I Don't Like People Seeing Me

[Orb]

I gotta Market myself on social media and I'm scared. I don't even like taking selfies. Ugh I know I can do this but it's such a pain in the ass. Maybe more of that Vagus shit will help me express myself more authentically. 

 

I was laughing out loud and being crazy after the vagus exercises. I like being loud and crazy and fun. I'm not always quiet and calculated, yet when people see me i go back to being quiet and boring, FUCK!!! 

 

My authentic child personality is crazy and outgoing! I used to scream out loud at my grandma on the street while she was on her balcony, that's how much I didn't give a fuck about people's opinions. Then I got my ass beat and bullied and now I'm limping. 

[Jonas Long]

Do a series of power poses for 30 seconds or so first thing every day.  Meaning striking a physical pose which dominates space.  It'll send a message of confidence to your subconscious 

[Orb]

@Lester Retsel thank you for this suggestion. I'm afraid of being cringey. 

[Jonas Long]

24 minutes ago, Orb said:

@Lester Retsel thank you for this suggestion. I'm afraid of being cringey. 

You do this exercise by yourself as psychic preparation.  Things your body does send messages to your unconscious that have a much greater effect than thoughts do.  Like if you just make yourself smile for no reason, you will feel a little bit happier.

Edited March 15, 2023 by Lester Retsel

[Mandy]

14 hours ago, Orb said:

yet when people see me i go back to being quiet and boring, FUCK!!! 

You aren't either crazy and fun or quiet and boring, moment by moment different things are aligned. There's no self concept that will stick. "When people see me", meaning "when I think about what other people are seeing". There's no self concept that will stick. 

 

14 hours ago, Orb said:

My authentic child personality is crazy and outgoing!

Yes, AND kids are assholes. Maturity is a good thing. Just gotta iron some kinks out, no big deal. 

 

14 hours ago, Orb said:

Then I got my ass beat and bullied and now I'm limping. 

Why bring this into your now? No need. Are you literally limping? 

[Phil]

The vagus exercises release. If it were the stomach releasing what is discordant, you’d barf and that’d be the end of that.

But this release isn’t of food in the stomach, it’s of interpretations & corresponding emotions in the body. 

But when the the interpretations come up & out, there seems to be a ‘holding on’ to the interpretations, a trying to solve or figure out. 

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/just-let-source-take-out-the-garbage

I’m afraid of vs the emotion of fear. 

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/the-emotional-scale

 

The authentic self is never seen. 

You are already the authentic self. 

There isn’t an un-authentic self which could, would or somehow becomes authentic. 

There does seem to be an uncovering. 

A not-believing, not-buying-into, thoughts about, a separate self. 

 

If you don’t like people seeing you, you’re in luck. 

That never actually happens. 

 

Thoughts of a past appear only now. 

Awareness is aware of the thoughts.

Where is the me a past happened to?

Thoughts of a me a past happened to appear only now. 

“The past” is This. 

Appearing, now. 

Experience doesn’t define you.

’It’s’ already gone / you’re already being This. Where is that in This? 

‘It’ isn’t. 

There are thoughts, that it is. 

[Orb]

@Mandy no I'm not limping right now. I'm chilling. I do get concerned that people will feel overwhelmed by my personality so I dial it down.

 

@Phil letting source take out the garbage, I'm already pretty good at that. I just don't do anything.