Serenity Posted November 27, 2023 Share Posted November 27, 2023 It's just a rant. But I am tired of having what Eckhart Tolle calls a painbody. I hate it. It hurts. I want it all to leave and disappear for good. I recognize it in my nervous system as feelings of duality that are present in a whole range of spectrum. From very dense and painful (fear, unworthiness, anger) to just mildly uncomfortable. I want it all to clear up. I keep expressing (hours per day!!!!!!), doing ceremonies, aligning myself with my purpose. But it feels like it's not enough and it's still hurting in an excruciating way. Yeah. Who is hurting. BLABLABLA. I know. The ego is hurting. Not the real self. But I still operate from the ego level and i'm just interested in turning it somewhat functional first. Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted November 27, 2023 Author Share Posted November 27, 2023 Today also I am grumpy. Sorry not sorry. I suffer. Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted November 27, 2023 Author Share Posted November 27, 2023 There is still so much emotional dirt in my nervous system that I am shaking in a subtile way. Also, having an overeactive nervous system sucks. Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted November 27, 2023 Author Share Posted November 27, 2023 Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted November 27, 2023 Author Share Posted November 27, 2023 I hate it, i hate it, I hate. I understand why humans numb themselves and distract AWAY from that crap!!!! Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted November 27, 2023 Author Share Posted November 27, 2023 MORE AWARENESS IS THE ONLY REAL CURE. Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted November 27, 2023 Author Share Posted November 27, 2023 (edited) ALL IS OOOOOOOONE. ALL IS OOOOOOONE UNDERSTOOD AT THE NERVOUS SYSTEM LEVEL. 🤣 (yes, I am fine) Edited November 27, 2023 by Serenity Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted November 27, 2023 Author Share Posted November 27, 2023 Actualityofbeing.com be like "who's got a nervous system". 😂 Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted November 27, 2023 Share Posted November 27, 2023 Where does awareness go when there is distraction? I think a cute panda rolling is totally distracting and exactly in order. How do you get "more" awareness? What does a painbody look like? How do you align with a purpose? What's a lifetime? How do I know I've had one? Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted November 27, 2023 Share Posted November 27, 2023 Just now, Serenity said: Actualityofbeing.com be like "who's got a nervous system". 😂 😂 Nice story about nervous systems, are little pandas with purple hats in charge of running that thing? What's behind it? I love stories, but tell me a more satisfying one. Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted November 27, 2023 Author Share Posted November 27, 2023 1 minute ago, Mandy said: 😂 Nice story about nervous systems, are little pandas with purple hats in charge of running that thing? What's behind it? I love stories, but tell me a more satisfying one. No, it's awareness. It's all awareness. The nervous system itself is awareness. AAAAAAHHHHHH. So it's awareness experiencing suffering and the impression of being two. Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted November 27, 2023 Author Share Posted November 27, 2023 4 minutes ago, Mandy said: What does a painbody look like? It feels like awareness experiencing pain and a memory of separation? Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted November 27, 2023 Share Posted November 27, 2023 5 minutes ago, Serenity said: It feels like awareness experiencing pain and a memory of separation? Why not pandas? Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted November 27, 2023 Author Share Posted November 27, 2023 2 minutes ago, Mandy said: Why not pandas? Well that's the question. I want pandas, mandy. 😂 Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted November 27, 2023 Author Share Posted November 27, 2023 The good panda life. Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted November 27, 2023 Share Posted November 27, 2023 Pandas howling at the full moon! Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted November 27, 2023 Share Posted November 27, 2023 2 minutes ago, Serenity said: Well that's the question. I want pandas, mandy. 😂 WELL GODDAMN IT, HAVE THE PANDAS! What is barring you from pandas? Personally, an actual panda would be a lot, I can't even keep chickens, so panda gifs and ridiculous ideas about pandas are exactly the kind of pandas I want. How can I complain? Everything I want right here. Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted November 27, 2023 Share Posted November 27, 2023 Pain body panda. 😂 Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted November 27, 2023 Author Share Posted November 27, 2023 40 minutes ago, Mandy said: Pandas howling at the full moon! Panwolf babies 😍 37 minutes ago, Mandy said: WELL GODDAMN IT, HAVE THE PANDAS! What is barring you from pandas? Personally, an actual panda would be a lot, I can't even keep chickens, so panda gifs and ridiculous ideas about pandas are exactly the kind of pandas I want. How can I complain? Everything I want right here. How do I get pandas without suppressing/repressing the painbody? CONFUSIONS PREVENTS PANDA!!! We already have pandas. Happy pandas in nature. Being beautiful and happy for us all. AWWW.❤️ 33 minutes ago, Mandy said: Pain body panda. 😂 Some of my favorite commercials 😍. 😬 Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted November 27, 2023 Share Posted November 27, 2023 You just enjoy the pandas. There isn't a painbody and repression is impossible because you are feeling itself already. Repression would be avoiding the feeling by believing it to be something else. Like a painbody. Or depression. Or someone's fault. Of that time of the month. Or the full moon. Or November. Or what you ate that morning. It doesn't exclude it it's just moving to what's wanted. I can never be happy again because I ate something bad for breakfast in 2000 and now I'm just repressing the memory and trauma of the bad box of cinnamon toast crunch my mom bought on clearance. Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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