How to let go of pride/vanity

[WhiteOwl]

I notice a feeling of pride, kind of childish vain when i am feeling really good or succeeding with something. I would assume it comes from my competitive "side". I would very much like to be free of that as i don't think its an aligned or good attitude.

How has anyone dealt with this?

[Devin]

      I think it's usually insecurity, worrying what others think. What helps me is living how I want in the less accepted ways(being less fake, etc.), you notice people will have the same attitude no matter what; some will hate you and some will love you, most are so caught up in their own mess of a life they don't think twice about you, and it's regardless of however you are.

 

      There are people like our parents we try to impress with success, but they're either a.) Never truly accepting of you or B.) Always truly accepting of you. So for this it doesn't actually matter if you succeed even though that's what the A.) Group manipulates us into believing(because of their insecurity from the same issue).

[Mandy]

The direct appreciation of yourself isn't wrong at all, because appreciation knows no object/subject separation, it's the thoughts crediting and attributing that later come in and attempt to exclude. So it's not that you are an inappropriate subject of appreciation, that it's wrong to appreciate yourself, it's that you aren't a separate subject at all. When we are a separate subject, we know by how it feels,  and in thoughts like fear, need to prove, need to maintain, the lack of appreciation for other's work or efforts which kills "success" (moment  or fulfillment) like nothing else. It's the attribution that's the issue, a thought is taken for Source.  It doesn't matter if we attribute another person or thing or circumstance for making us happy or ourselves, it's a separate excluded outside thing. "What is Source has no source." Even ourselves, we are that separate outside excluded thing when there are two, and we think ourselves. 😬

[Phil]

You’re the great feeling. 

[Joseph Maynor]

I think it's very difficult for narcissists to forego pride and vanity.  For people who are not narcissists, it can be done by focusing on improving yourself and then making it a rule to come at relationships with abundance.  The person who has a lot of pride and vanity wants something from relationships. You can feel that tug from them.  They're like a relationship parasite.  They're not full and complete in themselves and as themselves.  The person who is coming from a place of abundance, as a relationship relation, is the opposite of this.  You feel they want to give to you, not to get, but from a place of abundance and sharing.  But they're not a right fighter either, because that person wants something too.  The person who acts out a lot of pride and vanity secretly lacks inner sovereignty - they want to get it by social comparison but they don't have it.  If they had it, they wouldn't be hungry for it.  But if you're dealing with someone who's a narcissist, that's just part and parcel of who they are I find.  It's a stable signature of their personality and social relating style.