Let's Talk about my addictions

[Someone here]

So first thing is smoking cigarettes.  I just can't fucking stop despite the negative consequences. I cough a lot .my chest hurts .my lungs are certainly damaged to a high degree .I can't run or do any form of exercise without feeling like Im losing my breath.  Yet I keep smoking half a pack a day for fuck sake. Recently I got into pipe smoking and smoking Cigars . I can't even start my day in the morning without a fat Cigar and some coffee.  Which takes me to the next addiction.  Caffeine  .

From Soda like Pepsi and Coca-Cola to energy drinks to coffee etc . I drink even before bed for few hours .which keeps me awake till 3 AM (despite going to bed midnight).

The last one is rather embarrassing.  Porn . I fucking love beating my meat to porn . I ejaculate once every week or so . But even after cumming and releasing my sexual energy and I get rid of the horny feeling..I still look at porn .and honestly. I feel guilty after watching porn. It's as if I'm cheating on my girlfriend.  Another point is that real sex will just never be as good as porn .talking about "pro " porn not homemade shit . Because in porn you get an endless pool of naked women doing all kinds of sexual acts . That blows my mind away .it will never happen in real life .

So that's about it . These are my three most severe addictions. I'm interested in any advice on how to quit these things and live a free life away from addiction. I can't live my best version of myself while carrying a bunch of addictions .

 

[Blessed2]

Write what you want on the dreamboard. Allow the smoking, coffee drinking and porn watching to be what it is. Allow right now. Do not try to fix anything. Notice how awareness returns to herenow.

 

Read Allen Carr's Easy Way To Stop Smoking.

 

The lung stuff gets better if you shift to nicotine replacement products, snus or chewing tobacco. It's still addictive and might be cancerous etc. but at least you can breathe.

 

Quitting caffeine wasn't as bad for me as I thought it would be. There was maybe three or four hard days, then it was pretty much over. Maybe change to tea first, it has less caffeine. And then start only drinking one cup in the morning. And then cut that.

 

18 minutes ago, Someone here said:

The last one is rather embarrassing.  Porn . I fucking love beating my meat to porn . I ejaculate once every week or so . But even after cumming and releasing my sexual energy and I get rid of the horny feeling..I still look at porn .and honestly. I feel guilty after watching porn. It's as if I'm cheating on my girlfriend.  Another point is that real sex will just never be as good as porn .talking about "pro " porn not homemade shit . Because in porn you get an endless pool of naked women doing all kinds of sexual acts . That blows my mind away .it will never happen in real life .

 

This last one is the only one about which you do not mention any actual negative effects. You don't say stuff like "it hurts my lungs" or keeps you awake at night.

 

You say it's embarassing, makes you feel guilty and then some conceptualizations about pornography and sex in general. This sounds like conditioning and believing thoughts without a physically or psychologically damaging addiction. I'd just allow it to be whatever it is and inspect the discord.

 

 

I general, it does seem like trying to quit, to fix life and "make it" never really works. At least so it seems to me. There has to be some better way.

[Blessed2]

34 minutes ago, Someone here said:

I can't live my best version of myself while carrying a bunch of addictions .

 

This one would be good to inspect too. Allow the shortcomings and addictions to be, and notice how awareness returns and centers herenow.

[Mandy]

Thought you quit smoking before? 

[Someone here]

15 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

Write what you want on the dreamboard. Allow the smoking, coffee drinking and porn watching to be what it is. Allow right now. Do not try to fix anything. Notice how awareness returns to herenow.

I can't.  These things are affecting the quality of my life . 

16 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

Read Allen Carr's Easy Way To Stop Smoking

Everyone suggested this book to me . I never really looked into it ..is it worth it ?

17 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

The lung stuff gets better if you shift to nicotine replacement products, snus or chewing tobacco. It's still addictive and might be cancerous etc. but at least you can breathe.

 I'm afraid I have cancer or cardiovascular disease. I tried vaping as a replacement but I come back always to ciggies. 

17 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

Quitting caffeine wasn't as bad for me as I thought it would be. There was maybe three or four hard days, then it was pretty much over. Maybe change to tea first, it has less caffeine. And then start only drinking one cup in the morning. And then cut that.

So I should not drink any stimulating caffeineted stuff during the night?  The problem is I spend my day in college. And I come home at night needing to chill out and relax . A combo of cigarettes and coffee does it for me .

20 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

This last one is the only one about which you do not mention any actual negative effects. You don't say stuff like "it hurts my lungs" or keeps you awake at night.

I said I feel guilty. Because I feel like I'm cheating on my girlfriend. We were honest with each other since our first date . I promised her to quit looking into porn but if she finds out that I watch porn she will probably break up with me .

We live in a very conservative society. Things like porn and open sexuality is considered a sin . Of course I don't consider it a fucking sin .I'm pretty open minded dude . But I feel like I should do it for my girlfriend. 

22 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

. This sounds like conditioning and believing thoughts without a physically or psychologically damaging addiction. I'd just allow it to be whatever it is and inspect the discord.

 

 

I general, it does seem like trying to quit, to fix life and "make it" never really works. At least so it seems to me. There has to be some better way.

What better way do you suggest? 

21 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

This one would be good to inspect too. Allow the shortcomings and addictions to be, and notice how awareness returns and centers herenow

You keep suggesting to me that I should accept my addictions as they are .is that really a solution? 

16 minutes ago, Mandy said:

Thought you quit smoking before? 

Nope .

[Mandy]

2 minutes ago, Someone here said:

 

Nope .

So that was a lie? 

[Someone here]

7 minutes ago, Mandy said:

So that was a lie? 

Where did I say that I have quit? 

 I can quit for a day or two or even a week or two. But quitting "forever "seeme daunting and impossible. 

[Mandy]

1 minute ago, Someone here said:

Where did I say that I have quit? 

 I can quit for a day or two or even a week or two. But quitting "forever "seeme daunting and impossible. 

I don't know but I remember congratulating you. A week or two, even a day, is quitting, you CAN quit. 

 

There is no forever. Just right now, just today. 

[Someone here]

@Mandy

5 minutes ago, Mandy said:

I don't know but I remember congratulating you. A week or two, even a day, is quitting, you CAN quit. 

 

There is no forever. Just right now, just today. 

No I didn't quit. perhaps you were dreaming 😄.

I was always told to just tell myself to make it through the day because that's manageable. Then tomorrow i just tell myself to make it through that day also. 

I've read tons of tips, advice, and how-to's online, but non of them seem to work for me.  would love useful insights and read some tales of inspiration.

I know people will recommend to me the Allen Carr book.I've heard of it but have yet to check it out. I will soon.

[Phil]

@Someone here

No, actually read the book. Make it a priority. The highest priority. 

Start exercising & meditating every morning. Small, even tiny amounts or durations are perfectly fine. It’s only the change in orientation that’s desired. Not doing or efforting. 

 

Put it on a calendar. Start with just the first chapter, and let that be enough for one day.

 

Even 5 minutes of simple cardio and five minutes on the cushion is great. Let that be enough for one day. For any discordant thoughts or beliefs which arise, utilize the journal to express & therein dispel. 

 

What is it exactly that you’re thinkin is going to happen in the absence of unwanted?

 

Careful with employing ‘dreaming’ when what’s experienced is denial. That’d be spiritual bypassing, and it isn’t profitable. 

[Someone here]

7 minutes ago, Phil said:

@Someone here

No, actually read the book. Make it a priority. The highest priority. 

Start exercising & meditating every morning. Small, even tiny amounts or durations are perfectly fine. It’s only the change in orientation that’s desired. Not doing or efforting. 

 

Put it on a calendar. Start with just the first chapter, and let that be enough for one day.

 

Even 5 minutes of simple cardio and five minutes on the cushion is great. Let that be enough for one day. For any discordant thoughts or beliefs which arise, utilize the journal to express & therein dispel. 

 

What is it exactly that you’re thinkin is going to happen in the absence of unwanted?

 

Careful with employing ‘dreaming’ when what’s experienced is denial. That’d be spiritual bypassing, and it isn’t profitable. 

Thanks man for the advice . I believe I have to start building a disciplined character. I'm still a slob immature boy despite approaching 26 now . I'm supposed to be a grown ass man now and I still didn't get my shit together. It makes depressed.  

I will read the book. I hope to find the magical formula for quitting in it .I'm just being honest..I don't believe a book can make me quit .I know all the toxic shit and rape to my health in smoking  yet I keep smoking. Do you think a book can make me stop ?

I meditate before bed BTW because I have nothing else to do .

[Phil]

@Someone here

🙏 

This is already free & there is no assertion. 

[Blessed2]

49 minutes ago, Someone here said:

These things are affecting the quality of my life . 

 

Then allow them to affect the quality of your life. Give up. Or don't.

 

50 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Everyone suggested this book to me . I never really looked into it ..is it worth it ?

 

Yes. It's really good. Read it! There's no need to hurry though if it doesn't feel good. Maybe just a few pages a day or something. Enjoy your last cigarettes!

 

54 minutes ago, Someone here said:

What better way do you suggest? 

 

To take the course on healing the cause rather than effect.

 

What seems to go on in the world-movie is the effect.

 

The cause is the projector.

 

The movie will never be fixed, nor can it be fixed. Only at the level of the projector can actual healing occur.

 

59 minutes ago, Someone here said:

You keep suggesting to me that I should accept my addictions as they are .is that really a solution? 

 

Not really a solution. It's about recognizing there is no problem in the first place.