Forza21
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Posts posted by Forza21
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9 hours ago, Stillness said:
Experiencing the same issue some years ago, it seemed like a very big shock, at the time. I had a flash of sudden insight, (realization may or may not come like a sudden flash) not through tripping. I haven't ever tried that. It was simply having read hundreds of books from various enlightened beings. I think, jmho, that pursuing a truer alignment with being a being of love since as long as I could remember set me up with a solid foundation. I never felt the need to use a substance that would alter brain chemistry to have an experience which then might be faulty due to altering the organ by which these insights would have to be interpreted. But I learned to be silent from a couple neither of whom had a religious affiliation, who had written a book called "The Journey That Never Was," and taught a course on it. I think it lasted 5 two hour sessions and by then everyone felt they had succeeded and went on their way. I had not meditated before. But the wife that taught their course with her husband had experienced instances of communicating with her inner voice regularly, and she had a wonderful gift of transmitting Love through her teaching. I followed their simple instructions and just did as they said. As we did the meditation, I felt my heart overflowing with Love and Peace. I was not a people person for most of my life until then. But I felt pure inexpressible Love for everyone and everything that made me weep. That was when I felt real Love for the first time. And I felt it like a parent's Love for me, someone who cared deeply for me, like the kind of Love a mother would give her treasured child with a hug.
When I had the sudden flash that nothing was real, it was a few years later. I went into a kind of shock thinking nothing and no one was real. I spent sometime to get over the shock, and even lost my job at the time mainly because I had no interest in being productive just to entertain myself and impress some imaginary people. In order to stop obsessing over it, I eventually had to drop that whole line of thinking and go back to my old way thinking. Only once in a while I still questioned it. I hadn't forgotten it. But at least the obsessing stopped, and I still did meditation.
One day after that I was playing in my backyard with my dog. We played "fetch" and as I waited for her to fetch and bring me her toy, I looked out into the small woods directly behind our house. It was a sunny afternoon and as I looked the trees were bathed in afternoon sun and I studied the leaves and the veins flowing with Life through the almost transparent green and they lit up like they had a bright aura all around them. Then I looked at the trunks and the bark flowing with Life traveling up and down through them, and I saw Life in them and the rocks as well. They too seemed alive and even intelligent. Everywhere I looked there was Life throbbing right through every object. And in a moment I knew that the Life I saw was me. The people walking past on the sidewalk were me. I was Life and they were all, all things, were me. It made me almost giddy with happiness and Love for them all. We were all one. Everything and I were connected and completely one, unified and blessed with Life that flowed through everything and loved everything. That was the moment when I no longer felt like an isolated being and no longer felt lost and lonely. That moment was a gift to me. Of course my dog barked and broke the spell, but that happiness stayed with me ever since. This is a true story and I hope perhaps it helps you to see what you're not seeing when you obsess on solipsism.
And just one small observation here: I don't think Leo's teaching is from the point of view of transmitting Love. He seems to have little empathy and teaches the mechanics from a very analytical viewpoint. When I go to his forum, if I go there, I usually feel negative energy and a bit of depression afterward. I rarely feel inspired or uplifted and often feel that Leo has not yet experienced the emotion of deep unconditional Love. Some may connect with the analytical side more. I'm analytical myself and he makes good arguments for some things, but I don't feel it at my heart level. As I said, just my observation.
Thank you for sharing this. ❤️ I'll keep going until i realize the love, and the aliveness/ones.
yes, for me, it's too, obsessive thinking. For example, when i read the news i wonder "is it really happening?" It's pain the ass, but i guess there's no other way, then go through this, and eventually it will be okay. I trust in God.
if it comes to Leo, i wrote a post about my thoughts about him. I agree 100%. -
Yeah, if you love hell, is it still hell?:)
it's hard thing overwhelming feelings like anxiety and panic attacks. But there's no other way than to surrender to it. The more you struggle, the more powerful it becomes. -
18 hours ago, Joseph Maynor said:
Do people who claim solipsism is true act like it is so? If not, why is that?
True ❤️
18 hours ago, Nyingpo said:I feel theres alot of explaining on the non dual /wisdom paths of the fear thats encounted when glimpses of the dissolution or unfindableness of a separate self arise, but not much on the area of the same dissolution of otherness that can be revealed .
Its equally as fear producing and theres a strong backswing of trying to grasp the old and also deal with the ramifications of the new. Meaning if others arent "really" there as separate identities with edges and qualities, then that crumbles so much of the way we relate, and has such strong impact on our reasons for doing etc. Big glimpses bring big swingbacks of fear and ramifications.
But just like big ego death glimpses take a while of dealing with the fear swingback so does otherness death glimpses. Theres a new way of seeing that can be revealed, and the swings can be held in love and gentleness.
The death glimpse of otherness can bring strong arising of Im the only one, its just a grabing hold that happens, but surrendering and opening helps.
In the end youre already where you and I are and it will always be us and all. One soup. Love
Thank you ❤️❤️
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55 minutes ago, Phil said:
Just some suggestions…
Maybe frame it as just - thought attachment - vs I have many thoughts attachment. Allow it to be simpler, as simple as possible. It’s only ever now, and attention is on thoughts / believing thoughts now, or on feeling breathing from the stomach now. Let it be simple. Relax. 🙂 Feel the right-now-relief in doing so. Thoughts can be very tricky so to speak, but relief - feeling - is never in a past or future. If there is relaxation, it is now. If there is happiness, it is now. If there is a ‘you know what, who cares about all this crap, I’m gonna just have fun’… it’s now.
Right.
" i have million thoughts" it's actually one thought 🙂55 minutes ago, Phil said:In regard to the belief in solipsism, notice any tendency to focus on thoughts / believing thoughts like ‘if I just had the right thought’, ‘if it would just click’, ‘if I could just figure it out’, ‘if I could just grasp what someone is saying’, etc……….then I would feel better. Trust in the feeling (which is present right now) of bringing attention to feeling breathing from the stomach. Perhaps question / contemplate… if solipsism is true, then what is aware of the thought / belief, “solipsism”?
Consciousness is before any beliefs.As you said very well on the video, an infant wouldn't have such problems. It's pure consciousness, pure infinity, before any beliefs were introduced. 🙂
55 minutes ago, Phil said:Would not that which is aware, awareness, be prior to, thoughts, beliefs, and all ism’s? In noticing some thoughts feel great, and some thoughts feel not so great - isn’t feeling prior to the thoughts? Perhaps, wonder about this feeling, and not so much about the thoughts. Thoughts come & go, appear & disappear - isn’t it so in direct experience? On the contrary - ANY time you check if feeling is present, indeed ‘it’ is - isn’t it so in direct experience? Simplest ‘way to check’ - is there the presence of sensation in the bottoms of the feet? Yes. Is this presence of sensation present right now through out the entire body? Yes. You could even go so far as to try to remove this presence of sensation / feeling. Try to ‘take it off’ like you would a coat, and put it on the floor next to you. Then check again… is this presence of sensation present in the bottoms of the feet, the entire body… yes.
isn’t feeling prior to the thoughts?
here, i'm not sure i need to be more aware when it happens. I believe it's thoughts -> feelings, not the other way around. The next part - 100% yes, awarness/the presence is always, always there!55 minutes ago, Phil said:Consider comparing solipsism to other ism’s, and see if anything ‘comes up’. As an example, you have probably heard of Catholicism, and that we’re all judged when we croak, and that we go to a heaven or hell. That ism doesn’t seem to feel discordant to you (as far as I know). But, someone who worries about what other people think, and focuses on a lot of comparative / judgmental thoughts, might be triggered by hearing someone tell them Catholicism is The Truth.
True. There's much more attachment/ feelings engaged to beliefs like solipsism, than to any other. I need to start questioning, why is that? i guess there's no good reason, other than it's more "fresh". 😉
55 minutes ago, Phil said:Also… “I still fall into them”… notice this is not possible. Self referential thoughts like that are the ‘stickiness’ of thought attachment. Allow it to be readily recognized that if there is the activity of thought, you as awareness are aware of it. Therefore, you can never actually be “in” thoughts. If thoughts “about you” arise - allow it to be fine. Relax. “Oh, that was a thought which seemed to be about me, yet I see, I am the awareness of the thoughts”.
Note the implied duality of language / communication as well. You might say “yesterday I was at the park and there was this huge dog there playing frisbee”. That would be the experience of communication. That isn’t necessarily believing that you are or were ‘in a past’, or are ‘in the thoughts’.
There's no one to fall into these thoughts, they simply just arises. It just seems like there's someone who gets glued to it, but it's just more thoughts. Yes. I am that which is aware of that.
55 minutes ago, Phil said:Meditations - check out the Body-Feeling Awareness section.
I'll check that!!
Thank you so much, Phil ❤️❤️❤️ I really, really appreciate it!P.s
I know you have video on youtube, but maybe small article about how to handle solipsism would also be helpful for others ❤️ -
The point of this threat is NOT to demonize Leo, although it may sound this way. The point of this threat is NOT to justify myself, or blame anyone else. As many of you know, i have big issue with the latest insights, but i DO NOT blame actualize.org! In fact, i consider it, as a great lesson to be learned.
The point of this topic is to have honest and open discussion. I've noticed some "red flags" of Leo teachings. If i'm wrong with anything, just write your opinion.
1) Leo claims that he surpasses anyone with his level of awaking. I've never seen any other spiritual guru do that. If anything, they always say, they are not better anyhow.
2) Lately, Leo, started to call tools of spiritual growth, such as meditation and yoga, as "useless", he only puts psychedelics on pedestal. Isn't it too radical?
3) Leo started to use the term "solipsism" lately. I've seen a post from 2019, and he calls "solipsism" a bad map, and now he uses it all the time. No other spiritual guru do that, as it may be misleading. I think this might be also my case.
4) Leo bans his mods, who have different way of teaching. I don't think someone that "radical open-minded"(as he claims himself to be)would do that.
5) Leo's answers on the forum aren't so loving and compassionate, i would say, they are rather harsh, to say at least. If anything, this work should make you more humble, shouldn't it?
6) Leo shits on "no-duality", "no-self", "neo-advaita" teachings, even though i believe it's core foundation for enlightenment.
7)There are a lot of people who seeks help after psychological breakdown, who are even suicidal ( yeah, it was my case too, even though i was mentally stable person)I know it may be just correlation, because mentally unstable people often seeks help in spirituality, but it's still some point to consider.
Now when i look back, i think i might have put too much trust in him, or anyone else. From now on, i shall trust only my feelings and if it resonates with me. I think it's a lesson to be learned.
What do you think? -
49 minutes ago, Nowt said:
Yes definitely. Have a look through the meditations section on the site. If there's still nothing you find helpful just shout up. Even if you don't resonate with it, trying won't hurt. 😊
A few days mostly in terms of physically having the stuff out of my body, but sometimes trying to make sense of what was experienced can take time to digest. What I often found was what I initially might have viewed as a "bad trip" was actually not that at all, and actually the opposite. That's not always evident straight away.
it's been 2.5 weeks, i hope i'll get on ground in some time... it's better sometimes, and the other time it's getting out of hand... -
10 hours ago, Blessed2 said:
Yes, this sounds good to me. 🙂
"Trusting your feelings" means allowing yourself to feel. Daily meditation, opening up and expressing honestly and authentically.
Allowing feeling is 'plunging toward life', rather than endlessly tread thick and heavy conceptual jungles: "existential rumination" as Phil often calls it.
I'd say don't be too philosophical and 'clinical'. Maybe there is nothing you need to know or to understand. Maybe there is just letting more and more and more of feeling and wellbeing come to you, and fill your life. Rather than philosophizing, loosen up a bit and bring in some magic. Maybe check out what crystal stones feel like. Charge them in full moon light. See what this childlike playingness with magic of nature, water, sun and moon, feels like. Maybe stuff like this could be a good way to plunge toward feeling and life, rather than 'hold back' and ruminate.
"These nursing babies are like those who enter the kingdom" - Jesus
"Happiness is the absence of distance between our self and our feelings." - Rupert Spira
i try, but those questioning thoughts still arise, every damn time, i do something. Like "is it real?" "is it there?" "maybe i'm cheating myself?" it's tooough.
Thank you very much for your heart ❤️ -
12 hours ago, Kevin said:
Hey brother. Really glad you made this topic. This is something I’ve struggled with for a while so maybe I’ll have something good to say. One thing that really helped me is noticing that 99% of spiritual teachers say that truth is amazing and it seems as though peoples lives improve tremendously on the path. So I assume I must be misinterpreting something or missing the mark because getting deep into believing solipsism feels awful.
Do you still struggle? What does make you better? -
18 hours ago, karkaore said:
What is this "I", "me", "my"?
Solipsism will be no more once you know.
But first, go do something fun, recharge. Ground yourself and recover.
Climb a mountain and then ask if it's real 😂
I have many thoughts' attachment, and i still fall into them. I know they make me suffer, but it's overwhelming ;( i'm questioning everything
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2 minutes ago, Mandy said:
Yes! 😁 The negative emotion is the disproof. It's not that there are no others, it's that our thoughts of others are not accurate. So when you think "so and so isn't really there" you are thinking a thought of strong separation. In other words ironically you are actually "othering" pretty hard core. Which is why it feels bad, because emotion is guidance. When we think separation it hurts because that is Love non separation saying "nope".
If you tell someone "nothing can make you happy".... they usually believe the thoughts and feel bad. Because they are believing in thoughts that assert that NOTHING is NEGATIVE. They assert NOTHING is something... and that SOMETHING is unwanted. What is nothing was the lack of all unhappiness and it was indeed bliss, "not a
This is the essence of what you are doing with the thought that there are no others. There are beliefs asserting meaning onto it, that does not resonate whatsoever.
Exactly!
Absolutely The WORST part of solipsism is that it kills love.
Because if they don't have experience, what's the point of loving? It hurt like hell, like catching fire.
I can get it when someone says it's all one, it's non-dual, you are me, i'm you. And in that case the love for you is the love for myself, it's ones. It's beautiful. But when some portraits it as others are "empty meat bags" it's fucking madness. And i've seen such sentences on previous forum. To be honest, it got into my head too. -
39 minutes ago, Nowt said:
@Forza21 I would also like to add to what I wrote initially....
It's not for me to comment on how teachers choose to convey their message, but I think you might benefit from hearing the non dual teachings in a much more loving and less clinical way.
This site is a perfect example of that. Rupert Spira is also a great person to listen to and read. He also has a wonderful explanation of solipsism that's available on YouTube as well
In essence I'm saying something very similar to @Blessed2. Seek out those teachers that radiate love. You'll instinctively feel which ones are right when you see/hear/read them.
Also, Jesus was pretty good in that department too 😊
yes, that's true. Somehow, Leo teachings don't feel very loving or compassionate. But it makes great sense, it's based on logic. So i felt into this. I hope there's a way out. 🙂 -
1 hour ago, Blessed2 said:
@Forza21 Nice to see you here, I remember you from the forum! I think a while ago I responded to your post where you were wondering whether to trip or not, and that you were experiencing fear due to holding thoughts about solipsism, avoidance of truth etc. Maybe you remember me.
I'd like to say to you that I know how bad a trip can get and how hard the days, weeks and even months that follow may be. I hear you on the feelings of desperation, loneliness, perhaps even terror and such. And I'd like to say to you that even when all the light seems to be out, even when it seems like there is no way out, there is hope. And there are people who have navigated through these kind of places of confusion.
I think it could be useful for you to read what I responded to your post, as it might shine some light on why this trip might have had manifested, and where are these painful thoughts and confusions 'coming from'.
The best advice I could give you, is simply allowing feeling to guide you. Feeling is guidance. Feeling is here and now, directly available, always persent - whereas trips and thoughts / beliefs about solipsism, metaphysics, god and such is not.
Feeling is the best god damn guidance system that could ever possibly be designed for us. It is so incredibly genius and bright that words do no justice. I'd say stop holding onto any authority other than your joy and wellbeing - that means letting go any teaching / teacher, any belief, any past experience that doesn't serve your highest good and wellbeing. You are truly innocent and you deserve boundless goodness and love - which is what you are always freely granted. Let it come by letting anything that is not in accordance with it (in other word, discordant), go.
Out of all resources I have encountered on my path, the best for navigating through these things have been Actuality of Being, and Abraham - Hicks.
❤️❤️❤️ Thank you.
I read your post once again. This time it really got me:
"There is really no such thing as avoidance of truth. Do you really know what is truth? If not, how could you know if you avoid it or not?
There is avoidance of emotional guidance, though. You know thoughts and beliefs about solipsism feel shit, but you still keep thinking / believing those thoughts. This is what is meant by aversion."
You are so right. Back then, it didn't have such impact on me, right now i get it. Really get it. I don't know what's the truth. Truth cannot be grasp by words or believes. You are so right, brother.
" There is no need whatsoever to give any more thoughts about solipsism. There is no need whatsoever for listening to Leo. Neither there is a need for taking psychedelics".
I listened to this advice, and i didn't take it that day, but i took it about week later, when i wasn't so afraid. It was bad trip anyway. 😉
About the feelings: Yes. Somehow i felt it was something off with solipsism and Leo teaching's, All the teachings didn't feel very compassionate or loving, but it was based on logic, so i felt into this anyway.
The worst part in solipsism is that you can't' really think over this, because there's no way to disprove anything. But maybe, i need to trust my feelings? Maybe it's time to get out of my head, and thoughts, and go straight to the heart?: )
Thank you so much ❤️
If it comes to Leo, he sometimes says about "your ego-mind" etc, so does he belive other have experienece or not? i don't get this way of communication.
love! -
2 hours ago, Nowt said:
@Forza21 I've had lots of bad trips over the years. Some of them can be hell can't they?
Solipsism is an idea, a concept and is the ego’s version of Truth. By claiming solipsism as Truth, we are asserting that Truth can be objectified and that we can give it a label. We can’t. We can try, but all words are just that…. Words. If God realization is the truth of no self, how can we then go on to claim that we are the only self in existence? There is no self to be able to make this claim.
Notice that most of the things you mentioned in your post are thought based. You are believing those thoughts and letting them lead you down the rabbit hole. Take a moment to step back from it and try to notice what's happening.
What you are cannot be defined. We can try, clumsily, but it’s impossible. Remember the oldest teaching in the book...... you are not your mind and not your body!
Also, notice that if you're aware of something (thoughts for example) then they have objective qualities! Awareness has no objective qualities whatsoever. Period.
Thank you. Really, really, thank you.
You are right. I'm still a little afraid of meditation, do you think it may help?
Today i felt something different.
For the first time i gave up, and surrendered this suffering, to God. And I felt, like my boundaries started to dissolve. I didn't know where this "I' starts or where it ends, it was formless. I felt like everything is the same substance, the bed i'm lying at, walls, air i'm breathing, everything. It's like we are all made of „sand” or water which takes different forms, it's same „being”. All one, or "non-dual". It felt cozy, and it was warm. I don't know if i should call this love, but it may be something like that.
Maybe the key is to surrender all of it to God? 🙂
If you learn to love hell, would it be still hell? 🙂
How long did it take for you to recover from bad trips?
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49 minutes ago, Nowt said:
@Forza21 I read some of your posts on other sites and noticed that you were experiencing some difficulty with it. Don't worry, seriously. You're amongst friends. I'm sure Tim has done a wonderful job of discussing this with you. Currently I'm out of the house and can't write a long response, but keep talking, we'll all keep listening and together it will get sorted. ❤️
Thank you so much brother ❤️
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Hi. I'm here from Leo's forum.
I've been talking to Tim on this, he introduced me to this place. Thank you, Tim, for everything you've done for me. ❤️
I'm in hell. I've never felt so much pain in my entire life. 2 weeks ago i had LSD trip, God realization. It was my 14-15 trip, and a couple of years of meditation. On the trip i felt like GOD is everything, and everything is imaginary, and i imagine all this. I felt so alone, that i wrote every book there is, every music, etc, and i'm here stuck for infinity. I felt like I imagine other people. I wonder if that Solipsism thing from Leo forum, was something i felt into. TThis idea got really got into my head just before tripping. I was afraid of it... so it happend.
Since then, i question everyone and everything, if there are even there.
When i talk to someone, i wonder if it's my mind, or the person is there. If i talk on the phone, i wonder if it's only the voice, or is there a person behind.
I understand that there's only consciousness, but i can't even look into the face of my loved ones, because i'm afraid that she's not there. i wanted to devote my life for love, but i ask myself, what's the point, if i'm so alone?
What's the point of helping others?
My life become HELL. Pure Hell.I can't sleep, eat, have fun, i cry a lot. I don't know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.
If there's someone who would talk with me on skype, i'm also in it. thank you.
Pure hell of solipsism. I need help.
in Emptying
Posted
I'll do it! ❤️❤️ thank you Phil ❤️