WhiteOwl Posted January 4 Share Posted January 4 (edited) I started dating my good friends, good friend while he was gone for 2 month. I didn't know for anything that he had feelings for her as he is the ex of her lifetime best friend for 5 years. I thought it was complete no-go. At the same time i've been trying to release and purify some interpretations that made me feel some insecurity/unworthiness around her, so it hasn't been a dance on roses also. We got really close to each other though but its been a while now due to vacation and some treatment we both needed to take. My friend is back and now told me that he is into her and that she knows and that they are are going to take quiet baby steps towards that due to the ex. I haven't spoken to her about it yet, but i will do it to clarify things. He is my good friend, but a full range of emotions just swirling around. Anger, insecurity, unworthiness, doubt, resentment, revenge. I am trying to relax in it but i like the girl and thoughts of them doing things together (which they might do, they are very good friends). How can i be the best version of myself in this? I want to be able to be free and fun when i see her. Its hard right now Edited January 4 by WhiteOwl Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteOwl Posted January 4 Author Share Posted January 4 The thing is. He is very spiritual and a good manifestor. And the things he told me now made me believe it. Now i feel like i am helping his manifestation. How do i break this cycle? Some fucking wizard contest all of a sudden. @Phil Do you have anything to say about this? Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted January 4 Share Posted January 4 "Throw your bread upon the water", let it go. Be the lesser wizard. He with the least to lose will win. She isn't a prize, she's manifesting too. What love can you give in this situation? Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted January 4 Share Posted January 4 @WhiteOwl I would ask her about this. See what she says first and then take it from there. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteOwl Posted January 4 Author Share Posted January 4 13 minutes ago, Mandy said: What love can you give in this situation? Maybe thats a doubt. What can i actually give? Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted January 4 Share Posted January 4 @WhiteOwl Nothing. Just find the feeling. Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted January 4 Share Posted January 4 4 hours ago, WhiteOwl said: He is very spiritual and a good manifestor. And the things he told me now made me believe it. Careful with adding separate selves into the aligning thought with feeling, allowing and manifesting mix. That’s not quite the message. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteOwl Posted January 4 Author Share Posted January 4 9 minutes ago, Phil said: Careful with adding separate selves into the aligning thought with feeling, allowing and manifesting mix. That’s not quite the message. yes it sure does feel discordant. But i guess we are all manifesting. I am not sure if i should talk to him about my feelings for her. He doesn't ask or seems interested in it. But maybe it would be a relief for me to be open about it, but again i also want to just be able to have a good time with him. @MandyThx mandy very helpful 🙂 Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted January 5 Share Posted January 5 13 hours ago, WhiteOwl said: yes it sure does feel discordant. But i guess we are all manifesting. If it feels discordant, maybe there’s more to it in the less is more manor. 13 hours ago, WhiteOwl said: I am not sure if i should talk to him about my feelings for her. He doesn't ask or seems interested in it. But maybe it would be a relief for me to be open about it, but again i also want to just be able to have a good time with him. Likewise maybe just have a good time. If ways to feel lesser than or small are sought, discord will be felt yet the means will never actually be found. If a child asked you how to feel anger, insecurity, unworthiness & doubt without believing in and therein comparing separate selves, how would you tell them to proceed? Who would you suggest they resent and exact revenge upon? Who would you suggest resent and exact revenge upon the child? Is happiness appearing as desires, or is happiness the future result of the fulfillment of future desires? Why does expression & communication resonate while suppression & festering does not? Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteOwl Posted January 5 Author Share Posted January 5 7 minutes ago, Phil said: If a child asked you how to feel anger, insecurity, unworthiness & doubt without believing in and therein comparing separate selves, how would you tell them to proceed? Who would you suggest they resent and exact revenge upon? Who would you suggest resent and exact revenge upon the child? Thats a good way to look at it 7 minutes ago, Phil said: Is happiness appearing as desires, or is happiness the future result of the fulfillment of future desires? Is desiring things happiness? I guess so Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted January 5 Share Posted January 5 1 minute ago, WhiteOwl said: Is desiring things happiness? I guess so Likewise, a child asks for a precise explanation as to how it is there are things. What would you say? Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joseph Maynor Posted January 5 Share Posted January 5 (edited) 4 hours ago, Phil said: Likewise, a child asks for a precise explanation as to how it is there are things. What would you say? I would say figure it our for yourself kid. There are people who want to tell you that they know better than you, and there are people that will tell you to go figure it out for yourself. That's a distinction. Edited January 5 by Joseph Maynor Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteOwl Posted January 6 Author Share Posted January 6 On 1/4/2024 at 8:03 PM, Phil said: I would ask her about this. See what she says first and then take it from there. I feel like this thing is just teaching me about worthiness (among others). A lot of unhealthy thoughts and beliefs in what has occured. I surely was trying to get something from her (worth). What a trip this drama. I am going to see her in two days. I want to ask her about him, but at the same time what does it matter if i am not going to be with her. I guess it would be evident if we were? There is some anger,blame,revenge in saying or asking about it. Like putting them down for it being wrong. I almost feel like just saying thanks for the time we have been together and that she has been great. I just feel some sense of cowardice, or like i am backing down from what i want, even though i am not sure i want it. Do you see what i mean? @MandyDo u have anything to say to that? Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted January 6 Share Posted January 6 @WhiteOwl I’m pretty sure I do see what you mean. I’m also pretty sure much change in interpretation in terms of maturity, onus and inclusion of the guidance is happening and frankly it strikes me as beautiful, awesome, freeing and empowering. It seems that whereas before emotions felt weren’t quite acknowledged and the discord of some beliefs was believed to be coming from someone else, namely, what they’re thinkin, now it seems the guidance is allowed & included and discordant beliefs are being dispelled with clarity. It seems that you are very much allowing the light of awareness to shine on this. Imo the interpretation of cowardice arises as kind of a ‘conditioning’s last stand’, a final ‘giving it everything it’s got’ in an attempt to convince awareness that awareness is at fault, guilty, shameful or the like. Again, just imo, this has been a brilliant allowing of unhealthy thoughts and beliefs to be seen as, for, what they really are… discordant limiting beliefs, conditioning. Another way to put it, the concept of desires leading to happiness, wholeness, innocence and fullness is in question, but less than it previously was. It’s understandable there’s concern arising for how you’ll feel after talking with her. I think you’re dialing into the sentiment indicative of truth in this regard, and at this point stand to feel more as yourself any which way you go about it. Perhaps the fundamental aspect or ‘lesson’ is that happiness is unconditional, present and not contingent on outcomes. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteOwl Posted January 6 Author Share Posted January 6 35 minutes ago, Phil said: strikes me as beautiful, awesome, freeing and empowering. it is. more deep crying when reading this. This last period been so crazy. Need to eat some food soon in my life. 36 minutes ago, Phil said: It’s understandable there’s concern arising for how you’ll feel after talking with her. Yes i guess there is still some small background hope that ill finally have worked through all the stuff and will come out and win her with my wholeness. Just a way to say it. Probably not going to happen. After it might be that. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted January 6 Share Posted January 6 ♥️ Not eating is emptying. Allowing the body to really clean out. It’s natural. Be mindful however, if it’s about substances and or unaligned food. Don’t throw the baby (eating as a whole) out with the bathwater (that which has been realized to not be serving, or, not aligned with preferences, desires, intention). If I were in your shoes I’d go to the grocery store today and feel each food / section with the entire body as you stand in front of it, and eat what resonates. Starving can be a subtle form of self sabotage. Love that body, nourish it, allow it access to the perfectly occurring balance of what grows, as in not processed “foods” (garbage). When ‘the ol’ backdrop narrative’ arises, about there being a second self, the ‘worker’, working through… simply notice. There is no need to do any work, or change anything. Just be aware of the thoughts, and that they are thoughts, and that there is momentum, and that momentum is changing in the orientation of alignment. Allow the eating of some healthy choices to be the visceral confirmation of this as you enjoy the eating of it. Contemplatively & logically, carried out to it’s conclusion - hope can not pan out. Hope is for a future and a future is never experienced. Now is the beauty of you, the creator-ship of you, the majesty and mystery, of you. This, undefinable, doesn’t come & go, isn’t it so? She, comes & goes, yes? Happiness as well doesn’t come & go, thoughts arise, might obscure, but that which is seemingly, temporarily, fleetingly obscured isn’t coming & going. Therein is the peace of being. Let all arising knowing (thoughts about really) go, feel into the breath, the truth, the true nature, feel into the abundance of yourself as awareness. In simple dudeness, if you & her were a fit, she’d have told other dude to fuck off. Be thankful for time saved, and look forward to what experience and preference are already creating in terms of the girl who next comes along. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted January 6 Share Posted January 6 @WhiteOwl Desire isn't dualistic, and it isn't of the character. Captain Ahab doesn't actually know what he wants because he's only ever Herman Melville (and not even). In the Vortex there is neither a rigid need, nor a lack of the spark and joy of desire, or current appreciation. It's just unconditional. It doesn't know how it will be written, how it concludes, how or where the last chapter ends, just that writing and creating is surprising, naturally full of contrast where nothing is really risked, and feels amazing now. I don't think there's anything more attractive than someone who appreciates the moment and doesn't need to possess or control, but also isn't going anywhere vibrationally because he knows his feeling alive isn't the result of conditions or what or who he is with. There's no looking for grass that's greener, because it's no reflection on him. Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteOwl Posted January 6 Author Share Posted January 6 1 hour ago, Phil said: In simple dudeness, if you & her were a fit, she’d have told other dude to fuck off. They are very long term friends. He was the gf of her best friend for 5 years. We were talking about him a lot while he was away. She didn't give me the impression that she was into him at any point. But who knows. He is into her though for sure. Anyways i guess things would still look differently if she thought things were a fit. 49 minutes ago, Mandy said: I don't think there's anything more attractive than someone who appreciates the moment and doesn't need to possess or control Like thats not where we are all trying to get to 😛 Tell me about it Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteOwl Posted January 6 Author Share Posted January 6 1 hour ago, Phil said: Not eating is emptying. Allowing the body to really clean out. It’s natural. Be mindful however, if it’s about substances and or unaligned food. Don’t throw the baby (eating as a whole) out with the bathwater (that which has been realized to not be serving, or, not aligned with preferences, desires, intention). If I were in your shoes I’d go to the grocery store today and feel each food / section with the entire body as you stand in front of it, and eat what resonates. Starving can be a subtle form of self sabotage. Love that body, nourish it, allow it access to the perfectly occurring balance of what grows, as in not processed “foods” (garbage). Its not about those things. I eat quite healthy when i eat. Just not a lot of appetite when emotions are surfacing Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted January 6 Share Posted January 6 27 minutes ago, WhiteOwl said: They are very long term friends. He was the gf of her best friend for 5 years. We were talking about him a lot while he was away. She didn't give me the impression that she was into him at any point. But who knows. He is into her though for sure. Anyways i guess things would still look differently if she thought things were a fit. I still wonder about hearing it from her. 24 minutes ago, WhiteOwl said: Its not about those things. I eat quite healthy when i eat. Just not a lot of appetite when emotions are surfacing Yep. Understandable. The body’s pretty smart. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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