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7 hours ago, Serenity said:

How is it going on with the music? Would you share some of your work (dm possible if shyness arises)? 🙂

Its great. I would like to share it here but i prefer to be anonnymous for now. Thinking of creating a new profile here so i can start a fresh and not share so much personal stuff but share other kinds of things. I will send you some music later 🙂 

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4 minutes ago, WhiteOwl said:

Its great. I would like to share it here but i prefer to be anonnymous for now. Thinking of creating a new profile here so i can start a fresh and not share so much personal stuff but share other kinds of things. I will send you some music later 🙂 

Great. 😊

Looking forward to it.

“Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira

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Up and downs ...

 

Today I apparently experienced more identifications than in the last days. I am both discouraged and disappointed,.

 

I am missing oneness and that feeling of clear purity and innocence . 


I am tired of sinning.

 

I want to be LOVE.

 

Realize it. Operate from it. Shine it. 

 

That's all I want.

 

“Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira

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Quote

Prompt: What's the difference between guilt and self-blame, and how do I recognize when I am feeling one or the other?

 

 

Guilt and self-blame are related emotional experiences but differ in their focus and impact on oneself:

 

Guilt:

Definition: Guilt typically arises from a sense of having done something wrong or violating one's own moral or ethical standards.

Focus: It is directed towards the specific action or behavior that one believes to be inappropriate or harmful.

Recognition: You might recognize guilt when you feel remorseful, responsible for a particular outcome, or when you have a desire to make amends or seek forgiveness.

 

Self-Blame:

Definition: Self-blame involves attributing personal fault or responsibility for negative events or situations, regardless of whether one actually caused them.

Focus: It tends to be broader and more generalized, often extending beyond specific actions to include one's character, capabilities, or worth.

Recognition: You may notice self-blame when you consistently criticize yourself, feel unworthy or incompetent in various aspects of your life, or automatically assume blame even when the circumstances are beyond your control.

 

Recognizing Guilt vs. Self-Blame:

Guilt often involves a specific incident or action. You might feel it when you reflect on something you did or failed to do, leading to regret or a desire to make things right.

Self-blame, on the other hand, tends to be more pervasive and ongoing. It can manifest as a chronic sense of inadequacy, where you hold yourself accountable for things outside your control or attribute negative outcomes solely to your own shortcomings.

Examples to differentiate:

Guilt: "I feel guilty because I accidentally forgot my friend's birthday."

Self-Blame: "I failed to get the job. It must be because I'm not smart or talented enough."

 

In summary, recognizing guilt involves acknowledging a specific action or behavior that conflicts with your values, while recognizing self-blame involves a more general and pervasive sense of personal inadequacy or responsibility for negative outcomes. Understanding these distinctions can help you address these feelings more effectively, whether through self-reflection, seeking support, or taking constructive actions.

 

“Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira

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Yeah. It's all fun and games until I remember that the illusion makes me feel suffering. 🥲

I suffer.

 

There is a someone biting up the illusion again. 

So long for feeling mentally stable, I am experiencing some serious identification roller coasters 🤭.

 

Today, I feel unworthy, guilty about feeling unworthy and I blame myself for that.  I am worried about whether I'll ever feel good enough and feel doubt about my ability to do so. Lots of doubt. I am disappointed about this experience and I feel overwhelmed by what is on my scheduled and the task I have to do today. I am frustrated about all the tasks, feeling the irritation of having to do them instead of something else that would be more appropriate for sommer and impatient to be done with it. I am also frustrated, irritated and impatient about healing  and letting for good the remaining self-referential thoughts creating an apparent sep self that can feel all this pollution. But I feel pessimistic about all of that happening. It has never happened before and this would be something new and its though to break free from such illusion and anyway my daily tasks today give me the impression that they are difficult to achieve correctly. I feel pessimistic also because I don't feel good at the very moment in the now, and how should I do good creation when I feel pessimistic? I am also sitting in from of the computer and being distracted, writing these words because I don't want to do and feel the boredom that seems to be stemming from the creation I've chosen to do now. Okay, now I am going to stop the distraction and accept the boredom and look for contentement in what I wish to create for today.

“Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira

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I achieved a small victory recently. On Thursday, I took the B2 Goethe certificate exams, which assess proficiency in German.
 

I dedicated myself to intensive German classes for three months: from 9 AM to 12:30 PM, and for the last three weeks, an additional 2-3 hours in the afternoon. The exam has a tough reputation, so I wasn't very optimistic about passing.
 

To my surprise, I passed three out of the four modules, falling just three points short in the fourth (57/100 instead of the required 60/100). Interestingly, I scored lowest in the speaking part, which usually has the highest success rate. It's a pleasant surprise because I didn't expect to pass the writing section. That's the biggest failed rate. There I got a humble 64/100 which is a pass.
 

Now, I have three out of four parts of the Goethe certificate completed, and I have the option to retake the speaking component. The other three parts are 'bestanden' for good. 😊
 

German has always been challenging for me among languages. I am hoping to take C1 classes in the future, which makes me feel very excited because there I'll be able to consume content with almost as much ease as with English. Can't wait to passively consume German content like it's a breeze 😍.

“Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira

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Fun fact. I am the first french speaker as a mother tongue in my bloodline. It's so weird. My European ancestors were german speakers and my African ancestors spoke  mostly Lingala 🙂

“Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira

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