.jpg.860af39da072c5b8dd2bc82b771babd6.jpg){kind=tracking}
Blessed2
-
Posts
3,179 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Posts posted by Blessed2
-
-
I recently met with a psychologist and she mentioned that social connections such as friendships etc. are actually a psychological need for humans. A need like food and shelter.
Which sort of makes sense. I guess this is a consensus between scientists.
I wouldn't be surprised if there was a scientific study which states that percieved loneliness shortens life span significantly.
Yet "other person" is never actually directly experienced, just like "me" isn't.
"Other person" or "people" is projection, yes?
So this begs the question: is projection a psychological need?
When the thought that I am a separate individual self is believed, is projection actually necessary to as a coping mechanism?
When there is the belief that guilt is real, does projection of guilt actually become sort of necessary?
So rather than trying to make projection stop, it would be better to use the projection and turn around to it's source. To cut the head off the snake, rather than the tail.
-
Day 8.
2 x 30 minutes done.
Walk done.
Resting.
I had one drink.
Everyone else is living normal lives but I can't even make simple daily tasks done. I doubt whether I can actually ever live a normal life. Much less that I could succeed in the way I want to succeed.
There is just too many problems. Social anxiety, stomach issues, addiction, depression etc.
Most people my age has already finished their studies and are starting a career. Some have kids and a family. I'm still in the same place I was 5 years ago.
I am just never in a mental or physical state where I can actually do anything. Literally every hour of my life is a battle. Often my body feels so heavy that I can't really even stand or sit. Everyone else seem to have energy and they are just always in a state of being able to do stuff. I'm not, and I don't know why. I try to eat good food and I try to stay active but nothing seems to work. I wonder if I have an actual physical illness like some kind of autoimmune disease or something. Some bad bacteria in my gut.
But even if it was something like that, I wouldn't have energy to try to fix it. And doctors don't like it when you talk about these kinds of things. They don't actually want to check digestion etc, ever. It would take years of meeting doctors to get to that place.
And then there is self-pity. And then a thought that the self-pity is pathetic and inauthentic and trying to blame others. That though feels so off that I instantly experience a want to self harm.
-
57 minutes ago, Phil said:
Yes, neither of those ‘pendulum swings’ will resonate
Yeah both of them is about a me.
The latter, trying to accept mediocrity, humility etc. is like self trying to be no self, as a self. 😂
59 minutes ago, Phil said:How amazing is it that it seems like there is?
Honestly, it would seem more amazing that there wasn't normal and ordinary. That suggestion seems like a koan.
1 hour ago, Phil said:Perfection and more perfection just wouldn’t seem to be experience.
Yeah.
1 hour ago, Phil said:Why is there something rather than nothing?
I don't know how to approach this question.
Maybe there's just an overlooking, or a pre-assumption of a duality 'something & nothing.'
-
3 hours ago, Orb said:
Yes, this is all normal and part of the spiritual path.
Might not even be about spirituality per se... I think this began before I heard about spirituality, and most of spirituality has been hijacked by it. I'm not sure where this is coming from. Seems to have started somewhere during teenage. The first romantic/intimate relationship I had at 15 might have been a bit 'traumatic', I remember feeling lots of insecurity at that time.
-
I'm so done with digestion issues and this seems to be one of the thoughts/beliefs that bloats me up.
It's basically that I need to be special and exceptional.
Having an ordinary career is not enough. I need to have my own business and it needs to succeed. I need to be exceptional and admired by my abilities and professionalism and intelligence.
I need to be admired by both the coworkers and the clients. They need to be amazed about me.
I need to make a lot of money.
I need to be better than others. I need to know what others don't know and teach them. I need to be more capable than others.
Basically, I need to be a superman. A super human. A saint. I try to live up to that standard. But I'm really just a bloated, sweaty, tired mess. A superhuman wouldn't be bloated and sweaty.
If I'm not exceptional, why would anyone want to be with me? Why would anyone want to spend time with me? Why would anyone find my company desireable?
I often have daydreams about being special, exceptional and admired and adored. Sometimes quite literally just insane narcissistic daydreams.
Yet I don't have even a normal job. Almost every day I feel so worn out, bloated, exhausted and heavy that I basically couldn't even go to work feeling like that.
Then I try to go the other direction and just accept mediocrity, humility, being ordinary. And there is the same inflammatory feeling in the stomach about that. In fact it might be even worse.
-
Today's the day. You can't fail it.
-
5 hours ago, James123 said:
Have you ever done retreats?
Not yet. 😁
-
5 hours ago, Mandy said:
@Blessed2 It's is weird how much a difference it makes. Do not make it ahead if you can help it, it tastes worse and you lose a lot of the benefits, sorry.
Oh, okay 😁 thanks
-
If you have trouble / are not feeling like starting daily meditation, this might help.
It's about routine, not about how much you do it. Meditation is not a willpower practice.
5 minutes twice a day every day is way better than six hours every now and then.
It's about daily routine, not about the lenght of the session.
Even less than five minutes is ok.
Even just 3 minutes twice a day is a good place to start and slowly add some lenght to the session.
That you can make it into a steady routine you follow day to day is way way more important than how long the session is.
If three minutes is too much, then count ten or twenty breaths. EVERY DAY. The routine is the key.
There is no reason to not start!!
-
I actually do feel a bit clearer in body and mind today. 🤔 Got a weird headache too, but it might also be yesterdays gym. I also feel like I don't need melatonin to fall asleep tonight. Weird clarity in thought.
Tomorrow I'll drink a whole bunch in the morning. I pray Lord, please no diarrhea 🙏🙏
I made the juice already for the morning. This time it came out way darker than before. Before it was bright green, but now it's dark green, sort of dark hazy, brownish even. It looks like one hell of a health drink. I hope I didn't mess it up somehow though.
-
All spiritual messages are really from the higher power, to the higher power. The message isn't for you.
If you think it's for you, then it seems like you've been doing something wrong, and that you should do something.
I don't know if that is true, but it lightens me up so so much, takes so much weight off my shoulders that it's true enough.
-
Day 7.
2 x 30 minutes ✔️
Walk ✔️ (though not a full hour, resting)
Rest day
No drinking ✔️
-
2 hours ago, Mandy said:
I can and do turn over potato slices in the oven with my bare hands because I can do so without getting burned. When I do touch something that's too hot, it isn't a decision to move my hand, it's automatic, already done.
Do you not lift weights at all because it hurts? There's good hurt and bad hurt when weight lifting. Moving up the scale is good hurt, staying there or digging deeper is like bad hurt.
Okay so you're saying that it all springs from the fear of 'good' suffering?
How could there be fear or resistance to turning over those potato slices when you know it's not burning your hands and causing pain? What is there to fear?
"It's because of fear of [x]" will be interpreted as "I have fear and I must get rid of it by facing my fear". Which is exactly what happened in this thread.
-
1 hour ago, Rose said:
Actually I think here you’d just go with the “want” instead of trying to resist it - remove the arm
Yes, exactly.
That "it all springs from the fear of suffering" is like keeping the hand on the stove because you mis-apprehend what fear is saying. You think that the pain you're feeling is a weakness in you, something that you must overcome or change about you.
That there is fear of anything, or that you have fear, is ego's narrative. It would have you forever trying to stop having fear of death (for example), or become fearless. You could be running on that hamster wheel forever and never get anywhere.
-
58 minutes ago, Mandy said:
All springs from fear of suffering, resistance of suffering, which is the suffering.
And how does one stop fear or resistance of suffering?
It sounds like what you're saying is to keep the hand on the hot stove because resisting the want to take the hand off is what's causing the pain.
In that case, this:
48 minutes ago, Rose said:Ok.. then should I go and be tortured somewhere while slowly getting murdered? Seems to be what Jesus did.. would that make me really enlightened then…? Being so cool I am cool and not afraid of dying at any moment.. and feeling joy while being slowly murdered..
... is actually just the next logical step. "Oh, so the resistance to keep my hand on the hot stove is causing the pain? So I've got to keep my hand on the stove, no matter what. Even better, let's push every inch of my skin against it to get it all done with."
-
42 minutes ago, Rose said:
How can there be happiness in there being no meaning? Everything you are doing has no meaning.. it is not needed.. you can go kill ten thousand people and it is just as good as if you go and feed ten thousand hungry people.. because it doesn’t mean anything
If these thoughts / this interpretation feels off, something is off about it. Contemplate, find out what it is.
It's not like nonduality first isn't the case and then when you learn or realize it, it suddenly is the case. Nonduality is already the case. There isn't a requirement to 'be nondual' or 'know nonduality' for nonduality to be the case. 😁
-
21 minutes ago, WhiteOwl said:
I want to let it go, but nothing seems to be working in that regard for me.
You can't let you go.
If you could let all the clinging and attachment go, you would have already done that.
It's not in your power.
-
25 minutes ago, Mandy said:
Coffee early in the morning isn't a great habit and undoing your progress from the celery juice if you're trying to get over an infection of some kind of gut issues.
Yeah... It's just that I feel so horrible before that first cup. I don't know what it is, it's like I just have to get coffee right after waking up. Sometimes I feel so horrible after waking up that even getting up to make the coffee is painful. 😂 I muster up all my streght and sprint to the coffee maker.
It's probably because I take melatonin and it makes me tired in the mornings. Probably also quitting the antidepressants plays a role here. Bad quality of sleep. Lately I've been getting comments from my girlfriend that I got huge eye bags. 😂
17 minutes ago, Mandy said:This is the kind of juicer you want for celery juicer, or any juicer that's a slow masticating one. I haven't tried this particular one. I gave my parents another one that I got off amazon and it's still going years later with daily use. https://www.amazon.com/Masticating-Brecious-Machines-Vegetable-Function/dp/B0CJ2LH2P6/ref=sr_1_4?crid=37Y9DTIPYRNGC&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.bltkPugubzxTFxy0UW96E_4k_K6I0zcpUkALNgL7T8i-q2HwBkeHSU2AgiBd44dkMAJiUVzIbG5MeHtz33_Dx1cuSNiUvJT1M2uQJHQew68FF8RDN6EohZTV5A1w-HtSchEXAYv-DtodNWQkOzicwJfDTS_fRbupWD2cuUixRr660lKGt4wFzPCxAECXJnRrwqc6A-NWQAuKfqjAuEW17M7x9eWZlIxOoNtYIw4bBhQ.yaK1ZGD-mpiYEsVsalV6DFKSykz6znGggT5Q0vJTLnI&dib_tag=se&keywords=slow+masticating+juicer&qid=1714387985&sprefix=slow+masticating+juicer%2Caps%2C127&sr=8-4
Then you want to strain it again with a mesh strainer before drinking.
"Slow masticating". Jeez, why is there so many kinds of stuff. I want to just walk into a store and say I want a juicer. "What kind of a juicer?" The kind you put stuff in and it makes juice out of it. 😀 Now I need to google and study juicer types. Being a consumer is a full time job I tell ya
-
1 hour ago, Reena said:
what if you add tomato?
I don't think that would make it any more tasty 😂
-
Well that wasn't delicious at all. Didn't expect it to taste quite like that. Tastes surprisingly salty / 'mineral rich'. Maybe I'll add some ginger next time.
I didn't drink as much as is recommended, to try it first with a smaller amount. I blended three stems.
Nothing crazy yet. Maybe a bit of a weird feeling in the stomach.
I probably failed to do it correctly, because I had to drink coffee right after it. I just feel so horrible right after waking up that I need my caffeine, could not wait half an hour. 😂 Probably because I'm taking melatonin.
-
34 minutes ago, WhiteOwl said:
You can't blend only celery in a blender, talking from experience. Maybe a stick blender idk. Not going to work i think
I already did that 🤔 I didn't even use a cloth to filter it, just a normal iron strainer.
Just add like half a cup of water to make the blending easier, then the celery, blend until mush (don't blend too much) and strain.
-
2 hours ago, Rose said:
This seems very depressing…
Then the interpretation is off in some way.
Truth = happiness. If there is even a whiff of depression, fear, guilt, anything like that, something is off.
2 hours ago, Rose said:how you can care about celery juice after that is beyond me..
There is no "after that". Not two is already the case.
-
Day 6.
2 x 30 minutes ✔️
Walk ✔️ (not a full hour though, felt like giving a bit more rest for the body still)
Gym ✔️
No drinking ✔️
Gym felt really good again! Today was full body day. My workout routine is like this:
A: Lower body
B: Upper body
C : Full body
A & B are more focused on machines, C is more free weights and compound movements.
Did some (sumo) deadlifts today. It's been maybe 7 years since the last time but I've still got the good form in muscle memory though, which was nice. It felt pretty amazing, though I got a bit lightheaded again 😁
span widget
-
11 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:
I'm not one of those people who think and say confidently that they have found the truth as to these matters. I don't feel that way when I'm really honest with myself. What started the thread to unravel for the is when I first realized I wasn't sure what the self is and secondly when I realized that human being is a construct. I'm not freaked out by it anymore and I can't even say I've definitively found answers to these either and that's ok. I'm ok not knowing too. But I agree it is kinda scary, and we want to know the truth to assuage this feeling of not knowing or not knowing yet.
What if knowing and the knower was also deconstructed?
What if both knowing and not knowing is like dream stuff? If knowing & not knowing were dream stuff, what would the 'real stuff' be like?
(I'm just wondering out loud, not asking you per se 😂)
blessed journal
in Expression Journals
Posted
Unity and oneness is like pseudo-nonduality.