Rape dreams(trigger warning)

[Reena]

12 minutes ago, Reena said:

Interpretation 10- craving domination and authority. 

This seems to be a powerful plausible explanation. An alternative explanation for the rape dreams. 

 

Interpretation 12 - feeling of Adoption. 

I feel like the rapist should adopt me. Keep me. Keep a warm bed for me. Feed me. Clothe me. 

 

The infantile needs probably arise from a huge chunk of my childhood where I was neglected. Left with scars or sores. Left to just suffer in a corner and without love and empathy. 

 

This feeling of "being taken" or "being adopted" is constant throughout all the rape dreams. It's a constant recurrent theme. 

 

I put the moral responsibility on the rapist to adopt me. 

This makes me feel secure like a typical Hostage situation. 

 

[Reena]

Just now, Reena said:

Interpretation 12 - feeling of Adoption. 

I feel like the rapist should adopt me. Keep me. Keep a warm bed for me. Feed me. Clothe me. 

 

The infantile needs probably arise from a huge chunk of my childhood where I was neglected. Left with scars or sores. Left to just suffer in a corner and without love and empathy. 

 

This feeling of "being taken" or "being adopted" is constant throughout all the rape dreams. It's a constant recurrent theme. 

 

I put the moral responsibility on the rapist to adopt me. 

This makes me feel secure like a typical Hostage situation. 

 

Interpretation 13 - a very powerful interpretation came to my mind. 

This interpretation is - I crave love from an tyrannt authority figure. The validation I wanted. The love and credibility I wanted. The despair I felt for not being able to properly receive love and validation as a child. 

Why do I want the rapist to love me? 

Because I seek his validation. He is an authority figure in my mind, a boogeyman. 

That is why I imagine the rapist to be a police officer. A powerful figure. Someone in position of power and authority. Why? 

Because this is related to the authority I was shown as a child. I was shown excessive force, neglect, narcissistic abuse and tyranny. 

In all of this I'm looking for the love and validation of the narcissistic parent authority. It seems to elude me. It seems to not come to me. This love and validation I want from them. They never seem to give me. I'm always left deprived.. 

 

[Reena]

18 minutes ago, Reena said:

Interpretation 12 - feeling of Adoption. 

I feel like the rapist should adopt me. Keep me. Keep a warm bed for me. Feed me. Clothe me. 

 

The infantile needs probably arise from a huge chunk of my childhood where I was neglected. Left with scars or sores. Left to just suffer in a corner and without love and empathy. 

 

This feeling of "being taken" or "being adopted" is constant throughout all the rape dreams. It's a constant recurrent theme. 

 

I put the moral responsibility on the rapist to adopt me. 

This makes me feel secure like a typical Hostage situation. 

 

Interpretation 14 - Devoid of love. 

 

I remember Leo telling me on the forum that back in the day that I was always lacking in love. Always devoid of love. He was right. 

I had never received the love of a parent. Nobody hugged me as a child. 

 

The rapist fills the void of me feeling devoid of love. 

 

Edited November 16, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

5 minutes ago, Reena said:

Interpretation 14 - Devoid of love. 

 

I remember Leo telling me on the forum that back in the day that I was always lacking in love. Always devoid of love. He was right. 

I had never received the love of a parent. Nobody hugged me as a child. 

Interpretation 15 - freedom feels dangerous. 

Not wanting to be liberated. Wanting to be trapped 

Wanting to remain in a hostage situation. 

 

[Reena]

1 minute ago, Reena said:

Interpretation 15 - freedom feels dangerous. 

Not wanting to be liberated. Wanting to be trapped 

Wanting to remain in a hostage situation. 

 

Interpretation 16 - damage from narcissistic abuse. 

The rape dreams could be a fall out of narcissistic abuse. The Damage that was left trailing behind after the period of narcissistic abuse. The vestigial component or remnant of abuse. 

 

Like ravages of war and what is left afterward. 

[Reena]

12 minutes ago, Reena said:

Interpretation 14 - Devoid of love. 

 

I remember Leo telling me on the forum that back in the day that I was always lacking in love. Always devoid of love. He was right. 

I had never received the love of a parent. Nobody hugged me as a child. 

 

The rapist fills the void of me feeling devoid of love. 

 

Interpretation 17 -. Ask her how she wants to be loved. 

 

Have you ever asked a child how they want to be loved? 

 

Most narcissistic parents deliberately hold back this entitlement from their children. They will never ask that one question - how do you wish to be loved? 

Because this question takes away power from them. This is an impossibility. 

Since the power has to be retained, they will reserve the right to show love the way they want to show it. 

 

[Reena]

8 minutes ago, Reena said:

Interpretation 15 - freedom feels dangerous. 

Not wanting to be liberated. Wanting to be trapped 

Wanting to remain in a hostage situation. 

 

Interpretation 18 - Violation. 

The rape dreams indicate a violation. 

A violation of my consent and dignity. I'm resisting it. That means I don't want it. But it's happening anyway. This represents some form of violation. 

 

This violation has perhaps happened at some stage in childhood. 

 

 

 

[Reena]

2 minutes ago, Reena said:

Interpretation 18 - Violation. 

The rape dreams indicate a violation. 

A violation of my consent and dignity. I'm resisting it. That means I don't want it. But it's happening anyway. This represents some form of violation. 

 

This violation has perhaps happened at some stage in childhood. 

 

 

 

Interpretation 19 - a secure attachment was never shown. 

The rape dreams are an indication that a secure attachment was never shown. 

 

[Orb]

@Reena okay you have 19 interpretations, what are you gonna do shuffle them like they're cards? Are you just collecting interpretations now? How is this helping?

[Alexander]

@Orb She just seeks attention.

[Reena]

2 minutes ago, Reena said:

Interpretation 19 - a secure attachment was never shown. 

The rape dreams are an indication that a secure attachment was never shown. 

 

Interpretation 20 - oppressive, tyrannical, elements. The romanticism of tyranny. 

[Reena]

5 minutes ago, Orb said:

@Reena okay you have 19 interpretations, what are you gonna do shuffle them like they're cards? Are you just collecting interpretations now? How is this helping?

It's helping me get clues on why it's happening. Then I'll probably look for ways to see any healthy aspects of it or if it's useful in trauma release. I'm also trying to seek closure on aspects of the dream. 

[Reena]

If you think it's for attention, I can't change your need to put a negative spin on what I'm doing for my own sake. All I can say is that this process of interpretation of my thoughts is benefitting my trauma and the things I cope or deal with 

 

Sadly it is you who is giving me the attention I don't want and thwarting my process of trauma release. 

Look at yourself. You come here on purpose. I didn't invite you. 

 

I expect moderators to discipline this person's constant triggering behavior. 

If my behavior triggers you in some way you can always choose to not participate in my thread but you won't stop the triggering right? 

Notice how I avoid you and don't participate in any of your threads.

 

Man maybe it is you who is looking for my attention I guess. The hypocrisy. 

If you don't like a TV channel you just switch and watch something else. 

No need to block my attempts to express and empty mind. 

Maybe you don't have better things to do with your life. That's why.

Coming to my thread, triggering me deliberately and starting a war with me. 

Maybe that's your agenda. 

My God this man will never leave me alone for fuck sake. 

I have screenshotted you. 

 

[Reena]

Can moderator please tell this person to stop triggering me. He has a whole history of bullying me. I'm fed up and sick of it 

[Reena]

They think that I'm doing it for attention when this process is so important to me. 

 

Look if you want to despise, humiliate and denigrate me by calling it attention seeking, then there is a simple solution to your misery, just stop giving attention and I will guarantee you I'll be perfectly fine without your goddamn attention because I don't need it in the first place. 

What a bunch of weird people. 

 

[Reena]

I'm simply trying to seek some answers and clues to my problem and trying to see if I can get some major breakthroughs in my interpretations and of course emptying myself which trauma victims often do. 

 

Like what the hell is your problem to constantly provoke me and make me defensive and irritate me to no end? What's your achievement from it? 

 

I start a thread to discuss my issues and look for things that relate to it. 

I don't do it for your attention. 

 

You can very well reserve your attention for your other nasty objectives in life. Spare me your worthless attention please. 

 

[Reena]

This guy gets on my nerves. So annoying. Constantly tries to bully me. And blocks my attempt to reach out to others by influencing people against me. 

And if you all assume that it's for attention then my humble plead is to leave me goddamn alone to my own shell and hell so I don't have to deal with your negativity. 

Enough. 

[Mandy]

2 hours ago, Reena said:

Powerlessness. 

What if emotional compatibility is feeling the way a good relationship would feel to you?

 

Do you prefer the fantasy to the reality? Are you doing the same thing so many young men do that watch too much porn,  and never talk to actual women their age? Are you "too good for" the men that are around you? Or are they not emotionally exciting enough? What if they are all that and more, it's just what you've trained yourself to notice and overlook? 

 

The desire to integrate with power is the desire to stop being powerless, to own your power, to feel better. It won't harm you to do this, it is out of love for yourself. The man in the uniform is a man that is focused, he knows what he is there for and wants to achieve. Focus on what you want. 

 

Men want strong women as much as women want strong men. What if everyone is just sitting there locked in their own towers, waiting for the other to save them? No one has even bothered to try the lock to see if it's actually locked, (it isn't) they just believe what they were told.  Emotionally, no one is coming to save you, you're the hero in this story set your sights on feeling better, and there's no end to what you can do. 

[Reena]

24 minutes ago, Reena said:

Interpretation 20 - oppressive, tyrannical, elements. The romanticism of tyranny. 

The romanticism of tyranny is a coping mechanism. A coping mechanism against tyranny itself? 

 

This means that there were tyrannical elements in childhood that were controlling, oppressive. 

 

A need to romanticize these elements happens as the brain's way to cope and deal with what happened or what's happening. 

 

 

[Mandy]

14 minutes ago, Reena said:

Can moderator please tell this person to stop triggering me. He has a whole history of bullying me. I'm fed up and sick of it 

Threads are for discussion, journals are for personal insights. If someone is commenting on your journal and you've asked them not to we can take action on that, but this is not a journal, it's a public discussion.