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I'm Getting More Responsibilities and I'm Scared


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I'm working with my team in my company on a new project and I don't understand a lot of it.

 

I'm running on 4 hours of sleep, my senior co-worker wants me to prepare an idea of a service we can provide to help the team with the project, but I cant figure anything out with my brain like this, I'm so tired lol. 

 

Everyone in my company uses more advanced vocabulary and has good articulation, I think mine can use some sharpening. Sometimes people talk to me and I have no idea what they're saying, i got adhd too so I guess that's why.

 

I had to take my mom to the airport early in the morning and I could barely sleep last night so I'm a zombie today. 

 

I'm expected to show him a draft of it tomorrow at 1pm. It's supposed to be a project framework which I've never made before.

 

Should I just start tomorrow when I'll have a full gas tank? 

 

Or should I just grind on it now even though I can barely think straight?

 

I also got another career path opened up recently so I'm basically working 2 jobs now, it's a lot of stuff. 

 

On one hand this is exactly what I wanted, I think this is what life's all about. 

 

On the other hand, I'm freaking out, beliefs about me not being good enough are coming up, it's like the world's purifying me now, forcing me to confront these inner discordant beliefs. 

Edited by Orb

"Mediocrity is gone. Mind is clear of limitation. I seek no state of enlightenment. Neither do I remain where no enlightenment exists. Since I linger in neither condition, eyes cannot see me. If hundreds of birds strew my path with flowers, such praise would be meaningless."

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@DMT Elf I can't think straight, I fell asleep for an hour 😴

"Mediocrity is gone. Mind is clear of limitation. I seek no state of enlightenment. Neither do I remain where no enlightenment exists. Since I linger in neither condition, eyes cannot see me. If hundreds of birds strew my path with flowers, such praise would be meaningless."

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@BlendingInfinite I'm fine, i got all those things completed already lol. 

 

I'm not interested in being a leader or a follower personally.

"Mediocrity is gone. Mind is clear of limitation. I seek no state of enlightenment. Neither do I remain where no enlightenment exists. Since I linger in neither condition, eyes cannot see me. If hundreds of birds strew my path with flowers, such praise would be meaningless."

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@Orb

It’s good the beliefs are coming up & out. Careful with the incorporating of a sep self narrative as they do (I’m getting more responsibilities, I’m scared, I’m freaking out) about the experience. Let those go too.  Allow the truth to simply be, ‘take your stand as awareness’. You are the the calm of every storm, the silent irreproachable ‘witness’ of all relativity. You are the movement and the repose, the peace and the creation, the light and the life. This is all for you - enjoy yourself. Allow yourself the magical ineffable gift of reality, of yourself. 🤍

On 11/3/2022 at 12:57 PM, Orb said:

On one hand this is exactly what I wanted, I think this is what life's all about. 

 Indeed. You’re an incredibly powerful creator, creating. 

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@Phil thanks, I'm still working and doing well for myself, in the process of getting a promotion possibly. 

 

im just asking questions and being honest if i am unfamiliar with material, but what's most important is they feel my willingness to do the work, to learn.

"Mediocrity is gone. Mind is clear of limitation. I seek no state of enlightenment. Neither do I remain where no enlightenment exists. Since I linger in neither condition, eyes cannot see me. If hundreds of birds strew my path with flowers, such praise would be meaningless."

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1 hour ago, Orb said:

@Phil thanks, I'm still working and doing well for myself, in the process of getting a promotion possibly. 

Well of course, cause you’re awesome. 

1 hour ago, Orb said:

 

im just asking questions and being honest if i am unfamiliar with material, but what's most important is they feel my willingness to do the work, to learn.

Wise. 🙏 

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23 hours ago, Orb said:

@BlendingInfinite I'm fine, i got all those things completed already lol. 

 

I'm not interested in being a leader or a follower personally.

Leader is Not about leading people. A leadership personality is emotionally stable, self confident, low in neurotism etc. I am not here to lie to you and Tell you fairytails so you feel better. That is because i dont Do it to myself. You can Hardy change your personality. 

Edited by BlendingInfinite
 

You can derive it from simple logic

Left means not right

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@BlendingInfinite are you in a position where you're financially successful? Im talking like making more than 500k+ a year. 

 

Are you in a leadership position?

"Mediocrity is gone. Mind is clear of limitation. I seek no state of enlightenment. Neither do I remain where no enlightenment exists. Since I linger in neither condition, eyes cannot see me. If hundreds of birds strew my path with flowers, such praise would be meaningless."

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1 minute ago, Orb said:

@BlendingInfinite are you in a position where you're financially successful? Im talking like making more than 500k+ a year. 

 

Are you in a leadership position?

Yes, more than that.

 

Even if I wasnt it would still be true because it is true now.

 

You can derive it from simple logic

Left means not right

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@BlendingInfinite oh nice. 

 

My gut tells me not to trust you, sorry lol. 

 

Hm, actually I trust that you're making as much money as you say you are and that you're successful, but your attitude and outlook doesn't jibe with me honestly. 

 

But thanks for the honest responses.

Edited by Orb

"Mediocrity is gone. Mind is clear of limitation. I seek no state of enlightenment. Neither do I remain where no enlightenment exists. Since I linger in neither condition, eyes cannot see me. If hundreds of birds strew my path with flowers, such praise would be meaningless."

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4 minutes ago, BlendingInfinite said:

Anf it took me 3 years to achieve, not 20 or more.

What's the relevance of this?

"Mediocrity is gone. Mind is clear of limitation. I seek no state of enlightenment. Neither do I remain where no enlightenment exists. Since I linger in neither condition, eyes cannot see me. If hundreds of birds strew my path with flowers, such praise would be meaningless."

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1 minute ago, Orb said:

@BlendingInfinite oh nice. 

 

My gut tells me not to trust you, sorry lol. 

Yes, it would be hard to admit to yourself that you hardly could change much.

 

Maybe if you are really dedicated over years you could.

 

There is also much scientific evidence available. It is basically proven, so you dont have to trust me.

 

Using your gut is following ego most of the time. Rationality is important and inclusive for success, too.

 

You can derive it from simple logic

Left means not right

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@BlendingInfinite

 

Those are your beliefs, if they served you well then good, otherwise I'm no longer interested in this discussion. 

 

I am on a different path than you, I will seek guidance from those who have walked the path I'm on now, and I've found plenty people for that. 

 

Edited by Orb

"Mediocrity is gone. Mind is clear of limitation. I seek no state of enlightenment. Neither do I remain where no enlightenment exists. Since I linger in neither condition, eyes cannot see me. If hundreds of birds strew my path with flowers, such praise would be meaningless."

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4 minutes ago, Orb said:

@BlendingInfinite

 

Those are your beliefs, if they served you well then good, otherwise I'm no longer interested in this discussion. 

 

I am on a different path than you, I will seek guidance from those who have walked the path I'm on now, and I've found plenty people for that. 

 

There is something llke objective truth.

 

You nevet now they really walked your path. I dont care what you do and what people you found.

 

 

 

You can derive it from simple logic

Left means not right

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@BlendingInfinite

 

Enough.

"Mediocrity is gone. Mind is clear of limitation. I seek no state of enlightenment. Neither do I remain where no enlightenment exists. Since I linger in neither condition, eyes cannot see me. If hundreds of birds strew my path with flowers, such praise would be meaningless."

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@BlendingInfinite not if i cant get the last word! 

"Mediocrity is gone. Mind is clear of limitation. I seek no state of enlightenment. Neither do I remain where no enlightenment exists. Since I linger in neither condition, eyes cannot see me. If hundreds of birds strew my path with flowers, such praise would be meaningless."

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