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Doubting my school and teachers

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Something is bugging me a bit.


I recently started studying massage therapy. Got into a school. It's been about a month now.


The thing is, that I'm actually kind of feeling passionate and inspired about the massage therapy itself. But the school just isn't resonating for some reason.


Basically there are some problems about the school itself. I somehow feel like the school and the teaching etc. are not that high quality.


For example, when the studying started, there was really no history of massage therapy, no theory or different styles and paradigms, not even going through what the massage really is all about. They did not teach what like actually happens in the soft tissues when the massage is recieved. It was just straight ahead anatomy and massage classes. And ever since I've felt like the base & fundamentals are missing.


I also doubt the teachers. I often get this sort of feeling like they don't completely grasp what they're doing and teaching. As if some sort of professionalism and deep understanding and wisdom of the subject was missing.


The studying is also quite chaotic to be honest. The curriculum seems so chaotic and kind of all over the place that I never really get that centered feeling of a beginning & completion of a subject or a cycle you know? It's like the teaching style and school system is kind of messed up and weird that it makes the learning and grasping the subject hard.


All around I have this feeling like the teachers and the school can't make me feel assured and competent in the field. I doubt if they can actually help the student become confident and truly professional. I don't even feel like the teachers are true professionals... Some questions are answered quite poorly and superficially. And also I kinda get the sense like critique isn't that well taken and the teachers kind of defend their authority rather than having true in-depth mastery and professionalism.


This can be just projection and me kind stirring up since it's been a while I've been to school. Also it's a new city etc. Dunno. It might also be a certain blessing in disguise, because if I find the spark within, I might have to 'tap into' my own confidence and mastery, and go a bit offroad with the studying.


There must be an effortless way.

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Get all you can from it, including the things you notice that could be better. Maybe your dream is to start your own massage school 20 years from now. 🤷‍♂️ Or maybe not, maybe you can just give them some helpful input when you leave. 


1 hour ago, Blessed2 said:

I doubt if they can actually help the student become confident and truly professional.

Can anyone really do that for another though? What you want is clear to you, you don't need someone else to give it to you all you need to do is identify it and line up with it. 

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The school is the school and the teachers are the teachers. Doubting that would be insanity because that is what that is. But I don’t think you’re insane 😂 

I think some great ideas and insights are arising, and I’d note it all just like @Mandy suggested. 

I once knew a guy who would just call that a business plan. 

Maybe it’s just how creation & preference work. 

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I having a bit trouble finding/tapping into the energy of mastery and professionalism within myself. The school doesn't seem to fill that spot. And now I feel like I'm wasting time. Like I should try more to find that mastery-energy and put in more work. Somethings is holding me back from it though. The same kind of fear or laziness, not taking responsinility.


Would be so much easier to have a true master teacher.


Would like to have a feeling that it is possible for me to actually build a carreer out of this. Start my own company etc. Already have some ideas as in how to stand out etc. But it is a bit hard to imagine myself actually doing it.


There must be an effortless way.

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Write what you want on the right side of the back of the dreamboard. 

Let the business plan fill in from the right (end result) to the left (each step). 

Google for any specifics & ask those who’ve already done certain steps for any info needed. 

Imagine what you want to happen happening, vs trying to imagine yourself doing it. 

There is happening, apparently, but no “doer”. 

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It might be that the school just isn't for me. Maybe I'll see if I find something else that resonates more.


Wondering a bit that maybe I should have tried more, worked more. But it just doesn't feel good to go there, somethings off.


Worry that maybe there isn't anything that fits me. I just haven't found any schools or studies that feels like my thing.


A Reiki course coming soon, that's interesting and can't wait, but ya know, maybe Reiki isn't the best thing to start building a future or carreer on.




There must be an effortless way.

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