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Feel stuck


noomii
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I postpone doing a lot of things all the time. I feel so stagnant and resistant. I even thought about not writing this because I feel a headache, it feels difficult to focus writing/reading and it feels difficult with emotions. And I'm thinking about other stuff that is more urgent to do. That's how it feels when I try to do most things almost all the time.
I struggle with reading shorter sentences and listening for a short time. I struggle with answering people's simple messages.

I've forced myself to do things anyways and be with the emotions and to focus on what I do despite the pressure that I experience over the whole forehead. It just doesnt feel good and I dont get much done.
I've managed to force myself doing smaller things that people do everyday and it feels like 'swimming upstream'.
Doing more complex things or planning I just feel overwhelm and I can't think about the task anymore, because there is no clarity in thought at all, it is just fog.

Because I can't learn new things easily as I want to I worry about how I might miss out on knowledge necessary for my growth or that I'm not understanding things/not enough openminded.

I have a more relaxed and gentle approach when meditating so it's better but I still feel a bit tense when I've finished meditating.
I do 15 min concentration too everyday, feels alright, only gives a small difference with focus during the day.

A counselor told me two weeks ago to make a schedule every night for the upcoming day including a time frame and everytime I need rest/enjoyment. I've tried but it did not work well because of the over thinking/emotions, lol. I've been doing my own lists before she told me that too but I've not included a time frame or rest and it never really work as I want it to.

I don't often allow myself to do things out of pure enjoyment because I fear being unproductive. I can really feel the lack of it.

I finally got a dreamboard a few weeks ago. But I've not spent so much time with it because of some confusion but I might make another thread for it. Reading it, I actually have experienced some things I've written on it. But yeah very simple things.

I've shared the same struggles here before several times, I feel so stuck.

Edited by noomii
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15 minutes ago, noomii said:

A counselor told me two weeks ago to make a schedule every night for the upcoming day including a time frame and everytime I need rest/enjoyment. I've tried but it did not work well because of the over thinking/emotions, lol. I've been doing my own lists before she told me that too but I've not included a time frame or rest and it never really work as I want it to.

This is a great suggestion but is only going to work if you start in slow in my opinion. Slowly adding things to your morning and/or evening routine, making a casual "to focus on" list for the day the night before and using the pomodoro technique (simply set a timer for focused burst of work and then for breaks) will be easier to work into your day than to make a schedule for the whole day and try to stick to that suddenly. 

18 minutes ago, noomii said:

I don't often allow myself to do things out of pure enjoyment because I fear being unproductive. I can really feel the lack of it.
 

All that you need is a little more intention. Make a list of things that are fun and relaxing, then use the timer and give yourself that time to enjoy intentionally. If you're using the pomodoro technique, you'll have that break right after 20 minutes of focusing work, so you aren't going to be thinking about why you don't deserve it. 

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Be careful of what you're calling activities of enjoyment

 

Partying, playing, spa, vacation, ....

 

It's a trap thinking those are what brings you enjoyment. It's just another taught belief, inspect it

 

Following the peace, what you're aligned with, could mean work is enjoyment, chores

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6 hours ago, Mandy said:

This is a great suggestion but is only going to work if you start in slow in my opinion. Slowly adding things to your morning and/or evening routine, making a casual "to focus on" list for the day the night before and using the pomodoro technique (simply set a timer for focused burst of work and then for breaks) will be easier to work into your day than to make a schedule for the whole day and try to stick to that suddenly. 

All that you need is a little more intention. Make a list of things that are fun and relaxing, then use the timer and give yourself that time to enjoy intentionally. If you're using the pomodoro technique, you'll have that break right after 20 minutes of focusing work, so you aren't going to be thinking about why you don't deserve it. 

I will try this out, thanks. I've had this in mind but it sounds much more simple when someone else suggest it to me.

Enjoying intentionally sounds great.
When I do stuff for enjoyment I usually think I should be doing something more productive, really just wasting the time I could enjoy focused on thoughts that don't feel good.
I just wish all of this was allowed to happen naturally, not needing to set out a timer for enjoyment or relaxation.

 

 

6 hours ago, Devin said:

Be careful of what you're calling activities of enjoyment

 

Partying, playing, spa, vacation, ....

 

It's a trap thinking those are what brings you enjoyment. It's just another taught belief, inspect it

 

Following the peace, what you're aligned with, could mean work is enjoyment, chores

Yeah. I wish I felt aligned with work.

Edited by noomii
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4 hours ago, noomii said:

 

Yeah. I wish I felt aligned with work.

Maybe not the activity under a microscope but why do you work, your why, are you aligned with that

 

Also, Meditation and simplifying your life can get you to a point where you can appreciate everything. Yoga is also quite important for me as well, body tension telegraphs into your mind in ways that make life seem less enjoyable

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