Blessed2 Posted August 10, 2022 Share Posted August 10, 2022 I'm insecure of my body. I noticed it the first time some years ago. Before I really had no problem, but at some point I just started looking at the mirror and judging what I saw. I think I gained some weight at that time. Not so much, but still didn't like what I looked like anymore. I talked about it in my expression journal: "I'm insecure about how my body looks. I just don't think I look good. My butt is weird, not at all well-proportioned. Same with my chest. I'm insecure about my chest because I think I kinda have manboobs. So I don't feel sexy or masculine. I don't think I could be seen as truly attractive because of this. I don't like being in public because of it. I don't like how shirts look on me, I try to wear clothes that hide it. It controls my life. That's about it. I'm insecure of my body because I think I have manboobs." Ever since the problem seem to have grown bit by bit, and it's starting to feel really bad and even restricting what I do and what I wear. And I also constantly kind of feel dirty, sweaty and fat and unhealthy. I feel my tummy when I sit, I feel my breast area being fat and soft and it feels really bad. It ruines my mood, it ruins my confidence, it just generally feels really bad and makes life kind of dim and joyless. I kinda know what I should do. I should exercise regularly, I should eat only healthy foods, and maybe I should see a doctor if I have some hormonal imbalance or something that causes the breast thing. But I really feel so tired, so unmotivated, so overwhelmed and discouraged to do any of that. Just some simple exercise seems too much. I just started meditating every morning and that is already bit of work for me. And cooking healthy food and having good regular meals etc, the whole diet shembang, also seems so overwhelming. And I'm also impatient. I don't feel like "just taking the first step" because I'd like to fix it all already. I'd like to get it over with, to feel better now and feel good about how I look, now. Not step by step after months or years. 😑 Quote Mention Everyone is waiting for eternity but the Shaman asks: "how about today?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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