight vs. dropping weight. Not sure, but karma might refer to that 'holding onto'.

 

After having 'seen something', conditioning (extending the claws, clinging, holding onto) usually comes back in different ways - or sometimes not at all. That's where the integration phase lies - e.g. clearing your mind, relaxing, emotional transmutation, and whatnot.

 

I find that humbleness is a great indicator to keep in the back of your mind. When you recognize that you are the authority, it's easy for the ego to go berserk. I mean, I get it, awakenings can be super powerful and make you feel super powerful, because you are, but there's a certain distinction between capitalizing on it (ego) vs. appreciating the beauty of it and sharing it with others (embodiment). :classic_smile:

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Not listening to guidance of shame when thinking about something you said in the past is more ignoring of feeling. It's again forgetting feeling for the thought. You FEEL full of yourSelf in a peak/peak, and then later thought judges that to be full of myself, then we act full of ourselves, then we think that this is not right (which is correct only because we got lost in thought again), but since we are STILL lost in thought we think the discord is about a self that was arrogant or dumb in the past. Hence, more believing thoughts. 

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