Radical self-acceptance.

[Someone here]

Maybe you don't like how you look ..you are too skinny or too fat or you don't like how big your nose is or you don't like how small your dick is . or whatever..you don't like your physical appearance..or you are struggling to get laid ..or stuck in a cycle of addiction..or you don't like your personality traits .

How can one accept oneself unconditionally?

@Philwould be a great YT  episode. 

[Phil]

👍🏻

[Links]

On 11/9/2022 at 5:14 PM, Someone here said:

How can one accept oneself unconditionally?

 

It's a tough one which we all struggle with to some extent. That's a first step, to recognise that self-criticism is very common and there's nothing 'wrong' or different about me doing it.

 

There's a paradox here too, in that the thoughts and feelings of 'I don't like ...' are just as much me, as the qualities they're referring to. So self-acceptance means accepting the not-liking as well as the liking. In my view, this means making a commitment to not trying to change myself (let alone anyone else). Just focus on awareness of whatever is being felt and thought right now, and the process of judging it. Like a type of mindfulness perhaps, not a quick cure but a practice for the long haul. 

 

Is there a separation between me the judger and owner of my appearance, my personality etc? In my experience if you go down the road of trying to fix your imperfections, even if you succeed  the inner voice just finds something else to dislike and it's never ending. 

 

 

[nurthur11]

On 11/9/2022 at 6:14 PM, Someone here said:

Maybe you don't like how you look ..you are too skinny or too fat or you don't like how big your nose is or you don't like how small your dick is . or whatever..you don't like your physical appearance..or you are struggling to get laid ..or stuck in a cycle of addiction..or you don't like your personality traits .

How can one accept oneself unconditionally?

@Philwould be a great YT  episode. 

Can you accept yourself unconditionally? 

[Links]

Another thought occurred to me. Why do you want to be different from how you are anyway?

Is your physical body and personality an end in itself, the meaning of life, or is there perhaps a deeper feeling or unmet need to which these desires for change are merely symptoms? 

 

Just a wild guess here, tell me if I'm wrong, but is it rooted in a need for social acceptance, friendship and love from other people? Perhaps your lack of self-acceptance is a reaction to thoughts of non-acceptance by others? If those others loved you unconditionally, maybe self-acceptance would come naturally. Unconditional love from others originates with the parent-child relationships (or should do) so I guess that's why psychologists and therapists want us to talk about them. 

Edited November 15, 2022 by Links

[Links]

22 hours ago, nurthur11 said:

Can you accept yourself unconditionally? 

 

Good question. We have a habit of sometimes saying 'you' when we really mean 'I', as a way of gaining social approval at the expense of owning our beliefs. We had a rule at the co-counselling to say 'I' instead of projecting onto others, it was a powerful tool. 

 

Not suggesting @Someone here is doing that, just taking the opportunity to share that memory. 

Edited November 15, 2022 by Links

[Cathal]

On 11/9/2022 at 5:14 PM, Someone here said:

Maybe you don't like how you look ..you are too skinny or too fat or you don't like how big your nose is or you don't like how small your dick is . or whatever..you don't like your physical appearance..or you are struggling to get laid ..or stuck in a cycle of addiction..or you don't like your personality traits .

How can one accept oneself unconditionally?

@Philwould be a great YT  episode. 

 

Go out to a forest and genuinely investigate, is there anything wrong here? The problem is you leave the forest and go back to the city and there's something inside of you that is judging everything including what it identifies as itself uncontrollably. It's cultural conditioning for the most part and you have really no control over it, a large round nose can be deemed as disgusting in one part of the world and the sign of a great king to be in another.

 

There's not much to do but continue letting go of reacting to this conditioning. Very difficult it is especially with how identified we are with the body and our achievements in life and the feelings of insecurity that arise, but trust in the letting go and you will soon fruit the feeling of peace and true acceptance of everything that is.

[Phil]

On 11/9/2022 at 12:14 PM, Someone here said:

Philwould be a great YT  episode. 

 

[Someone here]

@Phil thanks man 

Like before I watch 🙂

[nurthur11]

On 11/26/2022 at 12:18 AM, Phil said:

 

@Philis the sphere analogy something to be seen in experience ?

[Phil]

@nurthur11

The spheres are what seeing (perception) & experience (vibration) are. It’s why there is believed to be the speed of light, black holes, white holes, spacetime, gravity, objective or subjective experience, the ‘hard problem of consciousness’, science vs religion, etc, etc. 

 

The notion of self acceptance arises in the same manor as the questioning of free will. 

 

Illusion (separate selves) & appearance (Self). 

 

[nurthur11]

39 minutes ago, Phil said:

@nurthur11

The spheres are what seeing (perception) & experience (vibration) are. It’s why there is believed to be the speed of light, black holes, white holes, spacetime, gravity, objective or subjective experience, the ‘hard problem of consciousness’, science vs religion, etc, etc. 

 

The notion of self acceptance arises in the same manor as the questioning of free will. 

 

Illusion (separate selves) & appearance (Self). 

 

Is this effortless being or effortless Bardhi? As I understand in experience there is the experience which is a vibration and ones perception. Then I don't understand why you do this? " It’s why there is believed to be the speed of light, black holes, white holes, spacetime, gravity, objective or subjective experience, the ‘hard problem of consciousness’, science vs religion, etc, etc. " Sure you can't know that all being are having the same experience and the same perception - so you cannot assume homogeneity of this even among people let alone the universe. I am not 100 sure but I think speed of light is not a belief is a calculation and black holes are observed in space. 

 

 

[Phil]

2 hours ago, nurthur11 said:

Is this effortless being or effortless Bardhi?

Infinite being, awareness, consciousness, peace, love, self… is effortlessly aware of and effortlessly appearing as the thought “Bardhi” as well as the body the thought points to, by being the lens-sphere (thoughts) & world-sphere (bodies). (By awareness (etc), what’s meant is the very same awareness aware now.)

 

2 hours ago, nurthur11 said:

As I understand in experience there is the experience which is a vibration and ones perception. 

Perception & understanding are vibrational appearance. There is no perceiver or understander; the experience of perception & understanding occur effortlessly / aren’t a doing. Infinite being is synonymous with knowing or knowingness, and infinite means no finite… so there is infinite knowingness but there isn’t any (finite) thing to actually perceive, understand or know. Hence, infinite can not know finite.

But the believing of thoughts makes it seems so. (The Cosmic Joke.) 

 

2 hours ago, nurthur11 said:

Then I don't understand why you do this? " It’s why there is believed to be the speed of light, black holes, white holes, spacetime, gravity, objective or subjective experience, the ‘hard problem of consciousness’, science vs religion, etc, etc. " Sure you can't know that all being are having the same experience and the same perception - so you cannot assume homogeneity of this even among people let alone the universe. I am not 100 sure but I think speed of light is not a belief is a calculation and black holes are observed in space. 

 

 

Infinite being doesn’t’ “do”, as there isn’t any thing to do. Infinite being be’s, and inherently in being, forgets that it is (infinite being). 

Knowingness is knowing of the thought that there is a “knower”.

The homogeneity is always ‘with’ (as) infinite being; awareness, consciousness, intelligence, peace, love (self). 

 

The speed of light is based on a measurement of light moving from a point a to a point b, which light never actually ‘did’ / that measurement was never actually done. A true measure of the speed of light would only be one way, which isn’t possible. So a two way measurement is commonly assumed to have been a one way measurement. Light doesn’t actually ‘travel’. It just seems like it, again, in the ‘thought makes it so’ manor. 

The calculation of the speed of light is based on a two way measurement which (the two way aspect) never actually occurred, and therein was never actually measured. 

 

[nurthur11]

7 hours ago, Phil said:

Infinite being, awareness, consciousness, peace, love, self… is effortlessly aware of and effortlessly appearing as the thought “Bardhi” as well as the body the thought points to, by being the lens-sphere (thoughts) & world-sphere (bodies). (By awareness (etc), what’s meant is the very same awareness aware now.)

 

Perception & understanding are vibrational appearance. There is no perceiver or understander; the experience of perception & understanding occur effortlessly / aren’t a doing. Infinite being is synonymous with knowing or knowingness, and infinite means no finite… so there is infinite knowingness but there isn’t any (finite) thing to actually perceive, understand or know. Hence, infinite can not know finite.

But the believing of thoughts makes it seems so. (The Cosmic Joke.) 

 

Infinite being doesn’t’ “do”, as there isn’t any thing to do. Infinite being be’s, and inherently in being, forgets that it is (infinite being). 

Knowingness is knowing of the thought that there is a “knower”.

The homogeneity is always ‘with’ (as) infinite being; awareness, consciousness, intelligence, peace, love (self). 

 

The speed of light is based on a measurement of light moving from a point a to a point b, which light never actually ‘did’ / that measurement was never actually done. A true measure of the speed of light would only be one way, which isn’t possible. So a two way measurement is commonly assumed to have been a one way measurement. Light doesn’t actually ‘travel’. It just seems like it, again, in the ‘thought makes it so’ manor. 

The calculation of the speed of light is based on a two way measurement which (the two way aspect) never actually occurred, and therein was never actually measured. 

 

Thank you for the long answer i truly appreciate it.
 

Yes, the experience of perception and experience appears effortlessly. But one can notice how they are appearing and spend the time with these appearance's. Would you agree? 
 

First of all is very hard to “contextualize” your words in my experience. Practically speaking for me when i am writing this answer: I am on my phone writing this answer. Can i be on my phone? 😛

It seems that you know the light thing better than me. What is a two way aspect/measurement ? 

 

[Phil]

23 hours ago, nurthur11 said:

Yes, the experience of perception and experience appears effortlessly. But one can notice how they are appearing and spend the time with these appearance's. Would you agree? 

Yes, as if ‘in’ love, but more so eternal being than experiencing. 
 

23 hours ago, nurthur11 said:

 

First of all is very hard to “contextualize” your words in my experience. Practically speaking for me when i am writing this answer: I am on my phone writing this answer. Can i be on my phone? 😛

If there is such a thing. 

 

23 hours ago, nurthur11 said:

It seems that you know the light thing better than me. What is a two way aspect/measurement ? 

 

It’s like if you were at point a and you threw a ball to point b and measured how long it took the ball to get from a to b. But the ball doesn’t come back… and then you assume it takes as long to come back, or go from b to a, as it did to go from a to b. That assumption is baked into the ‘speed of the light.’

 

 

[nurthur11]

9 hours ago, Phil said:

Yes, as if ‘in’ love, but more so eternal being than experiencing. 
 

If there is such a thing. 

 

It’s like if you were at point an and you threw a ball to point b and measured how long it took the ball to get from a to b. But the ball doesn’t come back… and then you assume it takes as long to come back, or go from b to a, as it did to go from a to b. That assumption is baked into the ‘speed of the light.’

 

 

 

Eternal being still has to be experienced in a way. Has to be known and understood, so ones feels confident that it is always there. This would be the context.

 

Even if the ball doesn't comeback there will not be a big margin of error in the measurement.

[Phil]

35 minutes ago, nurthur11 said:

 

Eternal being still has to be experienced in a way. Has to be known and understood, so ones feels confident that it is always there. This would be the context.

 

Even if the ball doesn't comeback there will not be a big margin of error in the measurement.

More of an assumption. 

[nurthur11]

13 minutes ago, Phil said:

More of an assumption. 

yeah yeah

[nurthur11]

how do I be effortlessly? 

[Phil]

Like this. 

 

 

 

I meant that would be more of an assumption than an error.

Infinite doesn’t error, but forgets, overlooks and assumes. 

 

To effortlessly be is really just to have inspected all thoughts to the contrary.

All conflicts of the mind. All seeming paradoxes. 

When there’s no room for assumption what was overlooked remembers.