Body dysmorphia/ how to change

[Whimsical]

I’ve been very self conscious about how I look my whole life.  If anything it’s getting worse as I get older, I think I may have body dysmorphia.  I hate to have my photo taken and sometimes I don’t want to go in social situations because I feel unattractive.  I know it’s a self absorbed way to think but I can’t help it.

 I don’t really know why exactly I feel and think this way as I was never, for example, bullied because of my appearance growing up, or told I was ugly etc.  but I notice many things wrong about my looks and judge myself heavily for it.  
I compare myself to others and I don’t feel like I look normal.  Just don’t know how to think differently. 

[Faith]

Thought's job, so to speak, is to get your attention and to convince you, you are a self. If you believe the story, then its done its job. The more attention and focus you give to that story the more often you'll hear thoughts to strengthen it. This is called "selfing". Thought convincing you, you are a self and having you believe a certain way about this self. See the unreality of it and how these thoughts are just arising, from no where. Try thought stopping techniques when these dysfunctional thoughts arise. 

 

"Common techniques-

snapping a rubber band against your wrist. Firmly saying, “Stop!” either out loud or in your head. Keeping track of how often you experience unwanted thoughts by making a note each time it happens. Substituting a more pleasant thought or image for the unpleasant one."

 

 

 

[Kevin]

On 4/16/2022 at 2:41 PM, Whimsical said:

I’ve been very self conscious about how I look my whole life.  If anything it’s getting worse as I get older, I think I may have body dysmorphia.  I hate to have my photo taken and sometimes I don’t want to go in social situations because I feel unattractive.  I know it’s a self absorbed way to think but I can’t help it.

 I don’t really know why exactly I feel and think this way as I was never, for example, bullied because of my appearance growing up, or told I was ugly etc.  but I notice many things wrong about my looks and judge myself heavily for it.  
I compare myself to others and I don’t feel like I look normal.  Just don’t know how to think differently. 

just my 2 cents but perhaps focusing on other things for a while could help. By that I mean don’t entertain those thoughts. I suggest this because on a purely physical level I doubt you're unattractive but if there is a habit of focusing on our own “faults” then it is easy to only notice them while ignoring all the beautiful parts of ourselves. With some space from you’re thoughts it might be easier to appreciate your body.

 

beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Most of the girls I’ve dated have expressed insecurity with how they look and even thinking parts of themselves were ugly. I didn’t see it though I thought they were beautiful.

 

Also good healthy diet, a little cardio, and lifting weights is definitely a good thing to do. Not because you’re unattractive and need to do these things but because they are good for you and will make you feel better physically and mentally.

[Phil]

On 4/16/2022 at 5:41 PM, Whimsical said:

I’ve been very self conscious about how I look my whole life.

You’re got your terms mixed up. This is the experience of judgement, not self consciousness. You haven’t experienced self consciousness yet. You’ve only experienced beliefs about self consciousness. 

The relief is in the willingness to inspect the beliefs. To consider there is ignore-ance & misunderstanding occurring. 

The misunderstanding is being believed, while how this feels is being ignored. 

 

Self is unconditional love. Therefore it is not possible to say in truth I’ve been self conscious - about how I look. 

That misunderstanding is felt.

To be self conscious about how you look, is to be unconditionally loving, about how you look. 

 

More so even… 

Self is infinite, and thus never seen. 

You’ve been very judgmental you’re entire life. 

 

And even more so…

You’ve never been judgmental. You’ve just focused on thoughts which don’t feel good about yourself. 

 

And yet even more so…

There aren’t two of you; a judge and a judged. 

That’s why it feels so off, so discordant, to believe there is. 

On 4/16/2022 at 5:41 PM, Whimsical said:

 If anything it’s getting worse as I get older, I think I may have body dysmorphia.  

Self is eternal and does not age. Momentum of discord builds as thoughts are believed (repeatedly focused upon) rather than inspected to see if they’re actually true. The discord felt is assumed to be, because the thoughts are true.

The discord felt is because the thoughts are not true. 

The discord felt is felt by the unconditional love that is the truth. 

On 4/16/2022 at 5:41 PM, Whimsical said:

I hate to have my photo taken and sometimes I don’t want to go in social situations because I feel unattractive.  

If you can look at a photo, clearly, you can not also be in a photo. 

If you are aware of thoughts, clearly, you can not be in thoughts. 

On 4/16/2022 at 5:41 PM, Whimsical said:

I know it’s a self absorbed way to think but I can’t help it.

If you were self absorbed, you would fall to your knees in the infinitude of the infinite unconditional love you actually are. 

There are beliefs to inspect & let go of. 

On 4/16/2022 at 5:41 PM, Whimsical said:

 I don’t really know why exactly I feel and think this way as I was never, for example, bullied because of my appearance growing up, or told I was ugly etc.  

It’s innocent. Thus far, you think like those around you think, like Morselli thought, and you suffer like Morselli & those around you suffer. 

This is the first Ox Herder picture. 

You have found the path. 

On 4/16/2022 at 5:41 PM, Whimsical said:

but I notice many things wrong about my looks and judge myself heavily for it.  

You can judge someone else. 

You can not judge yourself, because you = yourself. 

Thoughts about there being two of you feel discordant. Listen to, allow, receive… the guidance & wisdom of the feeling 

On 4/16/2022 at 5:41 PM, Whimsical said:

I compare myself to others and I don’t feel like I look normal.  
Just don’t know how to think differently. 

Align thought with feeling. 

Don’t be right. 

Be yourself; prior to the thoughts, beliefs, misunderstandings & assumptions. 

Going Prior.

 

You Should’ve Seen The Other Guy.

(There is no other guy. There is no separate self. The love you are is the love you’re fighting with, and is the love that will help you wrap your hands and stitch up your eyes when you’re done fighting.)

[Joseph Maynor]

Whatever part of your body you feel ashamed of, work on exposing it more in public deliberately.  After a while you'll heal that shame not entirely but to a very large extent.