Ceejay Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 I am not much of a chess player and the kid was a keen player with lots of experience. I lost a chess game with him and others (incl. grownups) had witnessed this. No one humiliated me or anything. But immediately I felt constricted and tight, and sad. Is this normal? Does this happen with everyone? This is very little failure which does not mean anything. So what happens when something very hurtful, like intense public humiliation or something happened.. I get why some folk commit suicide after suffering such an episode, although it is over. It is because they realized that life could fuck them up really bad... and they are severely disillusioned about life being benign to them. Therefore, they no longer want to live in a reality where such fuckery could happen to them. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joseph Maynor Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 (edited) 7 minutes ago, Ceejay said: I am not much of a chess player and the kid was a keen player with lots of experience. I lost a chess game with him and others (incl. grownups) had witnessed this. No one humiliated me or anything. But immediately I felt constricted and tight, and sad. Is this normal? Does this happen with everyone? This is very little failure which does not mean anything. So what happens when something very hurtful, like intense public humiliation or something happened.. I get why some folk commit suicide after suffering such an episode, although it is over. It is because they realized that life could fuck them up really bad... and they are severely disillusioned about life being benign to them. Therefore, they no longer want to live in a reality where such fuckery could happen to them. Chess is mistakenly made synonymous with intelligence. The reality is Chess is a game, and like any game the person who excels does it a lot and also knows the rules and the exceptions. It's like being a great musician -- you need a lot of practice and you also gotta know theory too. Don't feel bad that someone can play any game better than you. It's a game. It's one framework for creation. Edited February 23 by Joseph Maynor Quote Mention 💬 🗯️🤍 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceejay Posted February 23 Author Share Posted February 23 Yes. But I was thinking what Magnus Carlsen said in an interview. He said there is no pleasure equal to the pleasure of knowing that you have trapped your opponent and they too realize that they fell into the trap and they are playing a losing game... The image that comes to mind is the description of a passage in PKD's Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep where an android cuts of a spiders' leg one by one saying the legs are redundant. Chess too could be violent like that. But it is the ego that is hurt! Despite doing lots of ego deconstruction work and so on.. there are vast reserves of ego underneath me that I doubt whether it could actually be done away with. Yes, I agree with your point about the mistake of equating chess with intelligence. Others often do that in their naivete and that in turn affects me socially when I lose the game. But even then, I am not into it that much. If I was a hardcore player and I lost a game, maybe it hurts like needles.. But I am simply conjecturing.. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 1 hour ago, Ceejay said: Despite doing lots of ego deconstruction work and so on.. there are vast reserves of ego underneath me that I doubt whether it could actually be done away with. That's a fascinating statement. Do you believe it? Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isagi Yoichi Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 come play me a game https://www.chess.com/member/killuazld90 Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 @Ceejay How is losing a chess match failure? Yes, emotion cannot be done away with. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceejay Posted February 24 Author Share Posted February 24 8 hours ago, Mandy said: That's a fascinating statement. Do you believe it? Well, I talked about ego like if it is a real thing. And there isn't literally vast reserves of ego underneath me, now that I reflect on this question. Because I don't think it works like that. However during the intense emotion, the presence of the phantom is very palpable, even though it is theoretically illusory. Adya said the ego is shapeshifter. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceejay Posted February 24 Author Share Posted February 24 Isagi, maybe another time. 😌 Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceejay Posted February 24 Author Share Posted February 24 4 hours ago, Phil said: @Ceejay How is losing a chess match failure? Yes, emotion cannot be done away with. Failure is a social construct. Others (we care about) deem a particular situation as failure and sometimes, granted, we simply imagine that others do in a particular situation (and they might not be), but we assume it anyway... and when we find ourselves in the losing side, we imagine they are judging us harshly or internally laughing or something, or feeling sorry for us. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 @Ceejay How do you feel about that though? Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 8 hours ago, Ceejay said: However during the intense emotion, the presence of the phantom is very palpable, even though it is theoretically illusory. Palpable in that it's felt? Could it be that minus the dramatic interpretations...it's simply felt? Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceejay Posted February 24 Author Share Posted February 24 7 hours ago, Phil said: @Ceejay How do you feel about that though? I can't say now as that situation has passed, or hasn't happened. Only projected. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceejay Posted February 24 Author Share Posted February 24 5 hours ago, Mandy said: Could it be that minus the dramatic interpretations...it's simply felt? Yes, it could just be that, and it would not be much problematic, neither would it be lingering much, and probably would be cleansing/healing for the body-mind -- but the "this" + the "dramatic interpretations", tends to happen simulateneously and that is really uncomfortable. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 @Ceejay The dramatic interpretations are just born out of your infinite brilliance of creativity, so create what you want, not want you don't want. We first have to recognize that are just telling a story to start telling a different one. Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceejay Posted February 25 Author Share Posted February 25 @Mandy Okay, so then I have to let go of what I think is the "true" story.. and attachment to that.. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted February 26 Share Posted February 26 On 2/23/2024 at 1:21 PM, Ceejay said: happen to them Therein lies liberation. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceejay Posted February 26 Author Share Posted February 26 9 minutes ago, Phil said: Therein lies liberation. by releasing that belief. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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