Nadosa
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Posts posted by Nadosa
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@WhiteOwl thanks, i'll do that later and respond after that!
When, as in which situations?
When, as in "time"?
I dont really know what to respond to the other questions 😅
Fear is recognized, but not expressed, most of the time. Because then I would probably cry and run away and just want to be with it, alone. That's how it was dealt with earlier, just to be with fear.
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@WhiteOwl thanks!
Probably has to do with the childhood.
Being dependent on fulfilling my Brother's desires, it was the way he made me feel worthy if I did certain things for him or even against him (for example when I was 8/9 he stood right in front of the door, not letting me through until I punched him hard in the face to "Man-Up"). I can relive this moment. This hatred was so strong. I didnt want to do this. I didnt. Really. But I couldnt express it otherwise than hitting him, as he desired. This hatred was because he wanted me to punch him. He started provoking more and more.
If I didnt do certain things, I would get fired out of an imaginary club he created, but never existed. And of course, I believed this club was the one and only thing that made me a worthy human being.
Till this day, I cant seem to lead a true authentic conversation with him.
I dont know why.
Arent those normal Brother-Brother Situations?
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Hey guys,
I need these lines for emptying out a bit. As my musical journey progresses and also my musical direction changes, as it all gets a bit more serious regarding the musical projects - I feel like the more serious the relation and attachment towards those things get, the more do I feel doubt and feelings of unworthiness. Conzeptualized in following "what if's" and thoughts:
What if I look silly on stage?
We totally changed musical directions, what if it totally fails?
The most difficult aspect is: I always MUST know if people liked it. And if they didnt, I start questioning the entire project.
It's gone so far that I can consiously see that beliving the conzeptualization FEELS bad but I NONETHELESS habitually choose to believe it because I dont know?!??
Same goes with my family.
If my mum doesnt like what I do musically, I feel such a huge emotional response of unworthiness and doubt. I feel so unbelievably dependent on others opinions. Especially my moms.
Same goes with intimate relationships.
Then thoughts...
The issue is: I try to openly express this to my band mates. But I must admit that the unworthiness kills the vibe slowly but steady. Because I DO NOT hesitate to openly say: "I doubt people will like like this, or I dont want to put this out because we look silly."
Fortunately, my band mates are basically the most grounded guys I could ever wish for. They know how to handle Drama queens.
I am killing my own life goals by not knowing what to do with these emotions. They feel so strong. As if they pull me deeply into questioning every aspect of myself.
Do I look shitty?
Why dont they dance?
Yadadada
I recently started emptying out, meditating and expressing via the scale.
The emotional response to mostly anything regarding music, girls and relationships is: doubt, uncertainty and unworthiness. And in acute situations, I cant seem to consciously express them without wildly starting to ruminate...
Anyone?
Thanks
Phil
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Nevertheless, don't you think all the knowledge and work he provides on YouTube for free is pretty honourable?
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7 hours ago, Phil said:
I love it!
Not that it’s needed… but curious is a singer comin, bass, guitar?
What’s happnin?
Good question. The good thing is, that as only two, we dont have to argue at all about any decisions. The more members, the more complications. But yeah of course, there are features planned. But actually we wanted to stay as two originally.
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Happy Release Day!
Our VERY FIRST SONG "HERO"! What a baby! And what an ending of the song! Really like it!
Hope you enjoy!
On 4/23/2022 at 5:39 PM, Phil said:Well that was fucking amazing. Every aspect. Amazing.
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Problem is, that any other ads linked to our video is another violation. And creating other ads + accounts count as another violation too.
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Good news again. We won another competition. Now we play another Festival right next to the biggest lake in Germany.
Right now everything I wrote on the dreamboard came true: lightshow, playing exactly those Festivals I wrote down, having a nice show, music videos etc..incredible.
Still waiting for our Google Ads to be unsupspended 😞
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8 hours ago, Faith said:
@Nadosa awe man, that's awful! I don't know anything about Google ads, but I put ""circumventing the system" in Google search and tons of stuff came up and ideas to look for and try. It also had where a guy found some Spanish guy hiding on his Google ads, whatever that means, reported it with their appeal and the verdict was overturned.
Is it something where you can open another Google account to side step this until you can appeal with original account?
That's what I did, sidestepping counts as another crime. So that was a huge mistake actually.🙃
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Thanks a lot guys!
Unfortunately things turned out terrible. Our Google Ads account got suspended due to "circumventing the system", whatever, not getting anyone personal to talk to but an automated message reply, which just says that we won't be able to reactivate it. Now I am waiting for a recall by Google.
If our account stays suspended, we will never be able to do any ads in future - which is disastrous tbh. Especially for lil guys like us. It's tough to stay calm at the moment for me. Just wanted to do everything perfectly. Now all ads are locked and our music is not getting spread.
If anyone has any advice...:(
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Wow thanks a ton for the feedback!
Yeah we gained like 20 more followers, the views are stagnating recently tho. I dont know why really, the view/like ratio is also a bit unfortunate. I think now we have to play some gigs.
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On 3/23/2022 at 6:23 PM, Phil said:
Hey guys, it's been a lot of work. But here is our first single "Dystopia", just had so much fun on the drums.
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Guys, we did it, we played the finals of the newcomer bands contest and actually got ranked first by the crowd and the jury. Meaning we are allowed to play at a big festival.
However. We have some music we release together with videos. We have some teasers too. Is there any strategy we should consider how to go about this? Should we actually invest in Instagram ads, youtube ads?
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There is no letting go. Letting go is always present.
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@Faith contraction into a person believing there is a moving from A to B in this concept of time. There is no time though. Like, can you touch, smell, see "time"? Where does time appear in?
Sit with this at least for 30mins.
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Rupert Spira: "You need to run out of options, meaning exhausting the search for happiness in objects, in order to really see there is only happiness which is you, here and now. Have relationships, make money, but eventually you will realize that happiness can never be derived from objects."
I know that fear. What to do is really see there is no running out of stuff, there is no maybe, there is an infinite number of things you can do, as long as you do it from your inherent happiness and dont take the stuff as a means for happiness.
I feel doubt and unworthiness most of the time
in Emptying
Posted
Yes