Kevin Posted Saturday at 09:32 PM Share Posted Saturday at 09:32 PM I just kind of want to vent here. I am feeling very sad, frustrated, disheartened, and a little hopeless. From a certain standpoint things are great in my life. I am doing better than ever financially and I have time on my hands. For years before now I was always afraid to talk to girls I didn’t know. That would always frustrate me and I would feel sad about that. I always thought if I could just get over it and go talk to a girl then my problems would be solved and I’d be happy. this is definitely not the case. It’s actually hiding that there is something really painful going on with me. There is a very painful dynamic I have revolving around connecting with women. I’m not even really sure how to put it but I’ll try my best. I feel tremendous insecurity around it. The talking to girls I don’t know has highlighted it. It’s put it front and center. It feels like I’m looking for something from all the girls I’ve talked to. It feels stressful like I need something. I feel as if something is way off. I think going up to a stranger should be about connecting and getting to know them joyfully. Not all this fear and pressure about what if they don’t like me or what if I get embarrassed. I get a little frustrated because I’ve been more friendly and outgoing with strangers than I’ve been in years. Maybe my whole life. I’ve talked to at least 20 girls in the last couple weeks. And I eve. Went on a couples dates with one of these girls. I should be absolutely stoked. But it’s like each time I see a pretty girl it’s like a reminder of this feeling inside. This feeling is like uncertainty and guilt and fear and despair all wrapped up together. And I don’t think having sex or having a girl like me is the solution. I’ve had both those things and and it doesn’t fix it. It also feels very difficult. And I get frustrated because I know meeting girls doesn’t have to be as hard as I’m making if. It could be effortless. last night I was out with friends and there were a few times where I wanted to talk to these girls but I felt timid. Honestly I hate that. I hate being timid. Idk I might add more to this post later I guess I’m just struggling and feeling a lot very intensely and I wanted to get his off my chest. Idk honestly I just think I need to express it to others because it’s eating me up inside and I can’t talk to my parents about any of this. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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