noomii Posted November 7, 2022 Share Posted November 7, 2022 (edited) I postpone doing a lot of things all the time. I feel so stagnant and resistant. I even thought about not writing this because I feel a headache, it feels difficult to focus writing/reading and it feels difficult with emotions. And I'm thinking about other stuff that is more urgent to do. That's how it feels when I try to do most things almost all the time. I struggle with reading shorter sentences and listening for a short time. I struggle with answering people's simple messages. I've forced myself to do things anyways and be with the emotions and to focus on what I do despite the pressure that I experience over the whole forehead. It just doesnt feel good and I dont get much done. I've managed to force myself doing smaller things that people do everyday and it feels like 'swimming upstream'. Doing more complex things or planning I just feel overwhelm and I can't think about the task anymore, because there is no clarity in thought at all, it is just fog. Because I can't learn new things easily as I want to I worry about how I might miss out on knowledge necessary for my growth or that I'm not understanding things/not enough openminded. I have a more relaxed and gentle approach when meditating so it's better but I still feel a bit tense when I've finished meditating. I do 15 min concentration too everyday, feels alright, only gives a small difference with focus during the day. A counselor told me two weeks ago to make a schedule every night for the upcoming day including a time frame and everytime I need rest/enjoyment. I've tried but it did not work well because of the over thinking/emotions, lol. I've been doing my own lists before she told me that too but I've not included a time frame or rest and it never really work as I want it to. I don't often allow myself to do things out of pure enjoyment because I fear being unproductive. I can really feel the lack of it. I finally got a dreamboard a few weeks ago. But I've not spent so much time with it because of some confusion but I might make another thread for it. Reading it, I actually have experienced some things I've written on it. But yeah very simple things. I've shared the same struggles here before several times, I feel so stuck. Edited November 7, 2022 by noomii Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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