Rose Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 (edited) I used to go to university with this one girl. She was from Belarus and I never really liked her, only hung out with her because we both spoke russian (I am Ukrainian). We were both studying actuarial math, but she couldn’t find an actuarial job after graduating and couldn’t pass the actuarial exams - took her 5 times to pass one exam which I passed on the first try. After the war in Ukraine started I blocked her everywhere because she started supporting russia (posted a russian flag on her instagram and didn’t reply to me when I asked her for donations (that was before I knew she was supporting russia) Recently I looked her up on LinkedIn and saw she was a senior manager at a bank (some kind of reporting team). She got promoted from manager to senior manager in a year. It’s insane to me because I am still just an actuarial consultant, and it usually takes much more years for actuaries to get promoted. It makes me mad that she is so high up in her career despite not being a good student neither in university nor with actuarial exams. It also make me question again the path that I chose - I work with actuaries and PhDs on a data science team where I constantly feel like I am not good enough and should be doing more - if I did some simple analyst job working with people with bachelor degrees, I would feel so much better about myself. I also wouldn’t have to do the endless exams that take so much of my time. How do I get rid of those strong negative emotions towards her? Edited January 18 by Rose Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blessed2 Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 (edited) No relationship or encounter with "other person" is random. It's all perfectly "designed". Like what's seen in the mirror isn't random one bit, but directly linked with what's in front of the mirror. Don't curse this situation, take it as a gift. There is a huge opportunity here for you. This situation is a symbol of unconscious guilt and unworthiness. You're literally staring in the mirror. To forgive is to overlook. Look, then, beyond error and do not let your perception rest upon it, for you will believe what your perception holds. Accept as true only what your brother is, if you would know yourself. Perceive what he is not and you cannot know what you are, because you see him falsely. Edited January 18 by Blessed2 Quote Mention There must be an effortless way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 Bring it up or let is come up and feel it fully, let it hit you straight on. It'll burn for a while but it will also burn itself out. Let yourself want what the jealousy is showing you, drop the thoughts or her being unworthy as the thoughts that you are as well. Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 @Rose Hate isn’t for. Strong emotions aren’t negative or towards. ‘Not good enough’ is a thought, not an emotion or a feeling. How that thought feels points to emotion & feeling. Anyone experiencing those thoughts would be experiencing those emotions. Anyone not experiencing those thoughts would not be experiencing those emotions. ‘Feeling better about myself’ via comparative thoughts sometimes feels better and sometimes feels worse and is a mental & emotional rollercoaster. Certainty & assuredness can’t be found in or derived of thoughts, as all there is to thought is change. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted January 18 Author Share Posted January 18 11 hours ago, Blessed2 said: This situation is a symbol of unconscious guilt and unworthiness. You're literally staring in the mirror. I don’t understand how this is my mirror? She seems to be much less deserving, but gets more than I do. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blessed2 Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 50 minutes ago, Rose said: I don’t understand how this is my mirror? She seems to be much less deserving, but gets more than I do. "Deserving" is a very interesting concept that seems to go under radar for many of us. If you'd look at her and see her completely deserving of what she has, and deserving of even more than what she has now, and you'd be staring in the mirror, what message would you be sending to yourself? Would that be a message you'd like to recieve? In terms of LoA, would that be a bit more aligned? If you stare at a building or a tree or a bush, there seems to be no-one there. Yet, if you look at a human face, there seems to be plenty of "someone" there. You call that "other person". Quote Mention There must be an effortless way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 The universe is pure innocence and doesn’t “know”… so the universe doesn’t know separate selves because the universe is whole & complete, and doesn’t hold beliefs about separation & identity. The universe just hears ‘hate success’, ‘not deserving’, ‘not good’, ‘not good enough’ & ‘strong negative emotions’, and being whole & unconditional the universe just says YES, sure! No problem! Here you go! Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted January 18 Author Share Posted January 18 (edited) 1 hour ago, Phil said: The universe just hears ‘hate success’, ‘not deserving’, ‘not good’, ‘not good enough’ & ‘strong negative emotions’, and being whole & unconditional the universe just says YES, sure! No problem! Here you go! Ok.. so if you are doing it on the daily, how come you don’t have the best possible and are not a millionaire enjoying your life on the beach somewhere? And not Bred Pitt looking and don’t have Angelina Jolie next to you? Where is proof that any of this actually works? Edited January 18 by Rose Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 3 hours ago, Rose said: Ok.. so if you are doing it on the daily, how come you don’t have the best possible and are not a millionaire enjoying your life on the beach somewhere? I do / I am. 3 hours ago, Rose said: And not Bred Pitt looking and don’t have Angelina Jolie next to you? Ang was cool for a while but honesty, just not enough stamina. 3 hours ago, Rose said: Where is proof that any of this actually works? As if you knew how you got here in the first place. This might be stuff you want. Idk. Write it on the dreamboard & see what happens. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted January 23 Author Share Posted January 23 On 1/18/2024 at 10:04 PM, Phil said: This might be stuff you want. Idk. Write it on the dreamboard & see what happens. What do you want? Did you achieve it through asking the universe for it? On 1/18/2024 at 10:04 PM, Phil said: just not enough stamina. Lol, you or her? 😅 Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted January 23 Author Share Posted January 23 On 1/18/2024 at 3:55 PM, Blessed2 said: If you'd look at her and see her completely deserving of what she has, and deserving of even more than what she has now, and you'd be staring in the mirror, what message would you be sending to yourself? My hate is too strong for this.. can’t even imagine what it would be like being in this scenario…I’ve been hating her for so many years.. I think she is my biggest enemy lol Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted January 23 Author Share Posted January 23 (edited) On 1/18/2024 at 9:27 AM, Mandy said: drop the thoughts or her being unworthy as the thoughts that you are as well. Are you saying there no such thing as being unworthy with this? Edited January 23 by Rose Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blessed2 Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 9 hours ago, Rose said: My hate is too strong for this.. can’t even imagine what it would be like being in this scenario…I’ve been hating her for so many years.. I think she is my biggest enemy lol Yeah, it's a huge opportunity. If it seems to big right now, start with smaller steps. Like for example, next time that you have a moment to yourself in some public setting like a bus, a metro or a cafe, take just a few minutes to notice all the people around you, and imagine what their dreams and desires are. Do not judge any of them, and do not evaluate whether someone is worthy of having what they want or not. Go through a thoughts process like: "That person probably wants to have a billion bucks and a bunch of ferraris. That person wants to have a perfect partner who loves them unconditionally. That person wants fame and to be admired and loved by everyone." etc. Any desires that intuitively come to mind that they might want. Then imagine all their dreams suddenly coming true, outta nowhere. Imagine how good they would feel. Imagine the satisfaction and excitement they would feel. Imagine them being 100% worthy of it, not because of what they are and what good deeds or hard work they have done for it, but simply because they exist. You will be surprised of how great this little "practice" feels. You might also want to try this: It makes it more obvious how deeply even the little grievances and hatred actually affect your well-being. It's like first you were sleeping, but now you're awake. It goes that deep. Quote Mention There must be an effortless way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 9 hours ago, Rose said: What do you want? Alignment, health, well-being. A wife / best friend which I’m truly & madly in love with. Good friends which I can experience much fun & deep emotional connection with. A healthy happy family. Ample time & income for interests, hobbies, endeavors & giving back. 9 hours ago, Rose said: Did you achieve it through asking the universe for it? I’m not an achiever. I’m just being. As a concession to ignorance, I attracted by getting out of my own way / allowing / receiving. 9 hours ago, Rose said: Lol, you or her? 😅 Bitch please. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 10 hours ago, Rose said: My hate is too strong for this.. can’t even imagine what it would be like being in this scenario…I’ve been hating her for so many years.. I think she is my biggest enemy lol That's an indicator that there's something AWESOME and freeing and wonderful that you want under all of that. 10 hours ago, Rose said: Are you saying there no such thing as being unworthy with this? Yes, you create the notion that there is and that feels bad. It's a losing game, it only seems as if some win and some lose, but the money in it has no value outside of the game, like monopoly. Look around, everyone has their own "currency". But the only real currency is the current, what's here now, this being, and that is an abundant infinite river. You get to decide what you want, what's important to you. If you've been believing in outside value and currency and not creating and really listening, exploring discovery what really has "value" to you, you're bound to be frustrated and fall short all the time, because it's not of any value to you, you only believe it is for others. Like in Ferris Buheller's Day Off, sometimes you have to trash a metaphorical Ferrari to discover what's actually important to you. Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted January 25 Share Posted January 25 If that there aren’t separate selves is true, what you’re really putting out vibrationally is ‘I hate success’. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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