Serenity Posted April 22 Share Posted April 22 I am there. Quote Mention How do I love best now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted April 22 Author Share Posted April 22 Using a remarkable and a paper journal to journal these days. Will keep this journal for proper public journaling purposes, which means it could end up being very different from all these other journals I am have ever made, as I never had other private journals. I have been experiencing some real feelings of exhaustion, as well as some life changes. I wanted to give myself some slack. I also do a lot of what is called 'inner work', on top of managing the 'outside' life situations. The inner work is the most challenging by far, as I keep feeling repressions of all kinds stemming from my previous experience as an emotionally 'numb' person. I keep on seeing elements that needs to be reintegrated, in what seems to be a high priority, 'urgent' change. But also, there is the Awakening. And the Awakening brings me so much confusion as when I bask into Being, there is just this knowledge that all is well, and there is no ego to fix. Quote Mention How do I love best now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted April 22 Author Share Posted April 22 Shadow work : fishing for ego dense mirages and harmonizing it back into oneness/love. Quote Mention How do I love best now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted April 22 Author Share Posted April 22 Proper shadow work in non dual Quote Mention How do I love best now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted April 22 Author Share Posted April 22 It's never about fixing oneself. The only things to fix are the unhelpful thoughts, emotions and patterns. Quote Mention How do I love best now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted April 22 Author Share Posted April 22 And maybe, that should be named 'harmonizing', not 'fixing' 😀. Quote Mention How do I love best now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted April 24 Author Share Posted April 24 Going from a "I just want to be loved" (shame) vibe to 'I am Love'. Quote Mention How do I love best now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted April 24 Author Share Posted April 24 I am and have been going through so much healing. I am so thankful for everyone who helped me on that journey. 🥹 Quote Mention How do I love best now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted April 26 Author Share Posted April 26 Letting the cloud of overwhelment be felt. Letting it deploy its storm and pass, as all experiences do. I've felt it in the background since what feels like forever. Coping with it, instead of aknowledging it. I feel tired. Exhausted. Crushed by responsibilities and to dos. By the political, economical and social systems. By my healing and all the emotional processing I have to do. Why am I that person who get to do so much and in difficult circumstances? A part of me wants to become an hermit, disconnect and sleep for days, weeks, months. Just do nothing. Being taken cared of while no more challenges and situations to care of arises. 🙃 No background feelings of guilt and shame. Or no sensations of time being wasted. Quote Mention How do I love best now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted April 26 Author Share Posted April 26 Finally made it to contentment for the first time. Bringing up all that batch of once repressed energy from the bottom of the scale until this stage feels absolutely glorious. I am quite certain there will be some scale relapses, and consolidation to do, but I am... well... content. 🙂 Quote Mention How do I love best now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted April 27 Author Share Posted April 27 Powerlessness, fear, despair. 🤧 ❤️🩹 Loneliness. Unsafety. Quote Mention How do I love best now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted May 14 Author Share Posted May 14 Quote Mention How do I love best now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted May 21 Author Share Posted May 21 'Beat your ass and hide the Bible if God's watching!' 😂 🖕 He a FAN, he a FAN, he a FAN. Freaking ass n* 🖕 Can't afford all that anger out, but boundries and narratives are coming for them FANS 🖕. That frozen anger is being processed like never. From internalized to straight back to your hands.🖕 Quote Mention How do I love best now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted May 21 Author Share Posted May 21 Ps: I am sorry. You're right, you've got all the right to hate on me for no reasons except for the fact that I exist and breath. You've been given nothing. God cheated you. What was supposed to be yours probably was saved for me. I get why you've been trying to rob me for so long. Superficiality, weakness and self-deception is all you'll get in this life experience. You've got zero midichlorians. Warrants that jealousy I suppose? I am not sorry anymore. Handle yourself your unhinged, disgraceful misplaced ego. Freaking weak ass fraud. Freaky ass nothing 🖕. 💣💥 Quote Mention How do I love best now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted May 21 Author Share Posted May 21 Conglomerate of unconscious unprocessed dirt incarnated in a human being 🖕. Quote Mention How do I love best now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted May 22 Author Share Posted May 22 Inner narrative repossession & sorting. Casting the light on them patterns, Everything you hate in others is yours. 🫠 Quote Mention How do I love best now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted May 30 Author Share Posted May 30 The self-concept is gone!!! Let's see if it comes back. 👀 Quote Mention How do I love best now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted May 30 Author Share Posted May 30 Self-concept back 😂 Quote Mention How do I love best now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted May 30 Share Posted May 30 😂 Hang in there / don’t hang in there! Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted May 30 Author Share Posted May 30 20 minutes ago, Phil said: 😂 Hang in there / don’t hang in there! 😂 -- Best holidays. So relaxing 😊 Quote Mention How do I love best now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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