Bash me thread

[Reena]

I think that people in the past have said that I'm impervious to criticism. I might be. I don't want to always assume that I'm right. I should also try to sometimes be on the other fence. Language and communication can mess up so many things and I'm not a native English speaker so it's always a bit hard for me. 

I always have had communication barriers but lately that has gotten a bit better 

 

I feel like I always have some critics floating around me wherever I go, whichever community I join. It puzzles me because I'm generally polite at face value. Yet if someone was too close, I can bring out my demons in full throttle. 

 

I wanna know what you find disgusting about me. Some of these critics or people wanna comment on my journal to let me know that, I think that's a space that is not meant for argument and debate because it can block the free flow of thought and derail thinking. It's best to have such conversations, debates etc on the forum instead. 

 

So I get that I'm disgusting to some people and they wanna attack me as much as possible to get out their inner angst against me or whatever they are trying to do. 

 

I should not block their thoughts or desires even if doing this might not be the best idea. So I decided why not be a bit more open to criticism. (my intense social anxiety inhibited me from doing this before). 

It's good that despite my social trauma around people I'm beginning to rethink all my positions on how I behave around people in general. It's a  new perspective. I used to be hella scared of bullying 

 

Now I'm like if people want to hurt me, let them hurt. It might feel like a needle. But it will pass. The pin prick is only for a few seconds and then it's gone. 

 

Bash me on this thread as much as you want. At least I will get some feedback on my self. Thanks. 

 

I might respond as I see fit or I will simply consume all that criticism and probably note it down for future assessment of my character. 

 

 

[Blessed2]

Smoke and mirrors.

 

 

Edited December 26, 2023 by Blessed2

[Reena]

@Blessed2 I did not understand what you meant. 

[Phil]

2 hours ago, Reena said:

I think that people in the past have said that I'm impervious to criticism. I might be. I don't want to always assume that I'm right. I should also try to sometimes be on the other fence. Language and communication can mess up so many things and I'm not a native English speaker so it's always a bit hard for me. 

I always have had communication barriers but lately that has gotten a bit better 

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/awareness-of-thoughts

 

2 hours ago, Reena said:

 

I feel like I always have some critics floating around me wherever I go, whichever community I join. It puzzles me because I'm generally polite at face value. Yet if someone was too close, I can bring out my demons in full throttle. 

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/what-is-projection

 

2 hours ago, Reena said:

 

I wanna know what you find disgusting about me. Some of these critics or people wanna comment on my journal to let me know that, I think that's a space that is not meant for argument and debate because it can block the free flow of thought and derail thinking. It's best to have such conversations, debates etc on the forum instead. 

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/self-referential-thoughts

 

2 hours ago, Reena said:

 

So I get that I'm disgusting to some people and they wanna attack me as much as possible to get out their inner angst against me or whatever they are trying to do.

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/what-is-projection

 

2 hours ago, Reena said:

I should not block their thoughts or desires even if doing this might not be the best idea. So I decided why not be a bit more open to criticism. (my intense social anxiety inhibited me from doing this before). 

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/subject-objects-thoughts

 

2 hours ago, Reena said:

 

It's good that despite my social trauma around people I'm beginning to rethink all my positions on how I behave around people in general. It's a  new perspective. I used to be hella scared of bullying 

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/the-emotional-scale

 

2 hours ago, Reena said:

Now I'm like if people want to hurt me, let them hurt. It might feel like a needle. But it will pass. The pin prick is only for a few seconds and then it's gone. 

 

Bash me on this thread as much as you want. At least I will get some feedback on my self. Thanks. 

 

I might respond as I see fit or I will simply consume all that criticism and probably note it down for future assessment of my character. 

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/just-let-source-take-out-the-garbage

 

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/creator-creating-creation-contemplation

[Reena]

@Phil you didn't put a dime of effort into telling me anything.

 

If you wanna make a child understand something in life, you should have a semi decent conversation with them. That would be a good start. 

 

Bad parenting means you throw books into a child's room and tell them to read. 

 

Good parenting means you sit with your kid, hold them close and explain to them what you mean and have hours worth of communication patiently answering their questions and explaining your opinions and suggestions. 

 

That's how it's done. 

 

The problem with you is that you just want to enjoy the illusion of doing something but actually achieving nothing. This is what I call a One way communication street. 

 

That's why I call you the Master of Flim Flam. 

 

Sir, You are a bad parent. 

 

 

[Phil]

2 minutes ago, Reena said:

@Phil you didn't put a dime of effort into telling me anything.

 

If you wanna make a child understand something in life, you should have a semi decent conversation with them. That would be a good start. 

 

Bad parenting means you throw books into a child's room and tell them to read. 

 

Good parenting means you sit with your kid, hold them close and explain to them what you mean and have hours worth of communication patiently answering their questions and explaining your opinions and suggestions. 

 

That's how it's done. 

 

The problem with you is that you just want to enjoy the illusion of doing something but actually achieving nothing. This is what I call a One way communication street. 

 

That's why I call you the Master of Flim Flam. 

 

Sir, You are a bad parent. 

 

 

Observe, and as judgments arise, be aware of & feel the judgment, and see that it comes and goes. Then the difference between observation with judgement, and observation without judgement is noticed, and the difference in how it feels to believe thoughts and let thoughts go is experienced. 

[Blessed2]

1 hour ago, Reena said:

@Blessed2 I did not understand what you meant. 

 

You reflect light very brightly. Like a very shiny mirror. It can hurt the eyes sometimes.

 

[Reena]

50 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

 

You reflect light very brightly. Like a very shiny mirror. It can hurt the eyes sometimes.

 

I don't appreciate it when people talk in circles but whatever. Seems to be a thing with spiritual ego. They simply can't be expected to do better.

[Phil]

WHAT IS DEFLECTION?

 

In essence, deflection is the mind's way of avoiding difficult emotions, or simply put; the mind’s aversion from feeling.

 

It's a reflexive and habitual response stemming from a misunderstanding of the truth & true nature of identity & experience.

 

When discordant thoughts arise that bring discomfort or suffering, deflection occurs when emotions & feeling are pushed aside & ignored, in favor of mental activity.

Suppression is perpetuated by believing concepts, as well as arising justifications & rationalizations for continuing to do so. As the justifications & rationalizations are believed, the discord, or, suffering, as well as unwanted & regretful actions & behaviors persist.

 

Deflection, or, aversion from feeling, manifests in various behavioral ways, such as shutting down emotionally, mentally and or bodily, blaming, guilting, shaming, resenting, using humor as a defense mechanism, intellectualizing, conceptualizing, philosophizing, changing the topic, sarcasm, denial, resorting to religious concepts like blaming a devil, procrastination of acknowledging & addressing deflection & projection, refusing to engage in conversation which confronts discordant beliefs, overreacting, twisting what someone said, denying responsibility for words, action & behaviors, excessive self criticism, spiritual bypassing, applying academic or psychological logic, engaging in distractions, unwillingness for vulnerability, or even resorting to identifying with thoughts believed such as via assumed roles like victim and or abuser.

 

Rather than allowing difficult emotions to be fully felt, and interpretation to change, deflection is a focusing on maintaining and defending beliefs, being right, how one is seen, self image, reputation, and all manors of seeking validation - all at the expense of, how one feels as it were.

 

Rather than acknowledging the emotions already experienced & felt, deflection is a projecting of the discord of emotional suppression, of the very emotions suppressed, onto others or “mental self” of a past or future. Assuming & accusing, blaming, guilting, shaming, etc.

 

In accordance with the experience of deflection & projection of emotion, it indeed does very much seem emotion is not how thoughts & interpretations feel, but that how one feels so to speak, is caused by someone else’s actions or behaviors, or certain circumstances or situations.

 

Deflection acts as a mental barrier, preventing the release of cultural conditioning & emotional discord, and also therein preventing the insight & clarity (feeling) which would otherwise by unfettered, or unobscured.

 

SO, WHAT CAN ONE DO TO BE WITHOUT DEFLECTION?

 

First and foremost, shift focus from thoughts, beliefs & interpretations - to how you feel. Reprioritize in the name of self-love. Liberation from deflection and the suffering & isolation therein begins with noticing and acknowledging deflective behaviors - even if it's initially in hindsight.

 

In noticing the deflective behaviors, begin to embrace the emotions which are being projected. Empty expression in any healthy manor such as therapy, journaling, or any virtually endless creative outlets.

 

Via expressing & emptying discordant interpretations, focus, or, the lens, is unfettered. Cleared. Relieved of the ‘carried weight’ of beliefs, misinterpretations, misunderstanding & misidentification.

 

Awareness, presence, naturally shines through as was already the case, only not, more unfettered.

 

Prior to thoughts, emotions, actions & behaviors - as awareness - much clarity and a great many resonating & resounding insights arise. ‘Making sense’ changes from ‘being right’, to alignment of thoughts with feeling. Stubbornness, animosity and resentments naturally begin to fade away as much compassion is realized & much synchronicity is experienced.

 

Consciously creating, honesty, sincerity & authenticity in words, actions and being naturally ensues. All communication & relationships are de-contextualized of previously held discordant beliefs and the discord of holding them.

 

The release of conditioning can be difficult & challenging and this is where foundation shines. Fundamental practices for the body mind like daily meditation & or yoga, aligned diet, exercise and breath-work, just to name a few, greatly reduce the challenging aspects, as the tendency to habitually belief arising thoughts is greatly dismissed by the feeling of alignment in the orientation of well-being.

 

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/what-is-deflection

[Phil]

WHAT IS PROJECTION?

 

In regard to what’s being shared here, please acknowledge & set aside any expectations that something or someone including yourself should, needs to or is going to change or be changed.

 

Let any framing that sounds like ‘this is a problem’, ‘but the problem is’ go. The aim here isn’t to make anything different than it is or to solve a problem. It’s liberation from suffering by seeing things as they are.

 

If you’re already ‘fired up’, the most fundamental simple truth is recognizing this too will pass. Breathing, feeling, remaining present prior to & aware of thoughts & emotions is suggested, as are all manors of alignment, mindfulness & well being.

 

Like a cork, when unfettered & unobscured, our true nature naturally arises. This is always & already the case.

 

The more direct experience is inspected, the more discordant interpretations which result in contraction, tension and stress are seen through, and therein the more clarity & joy is naturally unfettered.

 

Inherently, there will be less reaction, contraction, tension & stress… and more enjoyment, naturally arising appreciation, clarity & response-ability. Simply put, you’ll feel more at home as yourself and life is experienced as lighter, simpler, more carefree & effortless.

 

When judgmental thoughts are experienced, the discord of the thoughts is felt. The discord felt of the judgmental thoughts is one & the same as the reoccurring contraction, tension and stress.

 

When judgmental thoughts are believed, it does not seem like the discord felt is the thoughts.

 

It seems like the thoughts are true, and therein an interpretation arises that the discord felt is because of something or someone else, a past or a future, a me, an I, or a myself.

 

Believed means the thoughts are believed to be true. The discord felt is likewise believed to be caused by what the content of the thoughts suggest. 

 

That is - the interpretation. The interpretation is the discord - but the interpretation is believed to be true. 

 

The discord felt is how judgmental thoughts feel, and now, how the interpretation feels. The discord felt is not felt because the thoughts or interpretation are true. The discord felt is because the thoughts or interpretation are not true.

 

The discord or suffering is of the thoughts, and is not of you. That’s why the discord is felt. Thoughts come & go: awareness (that which is aware of thoughts) does not. The discord is - an interpretation which isn’t resonating - with you; awareness. 

 

The discordant interpretation is believed to be true, even though the interpretation is felt to be, discordant. The contraction, tension & stress reoccur simultaneously with each reoccurrence of the believed discordant interpretation. 

 

The discord felt might be projected via an interpretation being believed, about the discord felt. The interpretation might be that the discord is not how the thoughts feels to you, awareness, but rather that the discord is being caused by what someone said or didn’t say, or did or didn’t do, such as in a past.

 

With momentum of, or, a repeating of, the discordant interpretation…and therein the contraction, tension & stress as well… the discord of the interpretation believed might extend further into accusatory desperation.

 

This might sound like ‘people, others, or groups are out to get me’, or ‘people are following or stalking me’. This momentum of discord, contraction, tension & stress, and the arising interpretation is sometimes labelled as paranoia, insanity, mental disorder, personality disorder, delusion, depression, neurosis, mania, bipolarity, phobia, psychosis or emotional disorder. These labels, or, additional layers of interpretation are employed from a non-direct, ‘second person’, presumed observation. 

In all cases what’s overlooked is the initial discord felt, is how judgmental thoughts feel… prior to any & all interpretations about or names given to, the initial discord felt… which is / was being believed - in spite of feeling the discord of judgmental thoughts. This is like holding one’s hand on a hot stove, while discussing & creating labels, names and theories about the burn. Conceptualizing the burn does not, and can not, lead to clarity & relief. Only removing the hand from the stove results in no longer feeling the burn.

 

 

IN TERMS OF THE SPHERES, WHAT IS PROJECTION?

 

Thoughts appear as the lens-sphere, or, someway-sphere.

Creating occurs as the arising preferences (thoughts) of the lens-sphere are applied to, or carried out in, the world-sphere, or, somewhere-sphere.

That which is feeling discordant thoughts is that which is appearing as the spheres.

 

Aligned thoughts create. Discordant thoughts do not.

A river flows of it’s own accord; a log added adds resistance.

Aligning thought with feeling is therein ‘getting out of one’s own way’.

 

That is, preferences - thoughts… about what’s wanted, to do, be, have and experience - feel good. Aligned thoughts resonate, and thus joy is felt - the joy of alignment, of consciously creating. You are the creator, this is your creation. All that is, is, because you created it, are creating it - by being it.

 

Thoughts about shortage, lack or the absence of what’s wanted feel discordant because you are infinite, because you are Creator-Creating-Creation.

Thoughts of judgement feel discordant because you are unconditional.

 

Thoughts of impatience, pressure, hurried-ness and unnecessary urgency feel discordant because you are eternal.

 

Thoughts about yourself which feel discordant, feel discordant because you are infinite perfection.

 

Conditioning occurs innocently via beliefs, because to be the spheres, to be experience - is to overlook, that you are infinite, eternal, unconditional perfection - which is being the spheres.

 

The root or ground floor of conditioning is the belief in subjects & objects. Most simply put - in separation; and therein, comparative thoughts arise. In overlooking the unconditionality you are, the discord of judgmental and comparative thoughts ‘point’ to the truth of your unconditionality, inherently in that these thoughts feel discordant.

 

As it’s believed there is that which is not not me - it’s simultaneously believed - I am this body. That you are being the body is overlooked, by the belief that you are the body.

 

It’s then believed you are somebody, somewhere. A person, on earth. The illusion of “I’m here” is an illusion of believing apparent thoughts. “I’m here” is based on “I’m not there”. “There” is linguistically common and obviously practical, yet in terms of direct experience, a “there” is never actually experienced.

 

 

WHY IS THIS?

The root or ground floor of discordant belief(s) is that of the subject object nature of thoughts. There is nothing at all ‘wrong’ with any thoughts. That would be a judgmental thought about thoughts, and that judgmental thought would feel discordant.

 

Attempts to ‘stop discordant thoughts’ are attempts to feel better, while overlooking the discord is of the thoughts, and in truth you are feeling, which is feeling, the discordant & alignment of - thoughts. There is not a ‘second self’ that thought is about, which will or could feel better in a future, or as a result of doing - because you are already feeling, and feeling, in so far as the word can point to that which is aware of - is already nondual, unconditional goodness.

 

Looking more closely into direct experience, it can be noticed that the thought “I’m here” is a subject-object thought. A dualistic implication. A thought implying there is a ‘second self’, which is not ‘there’, and is ‘here’. A subject, and an object; I’m - here.

 

The discord of limiting beliefs is readily felt as & by the Wholeness, Completeness, Truth, Perfection you actually, already - are.

 

As you are what you’re overlooking, and have innocently created beliefs about yourself, others, and the ‘world’ you are being… conditioning has already occurred. Misinterpretation. Misunderstanding. Misidentification. All arising of and as pure innocence, overlooking.

 

What is inevitably realized with respect to discord or suffering, is that what’s felt, are the thoughts, beliefs, misinterpretations, misunderstandings - misidentification… and there discord is felt because of the truth, or, true nature.

 

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/what-is-projection

[Blessed2]

[Phil]

☺️

[Reena]

@Phil bash me some more 

 

[Phil]

1 minute ago, Reena said:

@Phil bash me some more 

 

Because humor is relief and relief is clarifying, or to feed into a discordant narrative?

Fully loaded & ready to rock here, just makin sure we’re on the same page. 

[Reena]

Just now, Phil said:

Because humor is relief and relief is clarifying, or to feed into a discordant narrative?

I want some bashing humor. 

[Phil]

@Reena

You’re doing really great with the suggested methods. 

[Reena]

@Phil I suck at reading between the lines. 

[Phil]

@Reena

That’s just the alcohol talkin, go back to sleep. 

[Reena]

@Phil oh ok

[Reena]

Me after reading the entire thread -