A Fundamental Feeling of Wrongness

[Orb]

I've been sick for a few days and it was a blessing because it allowed me to spontaneously stop ingesting caffeine and now deeper emotions have come up. 

 

I meditated for the first time in a few days today and could feel a feeling I instinctively felt from childhood, like 3-4 years old. 

 

It's this fundamental sense of wrongness, like this essential fear of emptiness. I know the emptiness thing may sound weird but it's forreal, I remember feeling this as a child. I'm loving it and feeling it deeply. 

 

Just wanted to share.

[Blessed2]

1 hour ago, Orb said:

It's this fundamental sense of wrongness, like this essential fear of emptiness.

 

I noticed the same thing a while time ago and actually contemplated on it yesterday.

 

I think ACIM does a great job in uncovering it. Also Communion with God by Neale Walsch.

 

AoB does great job in acknowledging there is no fear of anything, but that fear is how certain thoughts feel. That there is no such thing as a separate fearer, but that fear is an emotion you experience.

 

I think it's the root of suffering. Would go a bit more specific with the "wrongness", I'd say it's guilt.

 

Guilt and fear. The two lowest on the emotional scale. How thoughts implying separation feels like.

 

A few years ago I took a bit too much shrooms and ended up having suicidal delusions, like that the world is a dream and I have to be brave enough to escape it by committing suicide.

 

As healing from the trip proceeded, I started noticing the same theme playing out deeply in our "collective unconscious".

 

Isn't it weird how in cultures and religions all around the world, at some point in time, we used to sacrifice animals or people? (And still do in many places, actually.)

 

Isn't it weird how christians believe that the only way for God to save humanity, was to send his own son to die? It's like some folk noticed that sacrificing all those animals and normal humans wasn't really doing anything, so even bigger sacrifice is needed. The purest of the purest needs to die. God's son. "Jesus died for our sins." How? Huh? How does dying have anything to do with our sins? How does one "die for sins"? 😁 It's the same belief as animal sacrifice, in that death is some kind of correction of wrongness.

 

Brings in mind an ACIM quote that really hit when I saw it: "Fear of death is actually allure of death."

 

It's also funny (sad) that even though according to christians, Jesus died for our sins and saved the world, the world still isn't quite "saved". Nothing new under the sun, same shit as before Jesus.

 

When I was having that horrifying trip, I remember that the life of Jesus came in mind and I experienced a thought that it was like a message from me to myself, in a solipsistic bubble, telling me that I need to commit suicide to get to heaven, to fix the 'wrongness' I thought was there.

 

That's the overarching theme of our cultural story. Something is wrong, and someone needs to die for it. Some form of sacrifice is needed. That happiness requires giving up something, and the ultimate happiness requires the ultimate sacrifice. This I would say, is the fundamental basis of the ego's thinking system as ACIM would put it. And don't get me started with solipsism and "avoidance of truth".

 

Eventually an insight dawned, in the form of: "The ego is that which cannot accept the truth, for the truth seems too good to be true."

 

 

Edited December 5, 2023 by Blessed2

[Mandy]

Not so fun da mental. 😂

[Phil]

 

 

[Orb]

5 hours ago, Phil said:

 

 

Not sure how this is connected 🤔 

[Orb]

5 hours ago, Mandy said:

Not so fun da mental. 😂

🤪🤪

[Orb]

6 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

 

I noticed the same thing a while time ago and actually contemplated on it yesterday.

 

I think ACIM does a great job in uncovering it. Also Communion with God by Neale Walsch.

 

AoB does great job in acknowledging there is no fear of anything, but that fear is how certain thoughts feel. That there is no such thing as a separate fearer, but that fear is an emotion you experience.

 

I think it's the root of suffering. Would go a bit more specific with the "wrongness", I'd say it's guilt.

 

Guilt and fear. The two lowest on the emotional scale. How thoughts implying separation feels like.

 

A few years ago I took a bit too much shrooms and ended up having suicidal delusions, like that the world is a dream and I have to be brave enough to escape it by committing suicide.

 

As healing from the trip proceeded, I started noticing the same theme playing out deeply in our "collective unconscious".

 

Isn't it weird how in cultures and religions all around the world, at some point in time, we used to sacrifice animals or people? (And still do in many places, actually.)

 

Isn't it weird how christians believe that the only way for God to save humanity, was to send his own son to die? It's like some folk noticed that sacrificing all those animals and normal humans wasn't really doing anything, so even bigger sacrifice is needed. The purest of the purest needs to die. God's son. "Jesus died for our sins." How? Huh? How does dying have anything to do with our sins? How does one "die for sins"? 😁 It's the same belief as animal sacrifice, in that death is some kind of correction of wrongness.

 

Brings in mind an ACIM quote that really hit when I saw it: "Fear of death is actually allure of death."

 

It's also funny (sad) that even though according to christians, Jesus died for our sins and saved the world, the world still isn't quite "saved". Nothing new under the sun, same shit as before Jesus.

 

When I was having that horrifying trip, I remember that the life of Jesus came in mind and I experienced a thought that it was like a message from me to myself, in a solipsistic bubble, telling me that I need to commit suicide to get to heaven, to fix the 'wrongness' I thought was there.

 

That's the overarching theme of our cultural story. Something is wrong, and someone needs to die for it. Some form of sacrifice is needed. That happiness requires giving up something, and the ultimate happiness requires the ultimate sacrifice. This I would say, is the fundamental basis of the ego's thinking system as ACIM would put it. And don't get me started with solipsism and "avoidance of truth".

 

Eventually an insight dawned, in the form of: "The ego is that which cannot accept the truth, for the truth seems too good to be true."

 

 

Hm, I don't experience any sacrifice right now. I just felt like a child earlier today which was interesting. 

[solereproduction]

On 12/5/2023 at 5:49 AM, Orb said:

I've been sick for a few days and it was a blessing because it allowed me to spontaneously stop ingesting caffeine and now deeper emotions have come up. 

 

I meditated for the first time in a few days today and could feel a feeling I instinctively felt from childhood, like 3-4 years old. 

 

It's this fundamental sense of wrongness, like this essential fear of emptiness. I know the emptiness thing may sound weird but it's forreal, I remember feeling this as a child. I'm loving it and feeling it deeply. 

 

Just wanted to share.

Leaning to communicate after birth is essential, and what one learns during communicating makes one's brain feel out of place, not becoming a character on a world stage like their older siblings, parents, grandparents, etc.

 

See staging what humanity becomes tomorrow requires every ancestor to give up adapting as displaced to achieve reality.  Since 3 or 4 years old your instinctive brain knows your intellectual selected mind isn't being honest about adapting to space only timed apart here.

 

That missing link to occupying time never same results twice with a body never duplicating each last accomplishment changing everything done forward, now.  Here is the only space you know and society says you don't know anything without consensus facts about creating better tomorrows next rotation of the planet your body isn't going to be the same as it was last rotation to the moment here.

 

There is an old joke, "Where ever I am, here is where I am, me.

 

How does anyone get lost, when their sole brain never functions outside their own skin but in conversations people of many generations can imagine existing beyond the moment here?

Edited December 13, 2023 by solereproduction